


Broken Hope

by PursueCrazyLife



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Aaron Centric, Aaron's Blue Jacket, Aaron's obsession with license plates, Abraham's obsession with hinges, Angst, Characters are going to die, Daryl and Aaron are best friends, Depressing, Eric and Aaron being cute sarcastic cinnamon rolls, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, If you're not all crying at the end I did something wrong, It's TWD after all, M/M, Original Character(s), Rick tries to be Team Dad, Whump, sad stuff with a sprinkle of humour, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8847955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PursueCrazyLife/pseuds/PursueCrazyLife
Summary: Aaron and Eric have lived for 7 years in Alexandria, but now they are forced to leave their home. Together with Rick's group they will have to embark on a journey of love and loss. Trying to find a safe haven.Because we need more Aaric Fanfiction.





	1. Don't Look Back

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. 
> 
> Okay, so basically the world needs more Aaric fanfics. And after reading nearly every Aaric fanfiction (Kudos to all the writers) I needed more. Now I happen to have written a long Aaric story. Normally I don't post my work, because I'm not that good. Writing is more a meditative hobby for me, but desperate times, desperate measures, right? After a serious pep talk, with myself, I decided to post this story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> Before you start to read, this is slightly AU. They did attack Negan's outpost, but nobody got lucilled.  
> The work can be placed 5 years after season 6.  
> And Abraham and Rosita are still a couple, because I love that ship.
> 
> Disclaimer: Apart from my OCs none of these characters are mine. They belong to AMC's The Walking Dead. If they were mine; however, Aaron and Eric would already have their own spin-off show.

_"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."_

_Friedrich Nietzsche_

 

“How's the wall holding up, Abraham?”, Rick asked.

The man smiled, “We have made the final touches to the last panel. What we need now are the hinges. So, where are they?”

Glenn shrugged his shoulders, “I told you, we'll hit the hardware store next week.”

Abraham turned towards Eric who swallowed audibly, but decided to remain silent.

“I'm just saying, we have two teams going on supply runs, or trying to, and I've been waiting two bloody weeks for these hinges.”

“Trying to?”, Daryl huffed.

“Some people in your group are far more interested in collecting license plates than to focus on the important things.”

Here he shot a glance at Aaron, who completely ignored him. The young man admired how the sunbeam hit the hair of his boyfriend. Turning it into a bronze color, and making his freckles appear stronger.

“I mean, even the kids started to hang license plates on the wall. And at the last town meeting Aaron was busy swapping plates. Hell, even your son has quite the collection.” Rick tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.

“I can get you one, if you feel left out”, Eric offered.

Abraham shook his head in despair. “No. I hope you feel proud of yourself Aaron...Aaron, stop mentally undressing your boyfriend and listen!”, Abraham barked, making the man in question jump.

He collected himself, giving a sheepish grin. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

Abraham huffed again in annoyance. “This is just...just...”

Clearing his throat Rick moved on to his next point. “How are we on supplies?”

“We'll have enough for the next 2 months”, Glenn said, his arm slung around Maggie.

“Sweet”, Tara commented, “But you're still going on a run?”

The Asian nodded, “Yes, next week we'll swing by the supermarket, up north, it's on the way to the hardware store.”

“And I'll get my fucking hinges”, Abraham remarked.

“Very good. Aaron, Daryl, Eric how is the situation?”

“Ahm...we can't take the Virginia group. The leader has exhibited far too violent behavior. They disagreed over which route to take, and the leader almost killed one of them. Accusing them of reading the map wrong.”

“Which route did they take?”, Rick asked, laying his hand on the grip of his gun.

“Away from us”, Aaron smiled.

“You have something to do with that?”, Maggie asked.

“We may have sent a few walkers from our direction.”

“Good work. Any other survivors?” They shook their heads. “How's the training going?”

Aaron turned his attention to his boyfriend, nudging him softly. A smile spread on the man's face. But he shook his head, motioning him to listen. Aaron was bored. Nothing had changed much these last weeks. So why did Rick keep insisting on weekly meetings?

 

Out of habit he checked Alexandria. Looking beyond the treetops he could just make out the wall. It was quiet here in the forest. Almost peaceful. Sometimes they didn't hear a roamer for days. Their moaning only in the survivor's imagination. Smoke climbed up. Aaron froze. Were people out there? Was it the Virginia group? But then he realized, a campfire would never have created that much smoke. This most caused by a large fire.

“Guys, we have to go home. Now!”, he interrupted Michonne's monologue on knife training.

Aaron felt Eric's hand search his. Squeezing tightly. Fear on his face as they approached Alexandria. A loud bang destroyed the silence. Flames came from behind the walls. Nobody said anything. Just staring at the explosion. Bits of the wall hurdled through the air. Breaking everything they had worked for, in the last years, down to nothing.

Glenn and Rick made a run for it. Shaking the others out of their stupor. The smell of burnt flesh overpowering, the closer they came.

Glenn reached the remains of the walls. Not slowing down. Houses were still exploding. Pieces of furniture falling like rain on the street. Burnt bodies on the pavement.

“Stop, Glenn! They are dead, we have to find shelter”, Abraham shook, despite his steady voice.

“My daughter is inside”, his voice broke, eyes filled with tears.

Maggie joined him. “We're going inside”, she said.

Mere inches away another explosion. Singed their clothes. Aaron pulled Eric down. A few seconds later, and they would have been beheaded by a piece of the wall.

“Nobody survived this”, Daryl said. Slowly moving back from the wreckage. Pulling Rick away.

“Carl...Judith...they're still inside...we have to...”, Rick stuttered.

Michonne lay a hand on his shoulder. “Daryl's right. Everybody in there is dead.”

Tara and Rosita pulled Maggie and Glenn away from the ruins. The smoke clouded their sight.

“They are here. We have to find them. Maybe they went into the basement. Locked themselves in...They could still be here”, Rick said.

“I'm going with Rick”, Glenn joined their leader's side.

“Me too”, Maggie said. “You should go. We'll catch up”, Rick already turned towards the burning ruins.

“Shit...I'll have to go as well. Eric...”, Aaron let go of Eric's hand.

“The hell you're going alone. I'm coming with you”, Eric said.

“No, you can't.”

“We talked about this, stop being so damn overprotective. It's my decision.”

 

They moved towards the ruins, and climbed over the broken wall. Weapons drawn. A stench, worse than decaying walkers, hit them. The whole street filled with broken pieces of wood. Chairs darkened, flames licking their way through mazes of bedsheets and clothes. Smoke filled the air, so thick it made everybody cough. Aaron heard crunching of glass under his boots. All the windows had been blown out. Remains of curtains, that the fire hadn't touched, blew in the wind. Looking inside he saw the white walls turned black. Beams crashing down. Still, there were no roamers in sight. But they would come soon enough.

Something hard collided with his boot. Stuck in the earth, covered with dirt, was a license plate. He picked it up. Wiping his sleeve over the material, making numbers, and the flag of Virginia, visible. His wall- their wall had been full with these. Yesterday he had found a place next to the fridge. Eric had told him that they needed to move because they didn't have any space left on the walls. Tossing the plate away felt like tossing his old life away.

Aaron had always believed, or hoped, the end of the world hadn't been the actual end. But his hope started to wither.

They reached Rick's house. The support beams had collapsed. Judith's doll lay in a rumble of dirt. Picking it up Daryl tucked it between his belt. Rick walked over the remains of the destroyed house. Even if they had locked themselves into the basement, they wouldn't have survived.

Amongst the flames, Aaron heard a faint tingling melody. Slowly his shocked mind remembered. The music box. The first time he had talked to Maggie and Sasha he had heard the melody. He looked up, eyes locking with Maggie's. Hers filled with tears, nodding softly at him. A bittersweet moment shared between them. Sasha? Where was she? Aaron checked the tower. It had come down, and still burned.

He wasn't even sure if he could cry now, or if he ever could again. Crying didn't seem enough. He had cried over stupid things, never over anything like this. It wouldn't do the situation any justice. Nothing ever would.

Glenn led the way now towards the Rhee's home. May's bicycle stood outside. Something dark lay in front of the bike. Upon closer examination Aaron could see that it was a small shoe. A broken bone sticking out of it. The mother had put a hand in front of her mouth.

Glenn hugged her, “It's not May's shoe, Maggie”, he tried to calm her down.

Hanging on to some kind of hope he still had. Aaron always marveled how Glenn kept it all together.

Once Daryl had told him, “There's something special about this kid. He goes on. No matter what happens. He doesn't give up. Most people don't have the guts to do just that. Go on, even if you have lost the most important people in your life.”

Later on, after they had lost a potential member for Alexandria, Daryl told him about Beth, Maggie's sister. How Beth had been an important person in his life. How it felt after she died.

In the ruins they searched for the children, but nobody was there. Aaron stooped down and started to stuff cans into his backpack. All the crockery had come down. Broken in a thousand pieces. Photos burnt to a crisp. One day Maggie and Glenn wouldn't even remember how their daughter had looked like. One day he wouldn't remember how Eric looked like.

A hand connected with his. Upon looking up he met the gaze of his boyfriend. Until now, he hadn't even noticed how bad his hands had been shaking. Blood coating the cans. Red lines on his skin, bleeding sluggishly. Eric pulled his scarf off, and wrapped it around Aaron's hand.

“Why are you doing this?”, Aaron asked him. They were standing in a graveyard, and yet his boyfriend bandaged his hand.

“Because I don't want you to die from an infection.”

The others had followed Aaron, and were packing supplies.

“Let's head to the infirmary. Take all the medication you can carry. We'll need it”, Rick's voice empty, weary. Like the first time Aaron had encountered them.

They trudged on. Burnt body parts littered the streets. Most of the medication was useless. Pills either burnt, or popped out of their blister packs. Vials had broken. The liquid mixing with blood. A hopeless look on every face, they marched to the gate.

Aaron took one last look at his former home. A tight, almost painful, grip on his shoulder shoved him forward.

“Don't look back”, Rick growled.

 


	2. The Calm Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who liked and commented on my story. This a little more on the fluffy side, enjoy.

Stretching ahead of them the road. Filled with a trail of dead leaves. They hadn't seen a walker, human, or animal. Aaron checked his watch. For five hours they had been walking. Just walking, he didn't know where they were going to. Trusting Rick to guide them. Part of him still held on to the hope that this was all a nightmare. That he'd wake up. But he had hoped the same when the first walkers came to their apartment door. Back when they lived in Washington D.C. He tried to distract himself. Concentrating on the steady rhythm of his footfalls. The noise calming his frail nerves.

Maggie and Glenn clung to each other, seeking comfort. Accompanying the broken father, Michonne kept pace with Rick. Aaron knew she had loved his kids as if they had been her own. An indifferent expression on Carol's face, but her hands trembling as she lit a cigarette. How she could smoke now was beyond Aaron.

Daryl kept away from everyone. Aaron half-expected him to make a run for it, and leave the group. Like a cat he would, eventually, come back again. Eugene stayed close by Tara, making sure nothing would happen to her. Abraham and Rosita followed them, holding hands.

But where was Eric? Panic flooded his brain. He halted dead in his tracks. Someone bumped into him. Years of waking up next to Eric, moving around in small areas, and generally clumsiness resulted in him knowing how Eric's body felt next to his.

“Aaron?” Worry in his boyfriend's eyes.

“Sorry...I thought you were...”, he didn't have the heart to say it.

Eric nodded. Silently they walked on together. For a moment it seemed like another recruiter run. Like in old times. Just the two of them alone in the world. Just having each other. And it had been enough, more than enough.

Movements and snapping of branches made them stop. Everyone pulled their weapon. Ready to fight. Four figures appeared from behind the trees.

“May?!”, Glenn rushed towards them, followed by Maggie and Rick. “May”, happiness rushing through him, as he picked up his daughter.

“Dad, I thought...I thought you were dead”, tears spilled down her cheeks.

“No, we're alive. Mom's alive as well.” He hugged her as tight as he could. Enjoying the weight of her body snuggled against him. Her small hands clutching his shirt. A few minutes ago he thought he had lost all that was dear to him. Thinking he could never hold his daughter again. Maggie joined the embrace.

“We're going to get through this. We're together, it's all that counts”, Glenn kissed May's, and then Maggie's forehead.

“Dad”, Carl and Judith ran towards their father. Hugging him tightly. Rick never wanted to let them go.

“What happened?”, Enid asked.

“Alexandria exploded. We don't know why. But everything exploded. All the people died”, Rick told them, “Why are you here?”

Enid and Carl exchanged uneasy glances. “We...I know you don't want us to go outside with the girls, but they wanted to go to the playground and...well...”, Carl stopped, giving his father an unsure look. Trying to come to terms that most people from his home had died.

Never in his life had Rick been so relieved that Carl hadn't obeyed him. “You're alive that's what matters.”

 

Dusk set in, and they started a campfire. Eating from the canned goods. Nobody had an appetite. May sat between her parents. Wearing Glenn's jacket.

“Where are all the others, mom?” Maggie stopped eating.

“They died in Alexandria.” May's eyes went wide.

“Will they come back?”

“No sweetie, they won't.”

“What about Sasha, Denise, Gabriel and Morgan?”

“They are dead as well.”

“Will we die?”, her innocent face wide with fear. Asking what everyone had been thinking, or far worse; what if someone I love dies?

Rick remembered what he had told Carl. People were going to die. He would die and Lori would die. There was no way you could ever be ready for it. But he had hoped Judith and May would never have to learn this terrible truth. He'd hoped Alexandria would be safe enough for them to lead a relatively normal life.

“Dad and I will keep you safe from people, or walkers, who want to harm you.”

“We made it this far. We'll find a home again”, Glenn added. The child nodded, seemingly content with the answer, for now. Leaning against her father.

“You should get some rest”, Carol stood up, “Judith, May you can sleep a few feet away from the campfire. I'll keep watch.”

They nodded and May kissed her mother and father good night. Maggie took her arm. Softly brushing her dark hair out of her face.

“I'm so glad you're here. I thought we lost you.”

She hugged her daughter. May kissed her cheek. “I'm glad you're alive”, then she kissed Glenn, who hugged her as well and followed Carol. Soon they were settled and fell asleep.

“We should get some sleep as well”, Rick said.

“We're not going back, are we?”, Michonne asked.

Rick shook his head. “All the houses are destroyed, as well as the wall. The walkers were drawn to the commotion. It's better if we find another set of houses, and start new. Where was the Virginia group heading?”

For the life of him Aaron couldn't remember. It seemed like years had past.

“To the north”, Eric answered for him.

Rick nodded, “The first thing we're going to do is find a new place to stay. Then, when the commotion has died down, we'll find out what happened at Alexandria.”

“You don't think it was an accident?”, Michonne asked.

“It could have been an accident, but just as well it could have been someone deliberately destroying our home. Meetings are going to be inside the walls from now on. No recruiting either, for the time being.”

“We lost all we found”, Aaron said, staring into the flames.

“You ain't lost us”, Daryl pointed out.

“Daryl, you'll take the first watch.” Rick pulled his gun out, “Rosita, I want you to take a look at everyone tomorrow. Make sure nobody runs around with any unattended injuries.”

The woman nodded, leaning against Abraham.

Snuggling in their blankets, Glenn took Maggie's hand. “I was so scared that we lost her today”, he whispered.

She leaned over and kissed him. “She's still with us. As you said, we'll make it, Glenn. We can't allow ourselves to think we'll die. Because if we do, what hope is there left?” Glenn gave her a sad smile. Drinking in her features, that were illuminated by the brightness of the flames.

“I don't know what will happen if I lose one of you. I can't...”, even the thought made him sick.

She put a finger on his lips. “We won't lose each other. I love you.”

“I love you too.” This simple phrase comforted him. He slung his arm around her. Turning his head to see his daughter sleeping peacefully a few feet away.

 

Aaron felt weary, exhausted. But his mind was racing, not allowing him to fall asleep. Even on good nights he tended to be an insomniac. This was not a good night.

“We're together, Aaron. Don't think about the other things.”

“But they died. Everyone died.”

Eric turned, so he was face to face with his boyfriend. “They died with their families. Parents didn't have to see their kids get eaten by a walker, and live without them. They died together. That's the best the new world can give us now. To die together.”

Aaron hugged Eric, not letting go. “Don't leave me alone, Eric.”

A huff was the answer. “When did I ever leave you alone? You are going to survive this, because you are a fighter. You can deal with this new world. Just like this group can. Like Daryl and Rick can. We'll either grow old here, or the walkers will die, and we can return to normal.”

“But you will...”, Eric could feel Aaron's heart thunder underneath his fingertips.

“No, I won't die, because you'll protect me at all costs. Hell, you are so overprotective that no walker has a chance to get near me.”

Despite the situation Eric, as always, made him smile. “Are you complaining?”

“No, just sometimes you get really mother hen on me. But I'm not allowed to?”

“Not my fault when you are constantly the damsel in distress.” Eric smiled sweetly and kissed him, with teeth.

“Did you just bite me?”

“Maybe”, he gave him an innocent look and laid his head on Aaron's chest. Hearing his heartbeat, and feeling the warm skin under his fingertips, calming him down. Aaron could have been dead if he hadn't been at the meeting.

“You know even in this terrible situation I'm happy because you're here with me”, he added.

Aaron tightened his grip around Eric's shoulders. “I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“This ain't no goddamn romance novel”, Daryl suddenly joined their conversation.

Aaron and Eric looked up in surprise and then, for the first time in hours, Aaron started to laugh. Quickly followed by Eric. They stifled them as good as they could. Even Daryl huffed.

Aaron nudged Eric excitedly. “He laughed...what did I tell you? He laughed.” They high-fived, but slowly let their hands sink when Daryl glared.

“You seriously betted on making me laugh?” Aaron shrugged his shoulder. He didn't even have the common courtesy to pretend to be ashamed of his behavior.

“Why not? You don't laugh that much.”

“At least I don't try to lightened the mood with bad jokes.”

Eric started to laugh again, standing up so he could get a better view of Aaron sulking. He looked darn adorable when he did that. Stretching out his hand, he helped his boyfriend up.

“We'll stay up with you, Daryl. I doubt either of us will get any sleep tonight.”

 

The night sky was clear and the moon full. Brightening the whole area around them. If walkers came they would be visible.

A light flashed in the sky. “A shooting star. We should all make a wish”, in the moonlight Aaron's eyes shone like a child, who was waiting for his presents on Christmas Day.

“Could you be more gay?” The boys laughed again. Daryl had learned, from the 5 years of knowing them, that Aaron and Eric, when bored and not preoccupied, were worse than kids on a sugar high.

“My wish is that...”, interrupted by Aaron, putting his finger on Daryl's lips.

“You're not allowed to say it out loud, it won't work.” Sometimes Daryl asked himself if Aaron really was this damn dramatic, or if he played dramatic.

“Okay.”

“Did you make a wish?”

“Yeah...”

“What was it?”

“I'm not gonna tell ya. Thought I wasn't suppose to say it out loud.” Aaron's face fell.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”, Eric sing-songed. His boyfriend glared at him.

“Fortunately we're all out of apples.”

“Seriously, did you bet again? With me as the bet subject?”

“Are you feeling used, Daryl?”, Aaron asked.

Daryl decided to ignore them. It had worked before.

 

Ten minutes later a bright light blinded him.

“What are you doing?”, he asked when finally his eyes adjusted to the torch Eric held in his hands, “You're gonna draw walkers.”

“Oh come on, says the one who drives a loud motorbike. And light doesn't even draw walkers”, Aaron said.

Daryl crossed his arms, asking himself what he had done to deserve these two. The light started to flicker. “Switch it off”, Daryl muttered. When he noticed that Eric tapped on the light with his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“He's tapping a message in Morse code”, Aaron had the widest smile on his face, and started to giggle.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.”

“Did you drink too much coffee?”

“Don't remind me that I haven't had a cup of coffee, for three years now, Daryl.”

“Whatever”, he stood up. Watching in wonder as Aaron pulled out his torch, and started switching it on and off.

“Can't you read Morse code?”, Aaron asked.

Daryl pried the torch out of Eric's hand. “Hey, give it back”, Eric struggled, but couldn't reach his light.

“Come on, don't be Grumpy Cat”, Aaron said. Daryl stretched his hand out waiting for Aaron to hand over his torch. Reluctantly Aaron passed him the light. Daryl sat down again, this time between the pair.

“Daryl, why can't we..., Aaron started.

“If you don't stop annoying me you're gonna spend the night sitting next to Rick. And Eric sits on the opposite side, next to Carol.” It worked. Aaron shut his mouth.

Once again he settled down. Trying to enjoy the quiet night. It didn't last long.

“Daryl, don't you want to know what the message was we sent us?”, Eric asked.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”, Aaron joined in.

“Could you two just shut up!”

“Only after we've told you what we were sending in Morse code”, Aaron said.

“Sure”, he closed his eyes. Trying to focus on the silence.

“You're not even listening.” Would this ever stop?

“I'm listening.”

“Eric sent me the message that he loved me”, Aaron said absolutely thrilled.

“Awesome”, he wanted to facepalm himself, but didn't have the energy left. They had worn him out.

“Somewhere inside you, Daryl, I know there is a romantic”, Eric poked Daryl's chest.

“Get your hands off me, Ginger. And if you two don't stop I'm going to punch the goddamn smirks off your faces. Then you can walk around with matching black eyes, how is that for romantic?”

After that they stopped talking to him. Bantered to and fro, among themselves. Eric and Aaron soon made Daryl's mind swirl. Trading barbs with each other in a manner, and speed only people could manage, who knew each other long and very well. They got almost giddy with excitement. After a while they stopped. Having worn themselves out.

Daryl, finally, enjoyed the silence when Aaron tugged his vest.

“What did you see this time? Fucking Santa Claus? Did Eric propose to you through your light shit?”, Daryl asked when Aaron didn't answer he turned, and to his surprise, didn't see a trace of a smile in Aaron's face.

“Walkers.” Daryl's gaze followed the line of Aaron's outstretched finger.

“Shit”, underneath the bright shine of the moon he could see a large herd of walkers. Slowly, but steadily heading towards them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I would never kill the kids, what do you take me for? The worst thing is three years no coffee, can you even imagine? I do love Gleggie and Grumpy Cat Daryl. 
> 
> Do you want your loved ones to send you the Morse message: ../ .-.. --- ...- -/ -.-- --- ..- ? Then leave me a comment, or kudos. Stay tuned for the walkers attacking our squad. Thanks for reading


	3. Darkest Before Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this is a bit more violent than usual, but not worse than the show.  
> Enjoy :)

“Walkers.” Daryl gaze followed the line of Aaron's outstretched finger.

“Shit”, underneath the bright shine of the moon he could see a large herd of walkers. Slowly, but steadily heading towards them.

“Wake everyone up”, Daryl placed an arrow in his crossbow.

For a moment he saw fear flashing in Aaron's eyes. Aaron rushed towards Eric. Cupping his face kissing him. Then he hurried to their camp.

“Rick, you need to get up. Walkers are coming. A lot of walkers.”

Rick immanently sat up. Checking if his children were still beside him. “Carl, Enid, I want you to take Judith and May, and head south. Find a car, or somewhere to hide. Stay there until we've settled this.”

Carl nodded, hugging his father, closely followed by his sister. “Keep safe, dad”, Judith whispered.

“I will”, Rick brushed through her hair.

May flung herself into Maggie's arms. “You'll be okay. Carl and Enid are going to take care of you. And after this is over, you don't have to sleep anymore tonight.”

May tried not to cry. Glenn knelt beside his little family.

“Don't cry, May. You're a very brave girl. Everybody has got a job to do.”

“But I want to help you, dad.”

“Yes and you can, but tonight you'll join the others, okay? Tonight that's your job. And we are going to protect this group.” May nodded again, hugging both of them.

“I love you”, Maggie kissed her daughter, and led her to Enid.

“Thanks”, she hugged the teenager. Waving her daughter goodbye.

“Well, there is gonna be a shitstorm of biters”, Abraham commented, a smile spreading on his face.

Standing next to him Aaron gave him an appalled look. “What is the matter with you? Are you enjoying this?”

“Please, I have seen you practically brighten up, whenever you are going on one of your scouting trips.”

“Yeah, but then it isn't in the dead of night. And there isn't a whole congregation of walkers heading into our direction.”

“Trust me, you'll enjoy this as well.”

Rolling her eyes Rosita shouldered her rifle, and murmured, “Men.”

“It's perfectly plausible. Long periods of adrenaline causes endorphins to flood your brain. When you have a dry spell you get bored, and court danger again. In your case it's bordering on a mental issue.”

“Sure just bordering?”, Rosita commented.

“Jesus, we are in the middle of being devoured by a horde, and you are lecturing us on psycho stuff, Eugene?”, Tara was getting as annoyed as Rosita.

“At least someone will write about us”

“Ain't no one left”, Daryl growled.

“At least we can kick some ass. Haven't done that in a long time”, Abraham checked his gun, and picked his axe up.

Their leader turned towards them.

“We are out of practice. So everyone keep as far away of them as you can. Don't do any stunts. Keep close to the others. We've lost too many today. I don't want to lose anyone else.”

The horde came steadily nearer. Aaron made his way to Eric who was watching the walkers coming nearer.

“Don't get yourself killed.”

“I wouldn't dream of it”, he answered. Aaron took his hand.

“We had worse, you know.”

“Well I can't remember worse. Remind me.”

“I'll keep you safe”, Aaron dodged the question. His hands steady on his knife. A weak smile on his face. To anyone else he seemed perfectly calm, and in control. Eric knew his boyfriend was terrified.

“I don't need protecting, Aaron.”

“But you're all I've got.”

 

The sea of walkers was dangerously close. More and more following. Only now did they understand the sheer numbers they would have to fight against.

“We're gonna attack now”, Rick pulled out his gun.

Aaron squeezed Eric's hand. “See you later”, he whispered, letting go and taking his spot in the line.

“Good luck”, Rick fired his first round into the crowd of the living dead.

 

Stench hitting them hard. Moaning making their ears ring. Nobody had forgotten the motions. Some were more practiced than others, but everyone remembered. Soon they forgot about their own safety. The only thing that mattered now was the danger in front of them, and how they could keep it away from the people they loved.

Bony hands with flesh hanging from them, tried to grab him. Aaron stabbed the knife into the soft matter of the brain. Warm, dark blood came onto his clothes. The decaying smell hitting him harder. Heads came rolling from Glenn's direction. A smile on Abraham's bloody face. Swinging his axe to and fro. It seemed he had been born for this moment. Eric's face had lost his warm glow. Unstoppable rage gripping him as he tore through left and right. Rick and Carol fixed their eyes on the enemy. Hands perfectly steady as they went from walker to walker.

Aaron stabbed the next. Blood splashed into his eyes. Making his vision blur. Hastily he wiped his eyes. Hard fingers crushed onto his arm. Long fingernails tearing through his shirt. Taking a step back the creature lunged forward shoving him. Aaron fell. The wind was knocked out of him as he slammed onto the ground. The walker stumbled as well. Crashing into the blade of his knife. Intestines dripping out. Its teeth knocking together. Foul breath coming closer and closer. Aaron managed to pull his gun. With an echoing bang the roamer stopped. Collapsing onto him. Something wet connected with Aaron's cheek. Upon turning he looked into the dead, dim eyes of another walker. Head cleanly cut off. Michonne's doing.

“Aaron!”, Maggie rolled the walker off him. Offering him a hand.

Upon standing, he saw the herd closing in on them. Gunshots were fired. Ringing in his ears. Like the explosions in Alexandria. They kept coming. Again and again his knife came down on them. Pieces of flesh sprayed on his shirt, and into his mouth. The foul taste made him want to vomit. He swallowed the bile. Carrying on. Losing count of how many he had killed. How many he still had to kill. Blood pumping through his veins. Harder and harder. Making his hands shake. Several times he almost lost his grip on the knife. Roamers seemed to multiply. His foot gave way under him. Slipping he lost balance.

Maggie lay on the ground next to him. Aaron rolled over to her. Over the grass, that was slicked with blood, and decaying human body parts. He felt the warm gore soak through his shirt. Taking his knife he stabbed the roamers who slipped. Bones cracking. An axe came down, where seconds early Aaron's hand had been.

“You scared, you sonovabitches? Didn't see me coming, did ya?”, Abraham took them out one by one. A diabolical smile on his blood covered face.

Maybe they would get through this, and not die. Aaron tried to stand up, only to slip again. On the ground he saw a walker making a grab for Maggie. The creature caught hold of her arm. Walkers pinned her down. Headless ones fell on her. He wanted to tell Abraham. Tell him to help them. When he opened his mouth not one syllable came out. Aaron crawled towards Maggie. Using his arms to move forward. Stabbing abominations along the way. He was nearly there when he saw the teeth sink into her flesh. Ripping out a chunk of her. Her screaming nearly pierced his ears. Then suddenly everything fell silent. As if someone had turned off the volume button. Aaron only saw Maggie and the walker. He grabbed her arm. Trying to pull her away from the monsters. Another walker got her leg. Her mouth open. He still heard nothing. Sitting up he tried to get a better grip of her arm. Something tugged at his boot. Aaron delivered the walker a good aimed kick in the head. The whole thing exploded like an overripe fruit. Something, so loud that even he could hear it, stopped him for a moment. The sickening sound, that reminded him of chicken wings being pulled apart, was so loud it nearly deafened him. Maggie's body seemed light now, and he recoiled, falling onto his back. Something dripped into his eyes. He looked down. Resisting the urge to scream. He was holding her arm. Only Maggie's arm. The bone crudely sticking out of the socket. The rest of her still a few feet away.

Glenn rushed towards the spot. Screaming. Aaron managed to stand up. He saw the walkers feasting on the remains of Maggie. Tackling Glenn he managed to pull him away. Getting hold of the man's arms. He tried to shake Aaron off, but Rick and Daryl joined them. Keeping Glenn steady.

All the others were closer now. This surprised Aaron. When he surveyed the area he saw bodies littering the whole meadow. Abraham was finishing off the last walkers. Had the fight finally stopped? Fear grabbed him again. His eyes scanned every person. Where was Eric? It felt harder to breathe. Panic getting the better of him. Screams were dying down. Rick and Daryl's talk died down. The only sound he heard was the blood rushing through his ears.

But then he spotted Eric. His hair seemed even redder than it had been yesterday. Gleaming with blood in the first beam of sunlight. Worry etched on Eric's face. He rushed towards him. Strong arms hugging him, holding him tight. A soft hand on his chin. Brown eyes checking for wounds. His mouth moved, but still Aaron couldn't hear a thing. Eric turned pale looking at Aaron's feet. His left boot bore bite marks.

His boyfriend hastily untied the shoe. Pulling it off. His hand already on the hilt of his knife. Relief flooded his face when he saw that Aaron hadn't been bitten. The teeth hadn't even broken through the coarse material of the shoe. Eric put the shoe on again. Fastening the laces. Concern shinning in his eyes. He turned and called someone. Rosita came towards them.

 

With Glenn still in shock over Maggie's death she felt glad to be needed. Taking her mind of what had happened. Distracting her.

“What's the matter?”, she went towards the pair.

Both Eric and Aaron were pale, and covered in blood. She probably didn't look much better. Aaron didn't acknowledged her, it seemed as if he wasn't quite there.

“Aaron, are you injured?”, his eyes were fixed on her now. Red around the edges from dried blood.

“Aaron?”, Eric asked anxiously. He didn't seem to notice that his boyfriend had talked to him.

“Do you have a light?” Eric nodded handing her his torch. “I'll check for concussion.”

His pupils responded normal. Bruises on his arm and back were going to be painful but not dangerous. She unwrapped the scarf around his hand.

“Does he need stitches?”

“No. But I'll give him a new bandage, and some antibiotics to be on the safe side. I'll get them.”

 

Rosita walked to the campfire that had died down. Strange that a few hours prior Maggie had sat here together with her husband and daughter. Alive even smiling. And now...

“Is anybody else bitten?”, Tara had tears in her eyes. Hands tucked in one of her oversized hoodies.

“Not that I know of.”

“What's up with Aaron?”

“I think he's in shock. Saw what happened to...”, Rosita didn't bear to finish the sentence.

The younger girl accompanied her. Eric held Aaron's hand, whispering. After they bandaged his hand, Abraham walked up from behind Aaron.

“Is everything alright here?” All the others turned, but Aaron didn't move. Staring straight ahead. Eric didn't see a hint of Aaron having noticed the other man.

“Shit...I think he can't hear us”, already he checked Aaron's ears for blood, but he didn't find any.

“In rare times a person who just experienced something severely traumatic can experience temporarily hearing loss”, Eugene joined them.

“You're okay”, Tara hugged him tightly. “I couldn't leave you alone”, Eugene said.

“Fist bump time”, Tara suggested, smiling as he stretched his hand out, and their knuckles touched.

 

The blood in his ears seemed to slow. He faintly heard voices, but they sounded far away like a radio station that wasn't tuned in. First he only caught snippets of their conversation.

“Sure...temporary...not deaf...”, it was Eric's voice. He talked to Rosita who took Aaron's pulse.

“You're going to be okay, Aaron”, Eric said. He slowly nodded.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yeah...”, Aaron managed.

“Oh my God...Don't ever do that to me again. I thought you perforated your eardrums, or something. Imagine me learning ASL?”

Despite the situation Eric always managed to make him smile.

“Aaron, how many fingers am I holding up?”, Rosita asked.

“Three.” A smile spread on her face.

“The good news is, you don't seem to have a concussion.”

Aaron stood up, ignoring Eric's protesting. “I need to go to Glenn.”

“Rick and Daryl are already dealing with it”, Eric spotted the bruise that formed around his boyfriend's eye, “They'll take care of him.”

“No, it's my fault. I was there. I should have...I...they pulled her away from right under my nose.”

“You saved Glenn's life”, Eric said, “If it hadn't been for you he would be lying next to her.”

Abraham squeezed his shoulder, “Glenn would have walked right into the mob if you hadn't stopped him. I know he survives practically everything, but that...No chance.”

 

Glenn's screams had died down turned into sobs. His whole body trembled. Rick had a hand on the man's shoulder.

Coming closer Daryl gave Aaron a piercing look. “You're okay man?” He shrugged his shoulders, eyes fixed on Glenn.

“We can't do anything for him. It really sucks”, Daryl pulled out a cigarette. Everything appeared red. Even the sun had turned red. As if God showed them he had seen the bloodshed. Aaron's shirt felt stiff from the dry blood.

“That was one hell of a battle”, the tables had turned. It felt strange that Daryl did small talk. Surreal really. How many times had Eric and Aaron tried to coax him into talking on their recruiting runs? Now Aaron's tongue felt far too heavy.

Glenn stood up moving towards the walkers. Carefully picking up the now gnawed arm from his wife. Moving bodies away. Gathering the pieces of her. Like a cruel jigsaw puzzle. A bloody mess in his hands.

Daryl said nothing taking another draft of his fag. Rick ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his. Glenn carefully laid the bloody heap a few feet away from the battlefield. Taking a shovel. Digging a hole.

Aaron moved closer towards the grave. Picking up a shovel himself. Over the years it had become second nature. Even in a time of peace people had died. Sometimes someone felt too safe, and went over the wall. Some died whilst on supply run. Even his recruiter group had victims.

Glenn looked up. Eyes rimmed red. Tears leaving trail marks on his otherwise dirty skin. With a quick movement he shoved Aaron. He only didn't fall because he used the shovel to counterbalance. Rick shook his head. Leading Aaron away. They left Glenn to his digging.

“I'm going to take Michonne, and find the kids. You two keep an eye on Glenn. I don't want him doing anything stupid”, solemnly both nodded.

“Abraham, you'll be the lookout. Rosita, is anyone seriously injured?”, the woman shook her head.

“Has anyone been bitten?”

“No. One good thing, right?”, Tara tried to lighten the mood.

Slowly Rick nodded surveying the horde of walkers. Considering everything they had been lucky. With a little less luck they would have lost Glenn and Aaron as well.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. R.I.P. Maggie. But I always wanted to explore how Glenn would react if Maggie died. We all know now how Maggie deals with his death, but the other way around... 
> 
> I wish you all a Merry Christmas :)


	4. Gone

“We should have gone further. Find a car, or a house. Something. We were all out in the open. Tempting fate, and now Maggie...”, Rick tried to forget images of Lori's body. How the world felt like it had stopped moving.

“You did the best you could”, Michonne's steady voice brought him back to reality. “How's Glenn holding up?”

“Not good. Aaron saved his life.” Michonne nodded slowly.

“How is Aaron holding up?”, she eventually asked.

“I think he's still in shock. But soldiering on, like always.”

“They're going to make it, Rick. Our group made it once before. Eric and Aaron are used to being on the outside. And Enid has survived on her own a few years back.”

“Yes, but that is different. What about Judith and May? They never lived here. They don't understand the danger.”

“They can handle a gun and a knife. Both girls have killed a walker. More than we had done when this all started.”

“But we lost someone who was used to it.” Both fell silent, trying not to think about the most obvious concern. Were the kids alright? They came to a clearing.

“Weren't we here before? I recognize this place”, Michonne pulled her katana out. A rundown barn stood in the middle of the glade. All these years, and it still stood there. Once a beacon of hope, now Rick wasn't even sure if hope still existed.

“Let's go inside. Maybe Carl's in there.” With trained weapons they pushed open the door.

“Dad?”, Carl came out of the dark.

“Are you alright?”, Rick hugged his son.

“Yeah, Judith and May are sleeping.” Enid gave them a small wave.

The father led his son outside. “Carl...”, he stopped, not sure how to say it.

“Somebody died?”

“Yeah. Maggie she didn't make it.” Carl said nothing.

“I don't want you to tell May just yet.”

 

They set up camp in the barn. Rosita had finished checking the last bandages. Gathering the supplies they had. Not enough to get them much further.

“Hey”, Abraham sat down next to her. Laying a hand around his shoulder, she leaned against him. Enjoying his solid, breathing body.

“Just hold me”, she pulled his hand into hers.

“I'm so glad you're here”, he whispered, kissing her head, “We're gonna make it.”

“I hope we do.”

“We will”, her boyfriend reassured her.

 

Canned food was something he had gotten used to. Before the world stopped to be the world, he had eaten so much from these that he knew most flavors. All the nights he sat at a campfire. Hearing the scraping of spoons against the thin metal. Making sure he didn't burn his fingers on the warm surface of the can. Aaron convinced him to just stir all the flavors together, and throw beef jerky into the mix. Once Aaron even put some vodka in. Eric still wasn't sure if he had liked it or not. They never repeated it though. This seemed a lot like home. A world he had known before all this. May sat next to him. She smiled, so they hadn't told her yet. Often the girl visited the couple. Having a keen curiosity, for adventure and danger, she liked to listen to stories from their time in Africa, or some recruiting trips. They often babysat her when the others were on supply runs.

“Eric”, she leaned forward smelling the stew. Her dark hair dangerously near the soup.

“Do you still have your hair tie?”

“Yeah”, she handed it to him, and he tied her hair into a ponytail.

“Eric, are we staying here now?”, her voice didn't betray any fear. It had always surprised Eric how calm she seemed. Taking after her father.

“For now. But I think we'll find a new home.”

“Is Aaron missing his license plates?”

“Oh, I think he'll survive. I'll let you in on a little secret. The walls were already full. We didn't have more space anyway.”

“He can get some new ones”, May suggested, face still in worry over the loss, “I lost my doll. Do you think we can get a new one? Or go back, and get her?”

“You should talk to the supply team, maybe they'll find one.”

“I'd love that. And they could get some hinges for Abraham.” Despite the mess they were in Eric had to chuckle.

“Abraham told you that?”

“Yep, he even told me I should tell you to get some hinges.”

“We'll find some along the way.”

Carol sat next to them. “We're going to have stew and peas.”

“Yuck, I hate peas. I'd rather have some cookies.”

“Do you see any cookie dough here, or an oven, young lady?”, May shook her head.

“Ask Aaron if he has some beef jerky when he comes back.”

“Do you think he'll share?”

“If you don't give him an apple”, Eric said. The girl started to giggle, but then she stopped. A thoughtful expression on her face.

“Where are mom and dad?” Eric and Carol exchanged glances.

“Sweetheart, you'll stay with me a little while, okay?”, Carol said. The girl nodded.

“Here have some stew”, Eric handed her a bowl.

“Can we have alphabet soup next time, so I can spell my name?”

“We'll see.”

 

Glenn had shoveled most of the loosened soil into the grave.

“We have to keep an eye on him. This won't be easy”, Rick glanced with worry at the younger man.

“He told me he only cared for her. Not himself”, Daryl added.

“I know. It's already morning, but we should try to get some rest. We should keep watch. The explosions drew far too many walkers. This afternoon we'll find a new neighborhood with houses, further away from Alexandria. We can't stay in the open like this. Let's go to Glenn.”

The Asian threw the shovel away. “I don't even have her whole body to bury”, his voice hitched.

“We found a place to stay. At a barn. May's there as well.” By the mention of his daughter Glenn picked up the shovel and followed them.

Most of them were already sleeping. Michonne sat crossed-legged in front of the barn. Her katana laying on her knees.

“We're turning in. Do you need someone to take over?”

“No need.”

They made their way into the barn. Glenn leaned against the wall. Pulling the blankets over his children Rick laid down next to them. Daryl shrugged out off his vest. Balling it up, and resting his head on it.

The steady breathing of his boyfriend calmed Aaron down, but still he felt as if he could never sleep again. Every time closing his eyes he remembered her. Soon her face morphed into Eric's. Finally Aaron fell into a restless sleep.

 

To Glenn it felt like a part had died with him. Pain and anger raging through him. Why her? Why not someone else? Why so cruel? Should he have kept a closer eye on her? Again and again he heard her screaming. The world was closing in upon him. Getting harder and harder to breathe, as he saw them. All huddled together. What would he give to swap places with one of them. Deep down he knew it was a selfish thought. He knew what it meant to everyone else when their loved one died. But why her? Quietly he made his way to the backdoor. Making sure Michonne didn't see him slip away.

He didn't see any walkers. Her grave just a bloody heap of dirt. His legs gave away from under him, as sobs shook his body. Angrily he clawed into the earth. Screaming, wailing. All the pain coming out in raw screams. He didn't know how many hours had past, but the sun already stood high in the sky. The first day without her had reached noon. Wearily he stood up. Upon staggering to the barn slipping into the back door again, he saw May sit up.

“Dad...where's mom?”

He knelt down on the dusty ground. Putting his hands on her shoulder. Looking into her dark, scared eyes. What should he tell her? That her mother was dead? Gone? Just like that. No words came.

“Dad?”, fear now in her voice. Something scratched on the doors.

“Walkers!”, Michonne shouted.

Glenn led May to Enid, who had woken up from the commotion. “I want you to stay with Enid, okay?” May obeyed running into Enid's arms.

Without waiting for the others he rushed towards the door. Michonne stopped him.

“It's a large group. Wait for the others.”

“Let me go!”, he slipped through into the mob.

 

He took them down, one after the other. In this moment only walkers, and he himself existed. Swinging his blade their heads rolled onto the ground. Spraying blood. The rage made him strong, giving him total focus.

“Glenn...”, tearing of flesh, and snapping of bones next to him. For a moment he thought it was Maggie. Then it hit him like a brick. Maggie was gone, and would never come back. Fighting by his side was Michonne. Never would he see his wife again. He stumbled through the mob. Hacking away at them. Moving west. Luring them away from the barn.

“Come here! Come!”, he shot into the air. Wasting precious bullets. He didn't care as long as they would follow. Rick rushed towards them.

“Glenn, stop. You're going to get yourself killed.” Glenn walked backwards. Taking big steps. Picking up speed as he slipped down the ravine. Loosing his footing he crashed onto something hard. Water trickling beside his head coming from a small creak. The walkers stumbled downhill, bumping into him.

 

The others followed seeing them tumble down, walker covering their friend. Rick trained his gun on the ever moving mob. He couldn't take a shot. Only Daryl could use his arrows. Michonne still had her katana in her hand. Blood gleaming on the sheath.

“We have to go down there!”, Aaron was held back by Eric, waiting for Rick's orders.

He sadly shook his head. “We can't save him.”

Stubbornly Aaron freed himself from Eric's grip. “We already lost enough people. I'm not letting anybody else die.”

Before anyone could react Aaron headed down the ravine. Skidding to a halt at the stream. Fall cushioned by a walker. Glenn was caught in the middle, fighting his way through. Aaron saw his face morphing into Maggie's, and then into Eric's. He stabbed them shoving them away. When one jumped Aaron from behind. The foul breath ghosting over his face. Its teeth setting into his neck. Breaking his skin. He clenched his teeth for the pain that would follow, but suddenly the walker let go. Aaron staggered away rubbing his neck. An arrow stuck in the head of the roamer. Glenn had killed the rest, but stayed put at the side of the creak.

“Let's go”, Aaron panted, hoping that he hadn't been bitten. His neck tingling.

“No!”, Glenn angrily said. Wearily Aaron tried to help Glenn up. But to his surprise the younger man had enough energy to shove him away. Standing up his eyes gleam darkly at Aaron.

“It's your fault. You were next to her. Why didn't you save her!” Aaron didn't let it sink in. They had more urgent matters to tend to right now. He heard the tell-tale moaning from the creatures. Twigs and branches snapping as they moved towards them.

“I'm saving you now! Move!”, he grabbed Glenn by the upper arm.

“Fuck, what's the hold-up down there? They're closing in on you”, Daryl hollered from above. Eric peered down. Paler than usual. He sure hoped it wasn't an indication that he had been bitten. He pulled Glenn along. Making their way towards the slope. Glenn struggled free, and shoved him again. This time Aaron lost balance on the slippery stones. Falling down. Pain exploded in his head and arm. He could see Glenn's angry face slowly fading out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I sure hope Aaron is going to be okay...
> 
> Thanks for reading, and a Happy New Year to all of you :)


	5. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back at the chapters I posted, I really had no chill when I wrote this. So much drama everywhere. I hope this chapter can all give you time to catch your breath...at least for a little bit.
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Are you fucking kidding me!”, Daryl placed another arrow into his crossbow moving down the ravine. Closely followed by Rick and Eric.

A dark puddle formed on the stones beneath Aaron's head. Seeping into the water. Mixing into a light red. Rick trained the gun on Glenn, and twisted the man's arm on his back. Leading him up the ravine.

Aaron's skin had turned pale. Eyes closed. With trembling fingers Eric searched for the pulse. A few terrifying seconds later he detected a steady pounding. Aaron's neck showed another imprint of teeth that had heavily bruised, but not broken the skin.

Softly Eric shook him. “Aaron...Aaron, wake up.” But his boyfriend didn't stir.

“We have to go”, Daryl picked Aaron up as if he weighed nothing. They make their way towards the barn.

Michonne, Carl, Abraham, Tara, Eugene and Carol finish off the last walkers. Carefully Daryl laid Aaron on the soft ground. Rosita already pulled out the penlight. Checking Aaron's eyes. Eric noticed that his boyfriend's arm was not in its right angle.

 

“You nearly got Aaron killed because of your carelessness. And then you have the nerve to shove him whilst being under attack. This is a death sentence here.”

Glenn said nothing. Looking onto the ground. Rick had to keep himself under control, but he was this close to hurting Glenn. This time he spoke calmer, with more composure.

“I, of all people, get how you're feeling right now. But you have a child who depends on you. You have to be more careful.”

The Asian looked up. “Like you were when Lori died?”, his voice cold. Rick took a deep breath. Silently counting down from ten. As not to hurt a member of his group.

“Aaron tried to save you. We all thought you wouldn't make it, but he went anyway.”

“He didn't save Maggie.”

“But he saved you twice. I know you don't see your life worth much, right now, but think about May. She's lost her mother. Do you think she wants to lose her father as well?” The younger man fell silent.

 

Rosita and Tara went through their supplies.

“Not much left. We need to go on a supply run”, Rosita put the few pills, they had left, back into the bag.

“Didn't Rick want to find a new place?”

“We can't with Aaron's head injury. Especially not when he hasn't woken up yet.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Too soon to say. I get that Glenn's grieving, but why on earth did he push Aaron? Now we're down another fighter.”

Tara wanted to reply when they spotted May.

“Do you know where mom is? Is she on a supply run? Are mom and dad having a row?” Tara and Rosita exchanged uneasy glances.

“I don't know. But I'll talk to your dad, okay honey?”

May nodded, in her hand she held a comic. “Dad wanted to read it to me.”

“Come here”, Rosita patted the ground next to her, “I'll read it to you.”

 

Making her way through camp she spotted Glenn, who sat a few feet away from the barn. Tara would have done the same. In the barn was a very worried, very angry Eric.

Only once had she seen him go completely nuts. That was when Tobias, and a few others had beaten Aaron up for leading the wolves to Alexandria. Eric took the group by surprise, and managed to knock them out cold before Morgan and Rick came to his aid. Needless to say Tobias had kept his distance. Helping eagerly when the couple needed some tools, or other things from the construction site. No, she didn't want to be the target of Eric's rage.

“Why the hell didn't you tell May what happened?” Wearily Glenn rubbed his eyes. “I just couldn't...okay I couldn't.”

“She deserves to know.”

“How can I tell her that her mother is dead now...gone?”

“It doesn't change what happened”, Tara said softer now, sitting down next to him. “Should I tell her?”

“No! Don't tell her”, Glenn angrily said.

“May's smart. Just as smart as you are. She'll find it out eventually. Do you want her to find it out by herself? Or tell her? Just think about it.”

Glenn shook his head, eyes fixed to the ground. She decided to leave him alone.

 

“We take the main road, Clear it from walkers, and find some cars. Then we get the hell away from here. All the walkers have been drawn to Alexandria. This group is not strong enough to survive on the outside. We need to set up our base somewhere”, Rick spread the map out. “We'll take this road first thing tomorrow. Michonne, Daryl, you're with me. After finding a car we'll drive back, and pick the others up. Is Aaron fit to go tomorrow?”

“He ain't woken up yet. Too soon to say”, Daryl looked pissed, “What are we gonna do about Glenn?”

“Keep an eye on him. Like always”, noticing Daryl's look Rick added, “We can't do much more.”

“May is in good hands with me, for the time being”, Carol said, “She's a strong girl. She'll make it.”

“Rosita mentioned the lack of supplies”, Abraham threw in.

“When we find a place to stay we'll worry about that. There's still enough for tonight.”

 

Aaron opened his eyes. The whole world consisting out of blurry lights and colors. He blinked a few times. And soon edges started to faded in. His head pounded and, for a few precious moments, Aaron thought he had a hangover. Looking up he saw the ceiling covered in cobwebs. This wasn't his house.

Again the ever so urgent worry “Where is Eric?” foremost on his mind, and with a start he sat up. Instantly the pounding multiplied. Edges fading out again. He nearly fell back because his arm didn't seem to offer much support, and felt unnaturally heavy. Soon he started to feel sick, but struggled against it. His first priority consisted in checking on Eric.

After a few seconds he got his bearings back. His boyfriend leaned against the wall. Eyes closed, a shotgun laying on his lap. He looked tried, and worn out. Dry blood on Eric's light blue shirt, and on his hands. But no bite that had to count for something.

Then he remembered the walker's teeth on his neck. Bringing his pounding arm up to his neck turned out to be harder than it should have been. Finally his befuddled brain noticed that he wore a cast.

Aaron decided to find someone else to confirm, or deny his suspicion about the bite. No need to wake Eric. He sure needed the sleep. The further he walked the more it seemed a real possibility that he had been bitten. Would explain why he stumbled most of the time, nearly hitting the door, instead of going through it.

 

Carol sat at the fire place. Upon hearing his footsteps she turned around. “Aaron, what are you doing on your feet? You should be resting”, she steadied him, and helped him sit down at the fireplace.

Daryl had been sharpening a few branches to use as arrows. “Glad you woke up”, he said.

“Have I been bitten?”, Aaron asked, nervously playing with a loose thread on his cast. “'Cause I think a roamer got me in the neck. That's why Eric was watching me with a gun, right?", his blue eyes pleading with them. “Because I have to...you... promise me you'll keep Eric safe. You both have to promise.”

Carol gave him a warm smile. Touched by the concern over his boyfriend. “You haven't been bitten. A walker came close, but Daryl got him before he could take a bite.”

“Really?”, Aaron asked amazed. Relief flooding his whole body. “Thanks, Daryl.” His friend nodded, busily sharpening the branch.

“He was worried”, Carol said, voice just above a whisper. As if letting him in on a great secret. “Now where have you left your other half?”

“Eric was sleeping. I didn't want to wake him up.” Carol nodded, pulling out a small torch shining it directly into his eyes. Pain exploded in his head, and he felt deathly sick again. Sluggishly he tried to bat Carol's hand away. Missing her hand mere inches.

“What did you do that for...”, he managed before swallowing heavily. Trying to stand up, but the world decided to take a spin, and he would have collapsed if not strong arms had steadied him. He couldn't hold the bile anymore, and threw up. Fortunately he hadn't eaten today, so he soon only dry-heaved. After the spell had finished someone helped him up. Upon feeling the leather underneath his fingertips Aaron knew it had to be Daryl. They helped him lean against a tree. Slowly the world stopped turning.

“Sorry about that”, Carol said, in the same cheery-false voice Aaron's secondary school nurse had used, whenever he had been in a scuffle, and she checked him for sprains or breaks.

“Sorry, but am I having a hangover here, or why is my head hurting like hell?” Daryl and Carol exchanged glances. Usually Aaron excelled with reading people, but today everything seemed muddled and confusing.

“You don't remember?”, Daryl asked a hint alarmed.

“Ahem...a walker tried to attack me...and something about Maggie....Oh God...Alexandria burnt down....”, images flashed in front of his eyes.

“You don't have a hangover. You hit your head pretty hard. It's a concussion.”

“A concussion...”, that made sense.

 

“What on earth are you doing outside, Aaron?”, a voice thundered. An amused flitted over his friends' faces.

“Boy, someone is angry at you”, Daryl laughed. Secretly glad to not be at the receiving end of it. Very soon he had found out that both Aaron and Eric had a temper. Rick even mentioned, that if he had known how dangerous these two really were, he wouldn't have decked Aaron the first time he had seen him.

“Not bad enough that we are currently homeless, and you get yourself injured because again you were playing hero. Now you have to walk around, and be potential roamer bait.”

“I'm sorry”, Aaron offered. His boyfriend knelt down, and hugged him carefully. The other two left the couple alone. Eric gently lifted Aaron's chin. Forcing him to look directly at Eric.

“I thought I lost you....I thought you were gonna die. Don't ever do that to me again.” Tears welled up in his eyes, but he swallowed hard. The last thing he needed was Aaron being worried, or feeling guilty because of him. A tear spilled over, and Aaron tried to wipe it away. But missed.

“Wow this concussion destroyed a totally romantic moment”, a smile tugging his lips.

“You don't need a concussion for that.”

“I'm just going to ignore that you are being mean to your boyfriend who is within the throes of death.” Eric shook his head in amusement.

“And I made Daryl laugh”, Aaron announced giving Eric a smug look. He rose his eyebrows in surprise.

“You managed to do while having a concussion?”

“Yep”, he raised his hand to high five, but stopped in the middle of the motion. Looking dazed at his cast. “How did this happen?”

“You don't remember?”

“No.”

“I'll tell you later. You should lie back down.”

“Okay.” Eric helped him. Sending everything into a spinning motion.

“Don't faint on me”, Eric notices how pale, and quiet his boyfriend had become. Slowly they made their way back to the barn. “We'll talk later. Get some rest for now.”

Aaron didn't have to be told twice. Wearily he tried to get hold of Eric's hand. “Can you stay?”

“Of course. I'm not going anywhere”, he laughed softly.

“What's so funny?”

“The last time you were in this barn you got knocked unconscious by Rick.”

“Not my lucky barn.”

“You could say so”, he leaned forward, kissing his forehead. “Now sleep.”

 

Everything seemed peaceful. The roads were covered in brown leaves. Autumn sending a chill on this particulate morning. They hadn't encountered any walkers today, or last night.

“I see a car a few miles ahead.”

“We won't fit in there”, Daryl examined the car.

“There has to be a second one around here”, Rick surveyed the area.

“Problem is that we used all cars for supply runs. Parked them near Alexandria”, Daryl pointed out.

“Let's keep on looking”, Rick finished the walker off that had been caught in its seatbelt, and found the keys laying on the seat.

“I found another car”, Michonne headed off, taking the corner leading towards a smaller lane. “Let's drive them back.”

 

Sunbeams stole their way through the cracks of the wooden barn. Painting soft lines on the sleeping figure of Aaron. Eric heard cars in the distance. Relief flooded him. Rick wanted to search for a new home. Now that they'd found cars they wouldn't have to go on a hike. Knowing Aaron, his boyfriend would have convinced the group he felt totally fine. Which would have ended with him collapsing, in the middle of their hike, in the worst moment possible.

But the relief was short-lived. It troubled him that Aaron still slept. Normally he would be up and about. Always on the move. Needing to get out before he suffocated. That's why he had taken up the work with the NGO. And even now he couldn't bear to stay in Alexandria. Needing to get away from the walls. Sleep under the sky. Feel the danger. No, Aaron wasn't a nine-to-five-person. But he wasn't a soldier either. A dilemma that caught up with him again and again.

Softly Eric shook Aaron's shoulder. Soon his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey...we need to go. Rick got a few cars.” Sluggishly his boyfriend sat up. Nearly collapsing onto the ground again.

“Aaron, are you alright?”, Eric steadied the man. Squinting Aaron tried to focus on the face in front him.

“Are you still seeing double?”

“I remember what happened”, he broke eye contact. Silence nearly suffocating both of them.

“It wasn't your fault, Aaron.”

“No, Glenn is right. I could have saved her. I should have.”

Eric shook his head. “Aaron, I know you don't believe me, but it wasn't your fault. You did the best you could. Even put yourself in danger. You did the best you could.”

“Sometimes doing your best just doesn't cut it”, he drew his knees to his body. Laying his head on the cast. Having spent the last 10 years with Aaron, his boyfriend recognized the mood. Anything he said now wouldn't be heard.

“We need to go. The others are waiting.” Aaron didn't move, eyes still fixed on an imaginary spot on the wooden wall.

Old hinges squeaked when Daryl came in. “Hey, I know this ain't spaghetti, and near as good as you cook, but I brought some soup”, clearly uncomfortable Daryl sat down next to them. Noticing the frosty vibe. “You should both eat summit.”

“Thanks”, Eric smiled, taking the bowl handing it over to Aaron who didn't budge from his position.

“Are you still feeling sick?”, Daryl inquired. His friend didn't answer. Considering Aaron didn't shut up most of the time this was worrying.

“He's just sulking”, Eric loudly said. “Aaron, for the love of God, you're gonna eat or else...” Daryl flinched. It downright terrified him when Eric was like this.

“I'm not hungry”, Aaron muttered.

“Tough...Now eat.” Reluctantly Aaron obeyed, eating a few spoonfuls. Soon he ate slower. The spoon slipping from his hand. Eric took the bowl from him before precious food would end up the ground.

“You want some more?”

“No.”

“Okay, Daryl?”

“Nah, I'm good.” Eric took the rest. They helped Aaron up who still was unsteady on his feet.

Upon seeing Glenn, standing in front of the barn, Eric clenched his fists reaching towards his gun. Aaron laid his hand on his boyfriend's arm. Shaking his head slightly.

 

It was early afternoon when they spotted a group of houses. Cars had been parked around the small community. Counting 20 houses. Standing next to each other. A main road going through the center, and small lanes branching off. A crane towered above the houses. Rumble on a large construction site.

“Jackpot”, Abraham slowed down.

“We even have a wall for protection”, Eugene stated.

Aaron slowly opened his eyes. He had leaned against Eric for most of the journey, using him as a pillow. His head still pounded, but at least he wasn't feeling sick anymore

“You think there are still people living here?”

“We'll find out”, Daryl gripped his crossbow. Rick had slowed down as well. Stepping out of the car, and motioning them to follow him.

“We're going in. Enid, can you stay back with the girls?” She nodded.

“Okay, Aaron are you good to fight?” Still pale, but steady on his feet, Aaron gave him a thumbs up.

“Be careful. Watch your backs the whole time. If someone approaches you with a gun don't hesitate, shoot.” Wearily they all nodded in acknowledgement.

 

Everything seemed untouched. The paint still blazing white. Small picket fences standing in the soil. Not enough to keep any walker away, but enough to set a psychological barrier. Only the lawns were long and unkempt.

“This is a fucking posh joint”, Daryl complained.

“You could spike the fences, and hang a few birds and animals on the veranda. Then the posh feeling will go away.” He turned in surprise to Aaron who hadn't smiled at all. Delivering this whole speech in an eerie stoic way.

“I guess I'll do that on your doorsteps.”

“No way, Daryl”, Eric said, “Different house, same rules.”

The hunter threw his hands in the air. As if to surrender. “Okay, okay no need to go all housewife on us.”

“He threw me out once because I left the apartment in a state of mess”, Aaron added.

“It was very messy”, Eric pointed out. His boyfriend shrugged his shoulders.

Peering into an open house he trained his gun, and entered. Feet making next to no noise on the wooden floor. A thin veil of dust on the furniture. In the middle of the room was a couch. Aaron picked up the small jacket that had been draped over the back. It felt stiff in his hands. He could see traces of dried blood that started to disintegrate, as he shook the cloth. Little, brown flakes falling on the floor.

Abraham moved towards the next room. Pushing the door open with the butt of his rifle. The double bed was made. Carefully he walked to the window. Pulling the curtain away. Nothing seemed amiss. Everything peaceful, but as quiet as a cemetery. Daryl opened the shelves in the kitchen. A smile lit up his face when he saw the canned goods and packed noodles.

“We've got food for a while if every house is as well stocked as this.”

Eric stood in front of the fridge. “I probably shouldn't open it.” A muffled laughed came from the corner.

“I'd love to see your face if several levels of decay welcome you.”

“Can't be as bad as the that time in Africa when all the food supplies were spoiled.” Upon hearing that Aaron turned a shade paler, and Eric moved away from the fridge. Not wanting to risk making his boyfriend sick. Daryl hadn't said anything but gave them a curious look.

“Another time, when Aaron isn't so unsteady on his feet”, Eric promised him the full story.

“Bedroom is clear”, Abraham hollered from the hall.

“Bathroom is clear as well”, Aaron said.

Abraham walked towards the living room. Examining the wall. “What a relief”, he finally said, “No license plates staring at me.”

“Oh, I saw some on the cars parked outside”, an innocent smile spread on Aaron's face.

“Don't even think of it”, Abraham angrily said.

“What if I get you your damn hinges.” The man narrowed his eyes.

“Heads up, Aaron”, Daryl broke their intense stare throwing a bottle of pills Aaron's way.

“Thanks”, he quickly downed a painkiller hoping to get rid of these headaches soon.

“Aaron, come here for a moment”, Eric said, smiling sheepishly.

Holding something in his hands. He turned his head. Daryl and Abraham were currently checking the bathroom downstairs for medication.

“What is it?”, Aaron asked.

“Look what I found”, triumphantly Eric showed him a jar filled with brown powder.

“Coffee!”, Aaron shouted.

Eric laid his hand on Aaron's mouth. “Hush, don't let them know. This will be our little secret.”

“Aaron, Eric?”, Daryl returned to the kitchen. Glaring at them standing side by side, leaning against the kitchen counter. Holding hands, flashing far too innocent looks.

“What's the matter?”, he asked.

“Nothing”, Aaron shrugged, his boyfriend giggling.

“Are you having one of your lovebird moments?”

“I think we're far cuter than lovebirds, don't you think so, Daryl?”, Aaron asked.

His friend shook his head. “You don't even know how a lovebird looks like, city boy. I'll get you a lovebird couple when you marry.”

“We'll call one of them Daryl, and the other will be Rick”, Eric grinned.

“Let's go upstairs”, Abraham interrupted them before Daryl could get over the shock, and find his words.

As Daryl turned his back on them, Eric quickly stuffed the coffee into his backpack.

 

The first door led to a room painted half in pink. A pail of dry paint stood on the floor. Everything was covered in foil.

“Shame, would have been a nice room for a girl”, Abraham picked up the doll that had sat on the windowsill. Brushing her hair back. Eric and Aaron exchanged glances. Was Abraham a father?

“Maybe we'll find the fucking pony with it”, Daryl hissed. This house was far too posh for him.

“You could sleep in the pony's stable. Would fit your living habits better.”

“Watch it”, Daryl growled at Aaron, who tried hard not to laugh.

“Come on, let's go check the other rooms out.”

 

Eric opened the door to the closet. It was dark inside. He knelt down, and placed his backpack next to him. Searching for his torch that had slipped underneath all the other things he was carrying. Something rustled. Upon looking up he couldn't see anything, and blamed it on nerves.

Aaron had checked the bedroom, and wanted to have a look at the closet. Maybe he would find a screwdriver in there, and demonstrate to Abraham just how long all the walls would remain bare.

He saw Eric kneeling next to the open door. He seemed to be in search for something, when Aaron heard a shuffling. His boyfriend looked up, but soon returned to the task at hand. Had it come from the closet?

Aaron walked slowly towards the dark room. Gun already trained when he saw a bony hand descending from the room. Wanting to grab Eric.

“Eric!”, in a fluid motion Aaron slung his arm around Eric's chest. Pulling him away. Heavy boots pounded on the floor. The moaning felt like it would very nearly split his still throbbing head. The teeth snapping at them. Both of them crashed to the floor knocking hard on the surface. Aaron quickly sat up again wanting to pull Eric further away when the roamer lounged forward biting into his cast. Angrily he pulled the trigger. The bullet missed, and broke through the wall. Eric groped for his weapon when Aaron shoved the thing away. Made his way towards the creature.

“This. Is. The. Third. Fucking. Time. I've. Been. Mistaken. For. A. Chewing. Toy.” With each word his boot came down on the skull of the walker. Smashing the disintegrated blood, and flesh into the wooden boards.

“Aaron”, he spun around upon hearing Eric's voice.

“Are you alright?”, he asked willing the vertigo to go away, but losing the battle. Holding Eric's sleeves tightly.

“Yes I'm fine, are you?”

“I...”, everything seemed to be spinning harder now.

 

Eric noticed how quickly Aaron turned shades paler. Now as white as the wall behind him. His grip tightening on Eric's sleeves. As he struggled to remain balance. “Let's sit you down”, carefully he knelt guiding Aaron to the ground.

A few feet away from the bleeding mash of the roamer Daryl pulled out his knife. Slicing the cast open. Impatiently pulling the plaster apart. Wincing Aaron tried to pull his injured arm away. His friend kept a steady grip. Aaron's whole arm was in an alarming variety of colors, but no bite. Daryl again looked at the cast. The ugly imprint of black teeth on the white material. But not broken through the last layer of plaster.

“I'll ask Rosita to make you an extra thick cast, so you'll be protected”, relief flooded his voice.

“I'll fetch Rosita”, Abraham said, “The rest of the house is clear.” They heard the door swing shut, but a few seconds later Abraham returned.

“We may have a problem.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always wear a cast to the ZA. See this story even has an educational purpose.


	6. Death Shall Be No More

 “I'll fetch Rosita”, Abraham said, “The rest of the house is clear.” They heard the door swing shut, but a few seconds later Abraham returned.

“We may have a problem.”

Abraham, Daryl, Aaron and Eric rushed outside. On the street a group of walkers were stumbling towards them. Some even came from the balconies of several houses. Crashing down onto the ground.

“How did they get up there?”, Aaron asked, cradling his arm in front of his chest.

“Must be the fire exit stairs”, Eric said, “Stay back, you can't fight with your arm.”

“I'm not going to let you run into danger.”

“You are injured. You can't fight.”

“I thought I lost you, Eric. That roamer nearly got you.”

“I know”, he leaned in kissing Aaron's lips. “Stay safe, I need to help the others.”

With that he rushed towards their group. Aaron gritted his teeth, and took his gun. Stretching the injured arm. Pain flared up, but this was not the time to stay back. He joined the others.

In the heat of the battle nobody noticed May who rushed towards them. Heading towards the balcony, and using her gun. Sasha had given the girls target practice, and it turned out May was a natural. She finished most of the walkers off on the balcony. When a walker grabbed her by the arm.

“Help! Help!”, the grown-ups looked up noticing her. Glenn turned pale, and Michonne raced up the stairs. Slaying the walking dead left and right. She hacked the creature's arm off who had May in its grip.

“I'll throw her down, you catch her!”, Michonne hollered, picking May up. Glenn caught his little girl. Michonne and Rick finished the rest of the walkers off.

“What did you do that for?!”, Glenn shouted. They hadn't seen him being this angry with May before. The girl tried to take a step back. “You could have died!” he shook her hard.

Enid and Judith arrived, both panting. “I'm so sorry”, Enid tried to catch her breath, “She said she needed to go. So we went outside, and she started to run towards you.”

“We are going to talk about this”, he let her go.

May lowered her head. The tears starting to drip on the ground. “I wanted to make you happy, dad. I wanted to make it up to you because mom left because she's angry with me, isn't she?”, her voice broke, and she sobbed harder. Tears shaking her tiny frame.

Glenn said nothing. Froze at her sight. Subconsciously taking a step back. Everyone else remained at their spot.

Aaron tucked the gun in his waistband, and took May by the hand kneeling down.

“I need your help, May. Can you help me?”, the girl rubbed her eyes with her sleeve,

“Yeah, I can.”

“Good, because Rosita needs to make me a new cast.”

“What happened to the old one?”

“I broke it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and I think Rosita would like a little help from you as well. Would you do us the favor?”

“Sure.”

“What about me?”, Judith asked.

“Of course we need your help as well. Shall I let you both in on a little secret?”

“Yes”, the girls huddled closer. Dried blood coating their hair. Tracks of tears on their faces. Guns still in their hands. “When my cast has dried I would be really glad if you could draw something on it because Eric can't draw.”

“Really, Aaron?”, came a fed up reply from his boyfriend.

They started to giggle. A sound Rick always gave up on first. How could these children still laugh after all the horror they had been through in these last days? But they did, and unlike Aaron's laugh, it seemed real. They could heal.

Judith took Eric's hand. “Don't worry we'll show you.”

 

“Does it hurt?”, May asked, her dark eyes widened in a mix of awe and worry. 

“Yes, but not much.”

“Did you cry?”, Judith inquired.

“Nearly.”

“How did it happen?”

“A walker barged into me.”

Daryl came in carrying a handful of supplies. Placing them on the counter. “Tara said you could use these.”

Eric stood a few feet away. Worried about Aaron. He should be used to it by now. Since he had met Aaron he had been worried for his safety. Even when they had just been friends. Their work had been dangerous. Already then the fear that he would lose him forever.

Rosita had found all the necessary materials. She pulled the stockinette over his arm, not missing Aaron turning paler. Then she used the padding line wrapping it around.

“Okay girls, now you can help me”, she gave each girl a line of plaster. “Dunk it into water, and dry it on the edge of the bucket. And then you can place it on his arm. Be careful because Aaron's arm is hurting.”

“Here”, May handed Rosita a line of plaster who carefully applied it on the padding. With her tongue sticking out in concentration she placed her next plaster onto the position Rosita had shown her.

“It didn't hurt, did it?”, she anxiously asked.

“No, I didn't feel a thing.”

“Good”, she brushed her hair out of her face. Leaving plaster on the dried blood in her thin strands of hair.

“Where did you get the water?”, Rosita gave Aaron a strange look.

“From the tap”, Rosita answered.

“The water is working?”

“Yeah, I told you before.”

“You did? Well that's good news.”

“Warm or cold water?”, Judith carefully slid the plaster on the edge of the bucket.

Rosita rolled her eyes. “You've got me.” A collective sigh went round.

“That looks good”, Rick laid his hand on his daughter's shoulder, “You're in good hands, Aaron.” A real smile spread across Aaron's face. He felt relieved, a few hours earlier Rick had though that the younger man had forgotten how to do that.

“They're very good nurses.”

He placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder, leaning in. “Thanks for bringing them here. Glenn's not taking this well.”

“No problem.”

Rick turned to the whole group sitting at the table. “Tonight we're gonna stay here.”

This cheered everyone up.

“Have we finished?”, May looked skeptical at the plastered cast.

“Not just yet”, Rosita took another bandage wrapping it around the arm. “Now I want you to wear this cast. I'm emphasizing this same cast, for four weeks. Can you manage that?”

“Come on, it was an accident. Thank you Rosita, and thank you girls.”

“When can we draw on it?”

“In two days”, Rosita quickly answered, “Don't let it get wet, and keep it still. Best as you can.”

“Thanks, Ma'am”, Aaron said, and Rosita's eyes narrowed.

Rick shook his head good-naturedly. “You can take the bed, Eric. He needs to rest”, both of them looked at Aaron.

Still smiling they could see how he held himself. Grimacing from time to time when the pain got too much. How pale he was. Exhaustion on his face, and how he shrunk away from the last ray of sunlight.

“Dad, I'm hungry.”

“Me too”, the children's hands were caked with blood and white plaster.

“I'll cook”, Eric stood up.

“Can we help you?”, May asked excitedly.

“First we'll wash your hands. Come on”, Rick chased them down the hall. Turning the faucet on. Letting water run over their skin. Rubbing all the dirt and grime off. He felt sick when he saw how the water turned red against the white china.

 

Aaron had buried his head in his hands. Propping his elbows on the counter. Closing his eyes he hoped to escape the bright light.

“So again, a near death experience?”, Daryl asked.

“Have had a lot of them lately.”

“Ask Glenn”, they both laughed.

“Maggie told me about them...”, Aaron trailed off. Gazing down on the marmor pattern of the clean counter. He could see the reflection of his face in the material.

Maggie was gone. Just like that. He had liked her since he first set eyes on her. Standing there with a smile on her face amongst the hardship. “They were the first I talked to. Sasha and Maggie...”, he ran imaginary lines on the marmor. “Now they're dead.”

“You saved us. If it hadn't been for you...I don't think we would have made it. Look at all of them. Look at Judith and May. They wouldn't be here right now if it hadn't been for you.”

Aaron rubbed his forehead, watching Eric bustle in the kitchen. “He almost got bitten today.”

“But you watched his back. He's alive, thanks to you.”

“For how long?”

“Listen, Eric's alive that's all that matters for now.”

“When have you become so damn optimistic?”

“Since now. Don't tell anyone.” A shadow of a smile went over his face. His eyes slowly drooping.

“Come on let's get you to bed.” Standing up led to a sickening spinning motion. He tried to counterbalance with his bandaged arm. The still wet material slipped on the smooth surface. Causing Aaron to fall. Strong arms caught him.

“You alright to go?”, Daryl asked unusual soft.

“Yeah, just got dizzy.” They entered the bedroom downstairs.

“Could you get the curtains?”, he shielded his eyes.

“Sure”, to Aaron's relief the room darkened.

 

“All set and ready. Put the plates on the table.”

The girls scuffled across the room. “Eric, do you think the others will like it?”

“Sure, they will. We cooked it. Why shouldn't they like it?” Both children snickered, and then went to the others telling them that dinner was ready.

“How innocent they still seem. After all this, and they care about eating”, Carol joined him putting noodles on the plates.

“Do you think we'll stay here?”, Eric asked the woman.

“I don't think we have any other option. We have children, Aaron is injured, and Glenn is a wild card right now. If we stay here we can defend this place. Improve the wall. Make this our home.”

“I'd really like that. Carol, could you do me a favor...”, the woman tasted the sauce. Placing the wooden spoon beside the pot she turned her head. “Yes?”

“The walker who bit Aaron's cast, it nearly got me. If it hadn't been for Aaron I wouldn't be standing here right now. Could you make sure that when anything happens to me Aaron doesn't do anything stupid? Just take care of him.” Tears stood in his eyes as he placed the plate onto the table. “Make sure he doesn't break.”

Carol pulled him into a hug. “I will make sure, and Daryl as well. Nothing will happen to him.” She carefully wiped a tear away from his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“We're all family here. You aren't outsiders anymore.”

“You don't know how much that means to us”, Eric gave one of his brilliant smiles that even outshone Aaron's. He wiped the remaining tears away with the back of his hand.

“We asked Daryl, and he'll come in a sec, but Aaron said he isn't hungry”, May informed them.

Carol gave Eric the bowl of soup he had made for his boyfriend. “Take care of him. I'll handle this.” He gave her a nod of gratitude, and slipped into the bedroom.

 

Through the wall they could both hear the comforting chatter from the kitchen. Warm light creeping from under the door into the room.

Aaron sat up, stretching his hand out, and catching Eric's. Pulling him towards the bed. He sat down on the side. Placing the bowl onto the small table next to the bed. Aaron laid his head on Eric's lap.

“My head hurts”, Aaron complained, pulling his legs closer to his chest.

Running his fingers through Aaron's curls Eric felt the warmth coming from his boyfriend. He lay a hand on Aaron's chest. Feeling his beating heart pounding in a steady reassuring rhythm.

In that moment he selfishly hoped that he would die first, and not Aaron. Because he couldn't bear to lose him. Then he remembered how bad Aaron had felt today when he pulled Eric away from the walker. It had been a close call. Leaving Eric shaken.

“Are you okay?”, Aaron's concerned voice broke the silence.

“You nearly got bit because of my stupidity”, Eric sobbed.

“Hey...you are here that's all that matters”, Aaron repeated Daryl's words, realizing only now that his friend had been right. Nothing else mattered.

Eric nodded wiping his tears away. “You should eat something.”

“I'm not hungry. Have it yourself.”

“Nice try, Aaron. I would be touched by your concern, but you're just trying to distract me. You have to eat something.”

“I can eat tomorrow.”

“We've been over this. Now.”

“I'm feeling sick”, Aaron confessed. Him admitting it showed Eric how bad he must be feeling.

“Just a few spoons full.” He helped Aaron up handing him the bowl.

It seemed like a déjà vu. Him forcing Aaron to eat something, and Aaron still looking like death warmed over. Still, they had a safe place for the time being. He wouldn't keep watch this night.

After Aaron had eaten half Eric helped him take of his boots, and gave him painkillers. Aaron laid his head on Eric's shoulder resting his cast on his boyfriend's chest. Snuggling closer his fingers curled into Eric's shirt. The grip stayed even after he had drifted off to sleep. Eric slung his arm around Aaron's shoulder. He looked at Aaron's closed eyes. Drinking every detail in. His fingertips on Aaron's shirt. He could feel the rip of the material. The weight of the cast showing him how close he had come to lose Aaron. He placed a kiss on Aaron's head, and closed his eyes as well. Here next to his boyfriend he felt safe.

 

Glenn sat outside on the porch. Holding the pocket watch tightly in his hands.

Stepping outside Daryl spotted him. “You okay?”, he sat next to Glenn.

“I promised Hershel to take care of her”, his words lay heavy in the air. “Now she's dead”, angrily he stomped his foot on the wooden step.

“I lost Beth a few years earlier. You kept your wife safe. For all it's worth May knows who her mother is. You took good care of her.”

“Yet she's dead”, Glenn put the pocket watch on the ground crushing it with his boot. Glass cracking and crunching as he stood up. Heading into the dark.

Daryl bent down, and retrieved the memento. Wrapping it into his red handkerchief.

 

“Today we'll go through the area one more time. Aaron and the girls should stay here. The others are coming with me”, Rick stood in front of them. The whole group had crowed in the living room. “If everything is clear I want to stay here. Whatever happened in Alexandria won't happen here. When we've settled down we'll go to the ruins, and find out what the hell happened there. We'll make this place safe”.

While the others killed walkers that where still around their new home Judith and May were caught up in a loud game with the dolls they had found. Letting them run on the living room walls. Aaron's head ached from their ruckus.

“Girls, could you keep it down? We don't even know if there are more walkers in this neighborhood. I don't want you to draw them to us.”

“But they are running away from the walkers.”

Aaron sat down on the carpet next to May. “Who's running away?”

“Sasha, she's running away from the walker”, May pointed to Judith's doll who had once belonged to a child who loved the toy dearly. Patches had unraveled, and the wool came bulging out. One arm hanging on a thin thread. May's doll had darker skin, and seemed in better shape.

“Okay, but still keep it down. We don't want any other walker chasing Sasha around.”

“No, dad is making sure of that”, Judith showed him her doll. The doll Daryl had pulled out of the ruins, “That's dad”, she informed him.

Aaron looked at the remaining hair that hadn't been burnt away. Now hanging on the mouth instead of the head. Reminding him of Rick's beard. Eric had dubbed it The Outlaw Beard. “You know, I do see the resemblance.”

“Do you miss Sasha?”, May asked.

“Yeah, of course I do.”

May nodded, playing with the doll's hair. “I miss mom”, Aaron wasn't sure if she already knew what happened. Somebody would have to tell her eventually. And already he felt bad for the person who would have to tell a child that her mother was dead.

The girls carried on playing, in hushed voices now. His head still pounded, and Aaron made his way to the bathroom to fetch some more painkillers.

A sob came from behind the bathroom door. Aaron stopped dead in his tracks. Drawing his knife. Carefully opening the door.

“Oh, sorry”, Tara nervously wiped her eyes. She sat on the tiles. Leaning against the bathtub. Knees drawn towards her chest. Tears stained her shirt, and her eyes were rimmed red. Aaron lowered himself to the ground. Sitting opposite from her.

“I'm sorry about Denise. I should have said this far earlier. I'm very sorry for your loss, Tara. She was a brilliant person.”

A small smile spread on her face. Tears rolling down her cheeks. “You're the first one who said anything”, she stretched her arm out hand curled to a fist. Aaron leaned forward giving her a fist bump.

Soon her smile vanished, and she started to cry again. “I'm sorry you probably don't need this right now...”, she sobbed.

Aaron crawled to her side pulling her into a hug. Tara's tears soaking through his shirt. Her frame shaking, and her hands clutching him tightly. He remembered what he had lost. What they all had lost.

Again and again he saw Eric. Covered in blood. Eyes dim, skin white. Moaning, stumbling towards him, and himself driving a stake through Eric's brain. Aaron shook his head. The pain that resulted of this pulled him back to reality. Eric was alright. Tara wasn't.

“You know what? Denise deserves a grave. Let's give her a proper burial.” The girl nodded. Wiping snot and tears onto her shirt sleeve. He helped her up.

 

Judith and May assisted them in finding wooden boards and nails. Aaron hammered them together.

“Tara, what did Denise like?”, Judith asked coming back with a bucket of paint and painting brushes.

“She liked the sunrise.” The girls drew suns on the old wood.

Aaron carved in the names: Denise, Sasha, Morgan, Gabriel. Tara pushed them into the ground. They crowed around in a semi-circle. The four crosses appearing black against the bright sunlight.

“Who's gonna do the eulogy when Gabriel isn't here anymore?”, Judith asked.

“We could read something from the bible. Mom does it every night”, May suggested.

“Well, we don't have a bible”, Tara pointed out.

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man”, Aaron started, the others fell silent. “He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Tara stepped forward placing flowers next to Denise's cross. May and Judith had taken Aaron's hands.

“Thank you”, Tara kissed Aaron's forehead “Let's go inside again. Girls...”, the kids followed Tara,“You're coming?” Aaron cast one last look towards the makeshift cemetery, he could almost see Eric's cross standing there next to the others.

When Eric died then his grave had to be outside, or it would drive him mad with grief even if it helped Tara to have her girlfriend's grave so close to home. He couldn't bear it.

“Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain”, he whispered as he followed the others.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P Denise. She deserved a funeral on the show, still waiting for that.


	7. Paint Wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to the fluff.
> 
> Enjoy :)

_+++3 Weeks later+++_

Walking hand in hand with Carl, Enid made her way across the streets of their new home. Judith and May were skipping on the dusty pavement. Abraham and Rosita stood under the shade of an oak. Kissing passionately while Tara pulling Eugene away from the sight. Daryl and Aaron were busying themselves with skinning an animal they had shot. Eric, Carol, Rick, Michonne and Glenn were putting the last piece of the improved wall into place.

It reminded Enid of Alexandria. The years they had spent there. In peace, so peaceful that she sometimes had grown bored of the notion. Accompanying the others on supply runs or hunting helped. Her eyes fell on the graves.

“Are you alright?”, Carl pulled her out of her trance-like state.

“I just...I liked Maggie. She was family, and now she's dead”, Enid stopped, “Carl, I want to go outside again. Just for a while.”

He nodded. “I'm coming with you.” They made walked past the vehicles they had parked around the community. No walkers in sight.

“It's almost like the world has turned back to normal. Sometimes I think about it. How things would have been when this wouldn't have happened.”

“My mother would be alive”, Carl said, expression unreadable.

“My parents would be alive as well. We would have finished high school...”

“Yeah, doing job interviews”, Carl snorted.

“Mundane...But we wouldn't have met.”

He brushed her hair away, kissing her. “That would have been bad.”

“Worse than having a walker infested world?”

“Worse”, his finger traced her skin. Enid kissed him. Running her hands through his hair.

 

Abraham stepped into the street placing a bucket of paint beside him. “Girls, come here”, they stopped playing. Curiosity getting the better of them. “Let's paint your room pink.” They turned to each other in wonder.

“Are we allowed to do that?”, May asked.

“Sure you are”, upon seeing Aaron coming their way Abraham talked louder, “We don't need any godawful license plates to decorate a room.”

“I heard that”

Abraham picked up a painting brush throwing it to Aaron who caught it. “Make yourself useful, pretty boy. Ladies follow me.” Judith and May were rooming together, so they only had to paint one room.

“Now who wants to open the lid, and reveal the color?”

“Me!”, both cried jumping up and down.

“Both of you help me”, together they opened the bucket.

“Pink”, May exclaimed, “I love pink.”

“Where'd you get that?”, Aaron asked.

“Found it in one of the houses. Can you paint with your arm?”, Aaron nodded.

The girls took as much paint as their brushes could possibly carry. Pink paint splattering onto the floor. “Wow, look how it glows”, May exclaimed make a huge blot on the wall.

“We only have one bucket kiddo, and we want to cover all the walls with it. Try to spread the paint.”

“I think we should write all the names from the people who live here on one wall”, Judith suggested.

“But what if one of them dies?”

“Then we remember them. Carl told me that soldiers who die have their names written down on a statute. 'Cause they're heroes.”

“Okay, let's take this wall”, May wanted to start, but Judith stopped her. “No, we have to start at the top. What if more people come here?”

“But I can't reach the top”, May complained, “And I can only write my name.”

“You can sit on my shoulders”, Aaron lifted her up.

“M-A-Y”, she spelt, drawing the letters on the wall. A blotch of paint dripped down the brush into Aaron's hair.

“Ops...sorry Aaron” “You will be”, Aaron said in a low husky voice. May shrieked in delight. He let her down, and caught hold of her. Tickling her. The girl laughed loudly. Steps were heard on the stairs.

“Everything alright...”, Michonne stopped glaring at the half-finished wall, “Why do you let them paint the wall?”, she asked Abraham, “We don't even know how long we can stay here.”

“Ah, come on. Life's too short nowadays. Let them have their wish fulfilled.” Fondly he looked at the girls running around the room. Paint brushes poised in hand. Leaving the color on the wooden floor, and on each other.

Aaron caught Judith, and swung her around. She laughed loudly, rushing towards the bucket. Dipping her hands into the color, and went back to him. May joined them soon they fell to the floor covered in pink paint.

When Rick came to investigate he had never been so delighted by the sight he saw. It seemed like years had been taken off them. Judith and May looked like kids should look like. Carefree and innocent. Aaron seemed younger. The same smile and spark in his eyes, reminding Rick of the first time they had met.

“We are never going to get that paint washed out of their clothes”, Carol commented.

“Well, better covered in paint than blood”, Rick answered.

“Okay kids, that's enough. We need the paint on the wall not on you”, Abraham pulled them apart. Judith and May discussed the right spelling of the names.

Aaron grinned at Abraham. “You were right. This is so much better than license plates”, he took a step forward, stumbling, and accidentally on purpose landing his hand on Abraham's chest. Now a pink handprint on his black t-shirt. “What the hell...” Aaron giggled like mad. Nobody had ever seen him this gleefully.

“What in God's name do you....”

“You want some hinges with that?”, Aaron asked him with a completely straight face. Rosita and Eric laughed their heads off. As their respective partners carried out the fight.

Abraham dipped his paint brush into the bucket, and wagged the brush into Aaron's direction. Covering him in splotches of paint.

“I thought you told us not to play with the paint...”, Aaron started.

“Boys, you have a job here”, Judith commanded, hands placed on her hips. Rick laughed again, seeing a trace of Lori in his daughter.

Soon they had finished the room, and Aaron helped the girls with the spelling of the names. He knelt next to Judith who wrote them down. May had her small hand on his shoulder. Attentively watching the brush forming letters on the white wall.

“Hold up, we need to write mom's name on there as well”, May protested when Judith stood up. The older girl threw a confused look towards Aaron. He shook his head slightly.

“We should do that. Can you write her name?”, Aaron asked the girl.

“Yeah, a bit. I think it's spelt: M-A-G-I-E, right?” “Nearly but she has two G's.”

“Like dad has two N's?”

“Just like that.”

May nodded, and stuck her tongue out in concentration. They all stepped back to look at the wall.

Judith read out the names. “May, Judith, Carl, Enid, Rick, Michonne, Aaron, Eric, Abraham, Rosita, Tara, Carol, Daryl, Eugene, Glenn, Maggie.”

“Wait something's missing”, Aaron said. Leaning forward he painted a heart next to Eric's name.

“Why did you do that?”, Judith asked.

“Because I love him”, Aaron stated, a sheepish smile on his face. His partner stepped closer hugging him. Carefully not to get paint onto his clothes. Eric took Aaron's brush out of his hand and drew a heart next to Aaron's name.

“Now it's finished”, Eric slung an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder giving him a peck on the cheek.

An agitated huff was heard in the background. “This is getting girly”, Daryl said. Aaron and Eric looked at each other. Knowing what the other was thinking.

They knelt down to the girls. “Do you think we can make Daryl a bit more 'girly'?” May and Judith jumped him, wiping their hands off on his vest.

“This ain't funny...”, Daryl complained, but soon got his revenge. Taking some paint himself, and covering them with it. Aaron managed to destroy Eric's shirt with pink color.

“Hey, I gave you a declaration of love, and you betray me.”

“Next time I want a poem”, Aaron said cheekily.

“I gave you a walker heart, isn't that poetic enough for you?”, Eric countered. Before Aaron could answer Daryl headed their way. Whispering something into Eric's ear who grinned. They managed to capture Aaron, and placed his arm on the edge of the bucket. Applying paint onto his cast.

“Hey, this is unfair. You are taking advantage of my disability.”

“Disability my ass”, Daryl huffs, a smile on his face.

“Consider it a declaration of love”, Eric laughed.

 

Afterwards, when they were outside, Eric kissed Aaron. Tasting the paint on both of them. For once it wasn't the coppery flavor. For once he could enjoy this moment, and just hold Aaron in his arms. For once their skin felt sticky from paint not blood. Aaron ran his fingers through Eric's hair. Feeling the dry paint crack, and stick in the soft ginger strands.

“I want time to stand still. I want to live in this moment with you forever”, Aaron whispered in his ear. Hugging him tighter. Eric could see fear in his brilliant blue eyes.

“Stop worrying. We are alright just now. I've got everything I ever wanted right in front of me.”

 

Abraham shut the window. “It's strange to see people in love”, Carol stepped beside him. Both looking down at the men, kissing. “I never loved anyone. When I married I thought I loved him, but now I know I didn't.”

 “Rosita is everything to me, but....but I liked Sasha a lot as well. I think I fancied her, but in a different way.”

The woman nodded again. “Every love is different. But I see how you look at Rosita, you love her.”

“Yes I do.” “You can have a crush on someone, but only a handful of people can be the one. Be glad that you found her.”

“Who is it you love, Carol?” A smile appeared on her face as she turned. Looking at Daryl who was picking up May, so she could fill the hearts with color. “He's a good man.”

“Go to Rosita, hold her close. Spend us much time as you can with her.”

“I will...thank you.”

He stepped outside pulling Rosita into an embrace.

 

Sun poured through the blinds when Carl woke up. His sisters had crept out of her room, and bounced on his bed.

“Good morning”, she giggled, already dressed in jeans, t-shirt and boots.

“What are you doing up so early?”, he rubbed his eyes.

“I wanted to go outside with you.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to do hunting practice, so I can help if we get attacked again.”

“Does dad know about this?”

Judith rolled her eyes.

“Okay don't tell him.”

She slung her small arms around his neck. “Thank you. You're the best big brother in the world.” Her giggling filled the room as he dressed and took her by the hand.

Rosita and Abraham were sitting on the roof of one car. “You're up early.”

“There's still paint on you”, Judith exclaimed.

“Yeah, you should see Aaron and Eric. I bet that's going to stay even longer”, Judith laughed again.

They made their way towards the clearing. Carl handed her a knife.

“Why can't we use guns?”

“Because they are too loud. We shouldn't take that risk if we don't have to.” They practiced for an hour.

“Let's go back I'm hungry.”

“No, wait there's something in the bush”, knife drawn she approached.

“Stay back”, Carl hissed pulling his knife out. Moving towards the plant. Something white had caught in the branches. Carefully he picked the object up.

“What is it?”

“It's a ball”, Carl smiled, “We can play football again.”

“But with whom. All the ones who used to play with us are dead”, the little girl announced sadly.

“We'll ask around. Someone will play with us.”

 

After breakfast Carl and Judith followed by Enid and May made their way towards the center of the community. The first person they spotted was Aaron. His cast shone bright pink in the sunlight, and still specks of paint were matted in his hair.

Carl approached him. “Good morning, Aaron we found a football. Do you wanna play?”

“Yeah, sure why not? Though I must warn you I haven't played for a long time. I'm out of practice.”

“Doesn't matter.”

“How many are we?”

“Only us four with you five.”

“Eric will play...oh and Tara she loves sports.”

“When Tara plays Eugene will as well”, Judith pointed out.

“Who's on watch?”

“Dad and Michonne.”

“Good we'll get the others.”

 

 Michonne and Rick were doing their patrol. “Why are we bothering to build a new community all over again when it will only last for a short time?”, Michonne asked.

Rick wanted to answer when they heard noises from the center of their home. They exchanged a glance. The broke into a run towards the commotion. Carol, Daryl and Glenn followed them. It got louder as they heard a shriek.

The father turned pale. “Was that Judith?”, he picked up speed. Making his way towards the source. They had imagined walkers tearing their families apart, but nothing had prepared them for the sight they saw.

They were running. Not running from walkers but kicking a ball. Eyes sparkling with glee. Panting heavily, sweat dripping off their faces. Laughter, and shrieks of fun came from his children.

“Aaron pass me the ball”, Carl tried to keep up with Enid, and blocked her. She grabbed him by the arm. Eric and Aaron were both trying to keep the ball in their control. Pushing the other aside. Finally Aaron shoved him away, with the aid of his cast, passing the ball to May. The small girl managed to pass it to Abraham who gave it a well aimed kick between two trees. Rosita couldn't hold the ball.

“Holy shit, we scored!”, Abraham shouted in glee. High fiving May. Eric made his way towards Aaron blocking his way. His boyfriend slung his arms around the younger man. Tickling him.

“Hey, that's not fair. You're cheating”, Eric managed to shout between laughs. Aaron's face beamed up with a smile.

“Look, they're happy”, Rick told Michonne, “We'll get through this.”

“I hope you're right”, worry was written on her face.

Rick laid his hand on hers. “I promise you, everything will work out.”

 

“So who won?”, Carol asked serving lunch.

“We did”, Aaron announced. Still beaming. His cast had turned from bright pink to a greenish color. His jeans were stained with dry dirt.

“It was a draw”, Eric commented dryly. Throwing a raisin in Aaron's direction. “Hey...”, he protested grabbing a raisin himself.

“No food fight!”, Carol sternly intervened. Giving him the stern look of a long-suffering mother. Aaron obediently placed it on to his plate. Not missing Eric sticking his tongue out at him, and then giving Carol a  innocent smile.

“Where did you two learn to play soccer?”, Rick asked. The couple had carried the whole game with their skills. Having the most possession of the ball than all the others combined.

“I used to play it a lot in school”, Eric said.

“My mother said I had to join either judo, or the soccer team when I was seven. I should have chosen judo in hindsight.”

“Yeah, should have”, Eric commented dryly.

“What are you getting at?”, Aaron asked annoyed throwing another raisin in his direction.

“Hey”, Carol slapped his hand.

“Look how cute he gets when he's angry”, Eric laughed.

“Is this your version of a foreplay?”, Tara asked curiously.

“We are not having that talk. This ain't a fucking romance novel”, Daryl grumbled missing Carol's look directed at him. Eric and Aaron smiled, exchanging glances. They had the theory since they set eyes on Carol and Daryl that they would one day get together.

“Are you finished?”, Rick had laid his hands on Judith's ears.

“I'm good”, Aaron still lamented the loss of the rest of his raisins. Rick smiled, and let his daughter pull his hands away from her ears.

“What were you talking about?”, she asked excitedly. “Grown up stuff. Glenn can I have a word with you?”, Rick stood up followed by the Asian.

 

They stepped outside. “Tomorrow I want to go on a supply run. Scout the area. I know you normally go on supply runs, but I want you to stay here.”

“Why?”

“I'm sorry to say this, but I can't trust you.” Glenn cast his eyes to the ground. Clenching his fists. “You nearly killed Aaron the last time we were caught up in a fight. I just can't...You're a danger to our group and yourself.” Still Glenn remained silent. “I know this is hard. When Lori died I felt this unstoppable rage. If it hadn't been for you, Daryl and Hershel everything would have fallen apart. Just talk to us when you need anything, or just want someone to listen, okay?”

The silence nearly suffocated the two men. “Listen, Glenn”, nervously Rick ruffled his hair, “Probably you don't want to hear this right now. But Aaron isn't at fault that she isn't here anymore. He tried to save her. There were just too many. If Aaron and Eric hadn't shown up in the first place, and decided to bring us back to Alexandria then we would have been dead.”

“It's just...”, Glenn started, “I can't even kill the sonuvabitch who tore her apart. Because...”, a nervous laugh escaped his throat, “Because they're already dead.” His fingernails were digging into the soft wood of the porch fence. Scratch marks on the white paint.

Rick clasped a hand on Glenn's shoulder. “Look at them”, he pointed towards Judith, May, Carl and Enid laughing, talking, the sparkle of youth in their eyes. “This is what kept me alive. We need to find a purpose to live on in a dead world. That's our purpose.”

 

When Rick had done his round he walked back towards his house. Michonne sat on the sofa. May sitting on her lap, and Judith holding a book. Reading in a halting manner when she wasn't sure how to pronounce the words. He crept towards the doorframe. Enjoying theses moments of peace. May took the book from Judith reading the next sentence. Michonne throwing in a few helpful tips.

Rick joined Carl outside. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Enid and you up for the run?”

“Of course. Enid wants to go outside again.”

Rick nodded. “I feel the same way since we lost people again I'm scared we're out of practice.”

“I hope we can stay. I like it here, dad.”

“Me too. We're going to make this place work. Make it even better than Alexandria.”

“Are we going to recruit people?”

“Maybe, I'll have a word with Eric and Aaron about that. I guess they'll jump at the idea. Aaron's already getting restless.”

“You're just jealous about his crazy football skills”, Carl said a smile spreading on his face.

“Sure, son.”

“I can ask him if he wants to play against you.”

“No, I want to have a bit of dignity left in his eyes.”

“Dad”, Judith came running out of the house.

“Hey sweetie, what have you been up to?”, Rick caught her lifting her up. Enjoying the grip of her small arms circling around his neck. Her brown hair smelling like grass, and the scent of outdoors.

“We were reading.”

“Very good”, Judith started to laugh and squirm when Rick tickled her. In this moment he decided that they were going to stay here. Whatever happened he would keep this place secure and safe. For his children to grow up in. For him to die of old age. For his grandchildren to play in.

 

“Can I go visit Eric and Aaron?”, May asked Carol who wrung out wet clothes. “Yeah sure.” “'Kay.”

Aaron sat on the porch. “Good morning, May. Did you sleep well?” The girl nodded. Her smile revealing a whole set of baby teeth. She sat down on his lap. Her legs dangling.

“You know that Carol is mad at you and Abraham 'cause she can't get the pink paint out of our clothes?”

“Really?” “Yep.”

“See, license plates don't make that much mess.”

“You have to tell Abraham.”

“Then he'll be mad at me.”

“Does your arm still hurt?”

“No, Rosita told me I can take the cast off in a week.” May played with a thin thread from the cast. The little girl avoided eye contact.

“You can tell me anything, you know that?”, Aaron sensed that something bothered May.

She solemnly nodded. “You have to promise not to lie.”

“I promise.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die?”

“Yes. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

She wrapped the thread around a finger and then unraveled it again. “Mom's dead, right? I saw dad cry.”

Instantly Aaron shuddered in the warm morning sun. He managed to keep his voice steady. Something he had learned in his former job, walking among starving children, mothers crying for their babies who had been torn apart by a bomb. Grabbing his hand, crying so hard, covering him with the blood of their loved ones, and their own tears. At night he always hugged Eric. The events of the day catching up on him. His boyfriend keeping him grounded. Everyone thought he was the strong one in their relationship, but it wasn't him. It was Eric. If something happened to Eric than he would break.

“Yes, she's dead. I'm very sorry”, it felt false in his ears. It felt like he read it from some card you sent to a funeral of a distant relative you never knew. But this was Maggie they were talking about. Maggie who saved his life, who told him that she was having a baby. Who gave him advice when he had a fallout with Eric. And now she was just gone. It hit him hard. Sitting on that porch. Holding her four-year-old daughter in his arms. She was gone. Before he had told May it felt like Maggie was just on some kind of holiday. Returning but now... Tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why didn't dad tell me?”, May's voice hitched. He felt her small body tremble.

“Your dad just couldn't bear to tell you. He loved your mom very much, and he loves you so much that he didn't want to make you sad”, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Are you scared that Eric will die someday?” Aaron takes a deep breath as not to burst into tears.

“Everyday. But we have to enjoy and remember the moments we had with the people we love. You had wonderful moments with your mom, didn't you?”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Small hands gripped a handful of his windbreaker. Sobs soaked through the material. Aaron pulled her closer. Letting her cry. Letting her mourn.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A story with a lot of characters is really difficult to write. So if your favorite character does not get enough page-time in this story, I'm truly sorry. I try my best to give minor characters lines/scenes as well, but I know some deserve a lot more than they have here. I love you all, minor characters :)


	8. The Price We Pay For Love

Glenn walked past Aaron's house, and spotted his daughter sitting on Aaron's lap crying.

“What did you do?!”, Glenn stomped up the stairs. Worry, and rage mixed in his dark eyes. May loosened her grip, backing away from her father.

“What did you do?!”, he yanked Aaron up. Pulling him away from the porch, and shoved him against the wall.

“She knows, Glenn. May knows that her mother's dead. She asked me, and I told her that it's the truth.”

The grip tightened. “You don't get to say that to her!”, Glenn screamed, shoving him harder.

“I'm sorry, but she already knew. Should I lie to her? It won't bring her back, Glenn.”

“You have no right!”, Glenn pushed him onto the street. Aaron decked the first punch with his cast. Out of the corner of his eye he saw May running in the direction of the other houses. Another blow came, and he lost balance crashing to the ground. Instinctively he pulled out his knife. Glenn was towering above him. Setting a heavy boot on his cast. The pressure sent waves of pain up to his hand. His fingers slackened, and he couldn't hold on to the knife.

“You're not her father. You don't get to barge into my parenting. It's my job to tell her not yours.”

“It's nearly been a fucking month! When were you gonna tell her?!”, Aaron angrily shook the boot off. Sitting up.

“How dare you!”, Glenn slammed the grip of his gun against Aaron's head. Pain exploded. Edges were fading out when he heard footfalls on the pavement.

Carol tried to pull Glenn off, but he shoved her away. Again slamming the grip against Aaron's head. This time not only the edges faded out, but his whole vision.

 

“Aaron!”, Carol saw the man crumble, falling onto the hard surface. Blood soon pooling underneath him. Glenn still delivering kicks to his ribs.

“Dad, stop...Dad”, May is sobbing. Carol sat up regaining her balance, but before she could try again Daryl and Rick rushed towards them. Both trying to grab Glenn who was squirming hard, and punching them. Sending them reeling.

“You are going to step away from my boyfriend, or I'm going to shoot you!”, Eric stood in front of Glenn. Gun trained. Hand on the trigger. Hammer already pulled back. His tone icy. The gun steady in his hands. Daryl and Rick managed to pull Glenn away.

Eric knelt down beside his boyfriend “Where's Rosita?!”, he pressed a cloth onto Aaron's wound. Trying to shut down the worry.

“What is it this time?”, she wearily crouched down. Carefully parting Aaron's curls to get a look at the wound. “You got to be fucking kidding me.”

She went towards Glenn, and slapped him across the face. “I don't know what happened here, and I don't care. But this is the third time Aaron knocked his head, and twice has been you shoving him onto the ground. His wound reopened. Do you know how dangerous a concussion is without any medical equipment? Aaron could die. Do you even care? From now on you're gonna keep your distance. If I see you so much as even looking at Aaron, Abraham is going to take care of you. Do you understand?”, with that threat left hanging in the air she returned to her patient.

Aaron opened his eyes hazily. A comforting hand on his shoulder holding him down. Eric's face over him. “Everything is alright, Aaron. I'm going to keep you safe.” Soon his vision faded out again.

 

“Let go of me”, Glenn aimed a kick at Rick, but missed. The man shoved Glenn against the wall.

“I never want to see you threatening someone from our group again! Do you copy that?”, Glenn avoided eye contact. “I am talking to you. Answer me!”

“Yes.”

Daryl carefully rolled up Carol's sleeves. Seeing the bruises and abrasions on her skin his grip tightened. “If it had been anyone from outside our group I would have killed them.”

“It doesn't hurt much. I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I've had worse.” Again his face darkened. She made her way to Glenn, but Daryl caught hold of her hand.

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to Glenn.”

“I'm not leaving you alone with him.”

The woman rolled her eyes, but let him follow. When the Asian saw Carol he turned red. Ashamed for his action. “Glenn, you have a child to take care of. She's alive, and you're alive”, Carol didn't add what everyone was thinking, at least Glenn still had a child, “Take care of your daughter. Maggie would have wanted it.”

Glenn seized up. “You don't get to say her name!”, he lunged forward, but Rick held him firm.

“You fucking shut your trap. If you ever hurt Carol, or Aaron again I'm gonna skin you!”, Daryl leaned forward. Glaring into his opponents eyes.

“What happened that you were on each other?”, Rick asked.

“He told May about Maggie”, Glenn admitted. The others exchanged looks. Relief flooding them. It had been a pain to know that someday they would have to tell the girl about it. But everybody shied away to tell her.

“It had to be done by someone.”

“He's not her father”, Glenn hissed.

“You should write him a Thank You Card. 'Cause he had the balls when you didn't. He cared more for your little girl than you did”, Daryl growled.

“You fucking...”

“Hey, that's enough! Someone fetch Abraham. I want you to stay in your room till you have cooled down, Glenn. Abraham's going to watch you.”

“I'm not...”

“Shut up”, Abraham growled, dragging him forward.

“I hope Aaron's doing okay”, Rick looked at the puddle of blood spilt on the pavement. “He doesn't seem to have much luck since we left Alexandria.”

“He's tough”, Daryl pulled out a pack of cigarettes he retrieved from a run.

 

May sat on the steps of the porch. Eyes transfixed on the blood. She lifted her head when red, small shoes come into view.

“I heard what happened”, Judith sat next to her. Placing a hand on May's back. “You know my mom is dead as well. And Enid's and dad's are dead. So we all belong to the 'Dead Mom Club'. And now you can join as well.”

The younger girl's mood brightened. “Really?”

“Yeah, isn't it brilliant to belong to a club?”

“I guess”, May wasn't sure if it was so brilliant, but if the older girl said so. “My mom's mom and dad's mom are dead as well. So they belong to the club.”

“Yeah. I think almost everyone belongs to the club.”

“But we still have our dads.”

Judith smiled. “Yes, I wouldn't know what to do if my dad was dead.”

“Me neither.”

 

He woke to the all too familiar pounding in his head. Eric sitting next to him, holding him down. “Aaron? Don't move too much.”

“What happened?”, his side burnt.

“You were in a fight with Glenn. Do you remember?” Concerned brown eyes searching his.

“Yeah...must have past out...”

“Yeah. Aaron, you are worse than Bambi”, Eric chuckled. Brushing a curl out of Aaron's face. “You had me worried.”

“She needed to know”, he sat up, his whole body protesting.

“Lie down again. Aaron, please you have a concussion.”

“She needed to know, didn't she?” Eric let out a sigh. Not wanting to deal with this. He rubbed his eyes wearily.

“Aaron, you did the right thing. Everybody thinks that. And we're thankful that finally one out of ten grown-ups managed to tell May the truth.”

“Maybe I should have...”

“Stop it now! Since this whole thing started you have been blaming yourself. Even before that.” Aaron gave him a confused look. “The people who died before the wall was high enough. Davison. The two people who attacked us, and we had to kill before they killed us. The wolves storming Alexandria. Maggie's death....They are not on you!”, Eric stood up. Hand slipping away from Aaron's. He paced nervously across the room.

Fear crept up Aaron's spine as his eyes followed his boyfriend. Fists clenched. His face nearly matching the color of his hair. Aaron could count on one hand how many times Eric had gotten this worked up.

“Eric...”, he hated how weak he sounded. How could one person strip him of every courage he had gained?

“Why do you always have to take the blame, Aaron?! Why!”, his voice bounced off the walls. Hurting Aaron's head. “Please stop”, he pleaded. The other man didn't notice.

“Next you're gonna tell me the fucking roamers exist because of you. The Alexandrians would have died without us. I know that. You know that. They didn't have the training, or the guts to go outside and defend themselves. Davison did fight by our side when the wall broke. It wasn't your fault that he turned out to be a complete bastard. And we called the shots together...I was partly responsible as well...”

Aaron tried to stand up. Legs wobbling as he caught himself on the edge of the chair.

“The wolves set that trap. They wanted you to run in there. They would have found Alexandria. Followed you back either way. Wouldn't have made a difference if they found the pack or not. So stop it, Aaron. Stop beating yourself up. I can't let the only person I have left, the only person I ever truly care about, wither under my eyes.”

“Eric”, Aaron stepped closer. The floor seemed to tilt. He tried his best to ignore the swaying motion. Trying to lay his hand on Eric's shoulder. Calm him down. Eric shoved him away. Making Aaron nearly fall over again. His ribs protesting as he slumped against the wall. He barely stood upright.

“Nobody can hurt you as much as you do. Don't you get it! I can never see somebody hurt you. That's why I trained the gun on Glenn. Nobody has the right to hurt the must precious person on earth. Not even you, Aaron. Because I love you”, tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Aaron clumsily tried to stand on his own again. Without the support of the wall. Taking a few steps towards Eric but stopped mid-action. Unsure what to do.

 

The door swung open. “Is everything alright?”, a flash of concern flitted across Carol's face.

Aaron wore the same expression he had that fateful night. When they had stood in the backyard of a building. Waiting for the next day to arrive to bring them to the promised land Alexandria. Carol had noticed that Aaron hadn't seemed as scared as he ought to be when Rick shoved that gun in his face. But then, when she saw him frantically scanning the crowd. Shouting a name over and over again. The same mixture of fear and terror that people wore when they were about to get killed. But his expression had been different. Because of the component of love. Hurting more than anything else could ever hurt him.

“Are you okay?”, she asked both of them.

“He...he...doesn't get how special he is”, Eric sobbed. Carol had never seen Eric so worked up in all these years. Come to think about it she had never seen Eric or Aaron fighting like this.

“I didn't mean to...I'm sorry”, Aaron managed. Fear had blown his eyes wide. His skin turning the color of the wall.

“Just stop feeling guilty about everything. I want you back, Aaron. I can't bear to lose you.”

“I won't...”

“Don't you understand? You could already be dead. It would make no difference. You are not the man I woke up next to all these years”, Eric rushed towards the door. Blindly wiping tears away that kept on streaming.

Unsure if she should follow Eric, or tend to Aaron, Carol stood in the doorway. Aaron didn't say anything. Eyes staring at the door. Then he tried to move towards the exit. Swaying dangerously.

“Aaron, stop.” “But...” She wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Laid her hand on his chest. Steadying him. “Eric has been under a lot of stress. He was very worried about you.”

“He hates me”, Aaron's voice broke her heart, how little self-worth did he possess?

“Never have I see anyone love someone so much. Honey look at me. Eric loves you so much. He would never ever leave you.” Aaron's eyes were still transfixed on the door. Looking right through her. “Come on. I'll bring you to your bed.”

Aaron didn't say anything. Staring to the ceiling. Eyes empty. Carol dreaded the day when one of them died. The other would be left in pieces that nobody could put back together.

“Aaron, I'll talk to Eric, okay?”, he gave her a small nod. Not moving his head. She could see him grimace in pain.

 

Tara headed up towards her. “Is everything alright? Eric walked past me as if he had seen a ghost.”

“Aaron and Eric had a fight.”

Tara raised her eyebrow. “We're talking about Eric and Aaron. Power couple of the apocalypse. They never fight.”

“They just did. Listen I want you to stay with Aaron. He's not taking all this very well.”

“Of course. What are you gonna do?”

“Be their marriage counselor.”

Tara went into Aaron's bedroom. Sitting on the chair that Eric had previously preoccupied. The man was sitting up. Hands fidgeting nervously with the blanket. She laid a hand on his. Eyes watery when he looked at her. Completely shattered.

“Carol is gonna talk to him. You know how persuasive she can be. Even convinced Daryl to take a bath.”

“He...He said that I could already be dead...”, he turned, not wanting her to see him cry.

“Oh, Aaron”, Tara sat down on the bed. Pulling him into a gently hug. “I'm sure he didn't mean it like that.”

“But he said it.”

“Eric has been really worried about you. You have the highest injury count since we left Alexandria. You know that? He tried not to go completely mother hen on you, but he asked me, and a few others to keep an eye on you.”

“Doesn't need to worry”, Aaron mumbled.

“You had a concussion. He was terrified that you would pass out, and some walker would get you.” Aaron didn't say anything. Giving her yet another heartbreaking look.

She hugged him tighter. His grip reminding her of Denise. Her soft hair under her fingertips. Her warmth seeping into her after every supply run. The kisses on her cheek. Amidst all this pain it felt good, almost reassuring to hold someone in her arms again. Even if she couldn't hold the only person that mattered in her arms anymore. Before she knew it tears dripped down her cheeks.

Aaron wiped them away. “Sorry, I didn't want to upset you. Seems to be the only thing I do these days.”

“No, I just...I remembered Denise.”

“Pain is the price we pay for love”, Aaron hugged her tighter. Both clutching one another because if they let go they would break.

 

Carol found Eric sitting on a porch of an empty building. Knees drawn towards his chest. His head buried in his hands. His whole body trembling.

“Eric?”, Carol sat next to the man.

“Sorry”, he roughly wiped his eyes. Taking a few deep breaths. Trying to compose himself again. “How is he?”

“He's shaken up.”

“God...I didn't mean it...”, Eric shook his head. Raking his fingers through his unruly hair. “I shouldn't have...I didn't mean to hurt him... He's going to despise me now.”

Yet again Carol marveled at how similar these two were. “No he doesn't, Eric. He loves you.”

“Of course he does...but...”, Eric stopped, searching for words. “This is really stupid”, he finally laughed it sounded lifeless. “Glenn lost his wife and I...I'm just...I'm picking a fight with the one person who is so important to me.”

“My daughter, she wound me up sometimes. I would get so angry. Turn into a person I never wanted to be”, Eric gazed at Carol in wonder. Never had she told them about Sophia. “But I did it...all of it because I loved her. I was so angry with her because I loved her. I wanted to keep her safe. Stop her from listening to people who wanted to hurt her. Stop from hurting herself. It's not stupid Eric. You were worried that made you angry.”

Slowly the ginger nodded his head. “He just keeps putting his life on the line. It's like he needs redemption, but he didn't do anything that is so bad that he needs it. Maggie told me after the wolves they wanted to get over the wall. There were a whole bunch of walkers, and he wanted to go through. She held him back. If she hadn't he would have died.”

A shudder ran through his body. Images of Aaron's walkerfied body leering in his inner mind. Carol remained silent letting Eric get all the worries, he had carried around with him alone, off his chest.

“When I asked him why the hell he would do something so stupid he told me because it was his fault, that he deserved it. You should have seen him the weeks, months after that. He looked right through me. As if his soul had left the body. Hadn't seen him that bad since the time we were attacked and we had to kill the people. Sometimes I wasn't even sure if I should let him out of my sight when he carried weapons with him...”, Eric stopped taking another deep breath. “Please keep an eye on him, Carol. If anything happens to me keep an eye on him”, Carol nodded.

“I told you before Eric, he's family. We'll make sure nothing happens. Some people don't notice that they are amazing people. Aaron's one of them.”

“I know I just...”

“Hey”, Carol laid her hand on his jittering knee, “It's not your fault. You clearly love each other. I haven't seen many couples who are so at ease with each other. Who are so respectful, caring and in love as you two are. You had an argument...so what? Aaron's never going to leave you, and you are never going to leave him.”

 

“You know that your boyfriend totally kicked ass?”, Tara said, trying to distract them both.

“He did?”, Aaron asked in a voice mixed with alarm and proudness.

“Yes, Glenn knocked you down. Daryl and Rick tried to pull him off but he kept struggling. Eric came out of the house. Gun trained on Glenn, and told him to let go, or he'd shoot.”

“Eric did that?”, a sly smile spread on Aaron's face.

“Oh yes, and Glenn immanently obeyed. I didn't even know that Eric could get like that.”

“Beware the nice ones”, Aaron said, then his smile vanished. In hindsight talking about said boyfriend, who Aaron had a fight with, hadn't been among one of her brilliant ideas, at all.

“We should go search for him”, Aaron swung his legs across the edge of the bed.

“Stop”, she quickly laid her hand on his shoulder. “You should be lying down not walking about.”

“I can't rest if I don't know if Eric's okay or not.” He pulled on his shoes. Hands trembling as he did the laces.

“Please, Aaron if I let you go, and you collapse Eric's gonna kill me.”

“I won't”, his body nearly betrayed him as he swayed slightly. Tara was by his side. Steadying him.

“You won't make it past the door.”

“I will”, with sheer stubbornness Aaron let go of her, slowly making his way towards the door.

“Shit...Hold up Aaron.”

 

Carol and Eric made their way towards the couples house when Eric spotted Aaron. “What the...”, after he had overcome his surprise Eric rushed towards him.

“I'm really sorry Eric. He didn't listen to me", Tara said. Aaron had turned even paler. Or it seemed like that in the blazing light of the sun. Dried blood on his clothes. His eye swollen now.

“He never listens”, Eric wished he could take the words back as he saw that Aaron flinched at his tone of voice.

“I'm sorry Eric...I didn't want to...”, he stopped unsure how to proceed. His pleading eyes fixed on his boyfriend. He started to pull at a frail thread of his cast.

“No...I'm sorry Aaron”, with quick steps Eric was at his boyfriend's side. Pulling him into a hug. He felt the tight grip. Slowly he pulled away looking into Aaron's eyes. “I didn't mean what I said about you being dead already. It's no excuse I was just really worried. I thought that you maybe wouldn't wake up.”

Aaron's hand was still clutching Eric's arm tightly. As if to make sure that Eric wouldn't go again.

“I meant what I said about you giving yourself the fault for everything, but let's talk about it later.” His boyfriend hadn't said much, and this worried Eric even more. “Let's get you inside.”

“I love you Eric”, Aaron finally said, something off about his voice. Having a bad feeling, knowing Aaron for so long now, Eric helped Aaron sit down on the pavement.

“I love you too”, he kissed Aaron's curly hair. Waving Tara towards him. “Get one of the guys. I think he can't make it on his own.”

Tara nodded as Carol knelt down taking Aaron's pulse. “Eric should really give you a bike helmet”, she suggested, “Or just a full body armor.”

“I said it before, Aaron's like Bambi.”

“No”, wearily Aaron leaned against his boyfriend.

“Just as cute. You even have Bambi's eyes.”

“Bambi has brown eyes, and ginger hair”, Aaron laid his head on Eric's lap. Closing his eyes. “You're far cuter”, he murmured. Taking hold of Eric's arm. His boyfriend smiled kissing Aaron's forehead lightly.

Tara returned with Rick and Daryl. “Has Glenn anything to do with this?”, Rick angrily asked.

“No, he hasn't”, Eric quickly answered, “Aaron”, he softly nudged his partner, “We need to go.” He tried propping himself up with his arms, but if it hadn't been for Rick, he would have collapsed.

“Come on, let's get you up”, they made their way towards Rick's house.

“Thank you”, Eric said.

“No problem”, Rick carefully pulled Aaron's legs onto the bed. Pulling a blanket over the man. “Get well soon, Aaron. Eric, can I have a word with you...later on?”

“Sure.”

“Make sure he stays in bed this time”, with a smile Rick closed the door.

Aaron fought against his drooping eyelids. “Sleep”, Eric fidgeted with the blanket. Readjusting it.

“Eric?”

“Yes?”

“Sorry for upsetting you.” Guilt flared up.

“Don't worry. I know the last thing you want to do is upset me. Anyway it was stupid of me to start a fight. You're the only precious thing I've got here.” A smile spread on Aaron's face. Nearly as brilliant as the ones he had flashed him before all this happened.

“Can you stay till I fall asleep?”

“Sure”, he laid down next to him. Aaron rested his head on his cast. Lying on his side. Facing Eric who turned over facing him. Their hands joined, and they gazed into the others eyes. No words were needed, and Aaron soon drifted into sleep. Eric sat up. Softly walking out of the room.

 

Rick sat on the couch, rubbing his hand over his face. Upon hearing Eric's footsteps he looked up. “How's he doing?”

“He is tired.”

Rick nodded, eyes fixed on something beyond Eric. “Are you two okay?” It had always surprises Eric how much this group cared for them. Most of his life people had ignored him. Still, after four years, he didn't get used to it.

“You know how love makes you do stupid things?”, Eric sat down on the couch opposite to Rick.

“Yeah, I've been married”, Rick chuckled.

“We had such a stupid fight. Partly my fault, but we made up.” The man nervously tapped his fingers against the soft fabric of the couch.

“You and Aaron are the couple that has the least fights, and love each other. I have never seen a couple who fits so perfectly together...well besides Glenn and...”, he stopped. A sad smile on his face. “I wanted to tell you, Eric, that I talked to Glenn. Aaron doesn't have to worry. And I'm truly sorry about what happened, twice.”

“It's not your fault.”

“I'm still the leader.”

“Thank you, Rick.”

“We're very grateful that Aaron told May.” Eric nodded again.

The front door slammed shut. Michonne and Daryl walked in. “Glenn is gone. Think he went on a supply run on his own”, she angrily secured the strap slung around the handle of her katana. “We've got to stop him. He's gonna kill himself.”

“I don't know what to do”, Rick confessed. “After Lori died I needed time for myself. Glenn needs time as well. As long as he's not attacking anyone we'll let him be. Take care of May. He's a tough guy he won't get himself killed.” Daryl huffed shouldering his crossbow.

“When he comes back I'll talk to him, okay?”, Rick stood up walking past his friends.

 

Sunlight crept through the window when Aaron stepped into the kitchen. Plates and cutlery still on the table. It almost seemed normal. Eric was finishing his breakfast when he spotted his boyfriend, still pale but looking better than yesterday. His movements were gingerly as he lowered himself into a chair.

“Good morning”, he beamed him a smile. Aaron could become an easy read when he was overcompensating.

“Still more Bambi”, Eric chuckled, “You want to eat something?”

“No, thanks.”

“Well at least allow me to get you something to drink.” Under the watchful eye of his boyfriend Aaron took a few tentatively sips of his juice.

“We need to talk, Aaron”, Eric said, looking serious.

With worry Aaron placed his glass down. “What is it?”

“The coffee situation.”

“The coffee situation?”, Aaron asked, confused.

“Yeah, we only have one spoon left.” For a few moments neither said anything.

“You know, Eric I don't even like coffee. Take the rest.”

Eric laughed, “It's so sweet of you, but you're the worst liar.”

“I think you deserve it.”

“No, you deserve it.” Aaron shook his head.

“Are we actually having a discussion about this.” Eric shrugged his shoulders.

“Where is everyone?”, Aaron asked.

“The girls are at Carol's. Baking something. Daryl and Michonne are on patrol. The others are God knows where.”

“How's Glenn?”

“Seriously, you're worried about the guy who beat you up?”

Aaron shrugged his shoulders. “He lost his wife. He's mad with grief”, he halted not saying what he would have. But it hung in the air. “My fault.” “I never want to lose you, Eric.”

In the bright light his smile dropped. It seemed like Eric had never seen him clearer. His eye heavily bruised. Blood still sticking on his clothes. Weariness in his eyes. Pain, desperation mixed with fear. His knuckles turning white as he clutched the glass hard. Eric stood up making his way across to his boyfriend.

“Come here”, Aaron clutched him tightly. “Don't worry. I'm going to stay right here with you. Until death due us part. And I'm not talking about a walker-related death. I'm talking about dying of old age. I will never leave you”, he kissed Aaron's lips. Reluctantly they pulled apart. “I'll be the happiest man alive if that cast comes off. It doesn't match the color of my hair.”

Aaron started to laugh. Holding his sides painfully as he sat down on the couch. “If that's your only soul complaint.”

“No, I have a few to add”, Eric playfully smiled, pulling a blanket over Aaron.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Rosita said you need to rest.”

“I'm fine”, Aaron complained, trying to get the blanket off again.

“Stop that...”, Eric set the blanket in its rightful place, “You are the worst patient ever.”

“And you're a mother hen.”

“Should have seen yourself when I broke my ankle.”

“It was a serious injury.”

“And a knock to the head isn't?” Eric sat next to his boyfriend. They intertwined their hands.

“It could be worse”, Aaron finally decided. Placing his head on Eric's shoulder. A knock interrupted them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plotwise I should have let Aaron and Eric fight into the next chapter to create tension, but I couldn't. They can't seem to stay mad at each other for more than 30 minutes. And Glenn's not going to stay a jerk, he'll come around...eventually.


	9. You Promised To Stay

“I'll get that”, Eric opened the door. Standing outside was May. “Hey May, is everything alright?”

The little girl nodded. Biting her lip nervously. “Eric...can I...is Aaron mad at me?”

“No, no he isn't. I bet he'll be happy to see you. Come on in.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.” May followed Eric inside.

A real smile appeared on Aaron's face when he spotted the girl. “May, nice to see you”, he frowned when the girl hung back.

“Eric said you wouldn't be mad at me?”

“Of course not. Why should I?”

“Because dad hurt you.”

“I'm not mad. Come here”, he patted the sofa. Cautiously the girl sat down next to him.

“May are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, I'll fix you and Aaron something to eat.”

“I'm not..."

“Don't care.” A small giggle came from May. Then she grew serious again.

“Sorry about dad. I think he'll feel sorry for what he did.”

“It's okay I had worse.”

She nodded again, biting her lip. “Aaron?”

“Yes.”

“Can I sit on your lap?”

“Of course.” Carefully she moved. Sitting upright not leaning against him as she normally does. Well aware that he was injured.

“Did your mom die?”, she suddenly asks. Aaron was caught off guard with this question. Carefully he brushed a strand of hair from her face.

“Why are you asking?”

“'Cause Judith told me that, when your mom's dead, you are a member of the Dead Mom Club.”

“Really?”, Aaron isn't sure if he should laugh, or cry at the information he just received.

“Yeah, and so many are in there. Dad, mom, Judith, Rick, Carl and Enid. I don't know about the others though.”

“Well I guess most of us don't know if our parents are alive or not.”

“Do you miss them?” Aaron remembered his mother. How she always had been nagging at him. The smell of apple seemingly wafting in the room. He craned his neck to make out what Eric was preparing. No fruit in sight. Just some bread. Trying to keep the nausea at bay he managed a smile.

“I miss my dad very much, and my older sister and her kids.”

“And your mom?”

“Well...my mom wasn't as nice to me as your mom was.”

“Oh”, May frowned thinking it over. “I thought moms were always nice”, she finally said.

“They should be.”

May carefully leaned her head against Aaron's chest. Her fingers running along the names written on his cast. He wrapped his good arm around her back. Keeping her steady. She snuggled closer towards him. Closing her eyes.

 

“Okay, breakfast is ready...”, Eric halted, two plates in hand, looking at the sight in front of him. The young girl had fallen asleep. Her head resting on his boyfriend's chest. Aaron had wrapped his arm around her. His head lolling on the side of the sofa.

Carefully Eric placed the plates on the table, and fetched the camera he always carried around with him. All this time there hadn't been much to capture on a photograph. A faint click, and the camera printed out the photo.

“You are cuter than Bambi”, Eric leaned forward, and kissed Aaron's forehead. Sitting down on the kitchen chair.

“Hey, I just want to see how the patient's doing”, Rosita stuck her head through the door. “He's been sleeping.” “Awww...that's so cute”, the first time Eric had seen Rosita fawn over anyone.

Eric smiled, in these simple moments he was happy. As happy as he had been before the normal world stopped to exist.

“You love him”, Rosita ran her fingers along the coarse table cloth.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Again he smiled blissfully at the sleeping figures on the sofa. “The little things. His brilliant smile when he sees me. The way he looks at me...as if I'm the only one that matters. The only one important in the world. I know he loves me more than anything else. He's mine, and I never have to be afraid that he'll leave me for someone else. Because he doesn't even see them. The minute I set eyes on him I knew. I knew that he was my soulmate.”

Rosita smiled warmly. “Abraham said something like that to me. Just not as beautiful as you.”

“He has a way with words.”

“Yeah, he does.”

“Sometimes I'd love Aaron to be a bit more direct. He'll dance around a subject like he's trying to pitch it to me.”

“We love them for their flaws as well.”

“We do.”

They saw Aaron move on the couch. May opened her eyes, still tired. Aaron craned his neck, wincing, feeling sore all over.

“Let's get you into a real bed, May.” The girl nodded tiredly waving Aaron goodbye as Eric picked her up and went upstairs. Tucking her into her bed.

“Goodnight, Eric.”

Eric softly tucked her in. “Sleep tight”, he kissed her forehead, and softly pulled the door close behind him. 

“I'm fine, really Rosita.” Aaron was reluctantly unbuttoning his shirt. Struggling with his cast and fingers.

“I just want to take a look.”

“Is everything alright?”, Eric asked shooting Aaron an annoyed glance.

“If he would cooperate it would be.”

“I am...”, Aaron muttered through gritted teeth. His skin still heavily bruised.

“His ribs aren't broken, are they?”, Eric hated to hear the fear in his own voice.

“No, only bruised a little”, Rosita carefully prodded them, “Take it easy for a few days. I mean it!”

“Yes”, Aaron tried to button up his shirt again. Struggling even more. Eric sat next to him.

“Let me...c'mon.” Aaron pulled a face, but allowed his boyfriend to button up the rest.

“Okay, I'll just have to test your reflexes”, Rosita pulled out a penlight, “You know the drill.” Aaron groaned, and tried to pull away.

“For the love of... Aaron, let her do her job. Now!”, Eric angrily says. Earning him a surprised look from Rosita. But it worked.

“Aaron, you're in luck. Your responses are good. In a few days you'll be right as rain.”

“Thanks, Rosita”, Aaron managed to say. Shooting her a convincing smile.

“Rosita, can you stay here and have an eye on May? I want to take Aaron home.”

“Sure, take care.”

“You too.”

 

“I don't want to”, Aaron complained, still feeling nauseous. Even more so when Eric had been coming back with a sandwich.

“Come on. You have to eat.” In the sunlight his hair was illuminated. Shining natural red again. Aaron saw the worry in his partner's eyes. He took the plate, and placed it on the table next to the bed. Taking hold of Eric's shirt he pulled him down. Kissing him lightly on the lips.

“You're not just kissing me because you don't want to eat, are you?” He didn't answer. His hand tugging gently at Eric's hair. Aaron pulled him closer. Until his boyfriend sat next to him.

“I'm just glad you're here.”

“You're a fine one to talk. Who is throwing himself into all kinds of danger?”, he huffed, taking Aaron's hand into his. “And now stop distracting me with your eyes. You need to eat something.”

“What am I doing with my eyes?”

Eric shook his head. Shoving the plate onto Aaron's lap. “Eat.”

“Top bedside manners”, Aaron laughed to himself, receiving a glare from his boyfriend. Tentatively he took a bite. Managing not to gag he swallowed. Something rumbled from a far distance.

“Do you hear that?”

“Stop distracting me. Eat up.”

“No...listen.” Eric wanted to say something, but Aaron laid his finger on Eric's lips. “Listen.” They both did, the rumbling moved away.

“What was that?”

“Almost sounded like home”, Aaron muttered.

“D.C.?”

“Yeah, like cars driving past.”

“Did Glenn take a car when he went on a supply run?”

“He's on supply run?”

“Yeah, Rick told him off after he attacked you, and then he went by himself.”

“Hope he doesn't get himself killed.”

“I just hope he keeps his distance”, Eric's hand clenched to a fist.

“Tara told me that you pointed a gun at him. Said it was pretty badass.”

“Just trying to protect you.”

“Shame that I was out cold. I must have been quite a sexy sight to see.”

“Stop it, Aaron. You're seducing me.”

“And you're my boyfriend, so I don't see what's the problem with that?”

Eric leaned in closer. Their foreheads touching. “The problem is that you are not fit to have any kind of action in the bed. Besides finishing your sandwich, and sleeping.”

“Oh come on, Eric. I'm fine.”

“You're nearly as pale as the wall. Your hand is shaking and you've been dry-swallowing a few times. Aaron, it's okay. I've seen you sick before, and you have seen me sick before. It's no big deal.”

Aaron wrapped his arms around Eric's neck. “I don't deserve you, you know that?”

“You deserve me”, Eric whispered kissing him again.

The rumbling came back again. Louder than it had been before. They froze then pulled away. Aaron swung his legs over the bed. Putting on his boots. Eric poised his knife.

 

Walking into the back garden they saw a car driving towards them in nerve-wracking speed. Eric pulled Aaron out of the way just before the car came crashing in. Breaking the planks from the makeshift wall. Bits and pieces falling everywhere. The machine howled loudly. Coming to a halt.

Two kids and two adult jumped out of the car. The children were screaming. Aaron could see the walkers coming through the woods. Drawn by the commotion of the vehicle, and now screaming people.

Eric had his gun trained on them. “What the fuck are you doing in our garden?!”, he hissed.

“I'm sorry. We didn't know someone lived here...”, the man started to ramble. His hair stiff with dirt, clothes covered in dry blood. The stench of walkers wafting around them. The children and the woman were hiding behind him. The moaning of the walkers getting louder. Aaron could hear the cracking of planks breaking. Bony hands with flesh hanging on them grabbing through the spaces.

“We need to get them onto the street”, he told Eric who nodded. When the girl started to scream on the top of her voice. She rushed inside closely followed by the boy and the woman.

“Stop you can't...”, the man followed them completely oblivious that Aaron had talked. Before they could reach the group they had locked themselves into the bathroom.

Eric rattled at the door. “Open up....open up”, banging his fists against the door.

“Maybe they're safer in there”, Aaron said, leaning against the wall panting heavily. Holding his side.

“No, the window is open”, terror stood in Eric's eyes. Aaron took a few steps back. Ready to slammed himself against the door.

“Stop”, Eric's hand on his. “You'll only pass out, and break your ribs. Cover me.” He nodded as Eric slammed himself against the wood. Again and again. The door didn't budge.

“I don't believe this”, Aaron muttered worry and anger mixed together. He had just wanted a nice, relaxed day with his love. Was that too much to ask?

A cracking sound followed by a breaking of wood pulled him back into the here and now. The door burst open. Aaron halted. Walker arms were dangling from the upper window. Strong hands holding the girl. Teeth mere inches away from the beast. The father tried to hack through the bone. But for some reason he couldn't free the girl. Aaron saw the tattered legs from the beast through the glass of the lower window. Cursing the person who thought it a good idea to put a glass door in a bathroom. Crimson splayed on the white walls. Her blood-curdling scream echoing loudly.

Something touched him from behind. Spinning around he was face to face with a walker. He drove his knife into the creature's head. Another walker just shoved him to the side. Not even noticing him, walking right into the small room. Drawn from the girls screams.

Eric lurched forward, but Aaron grabbed his arm. “Don't... Stay back!”

“What?! We need to help them, Aaron.”

“The walkers are drawn to them not to us. Soon the room will be way too crowded. There are too many. No way out.”

“If this girl there was Evy you would help”, Eric hissed. Struggling out of his grip he made his way into the stuffed room. The glass broke. The walker lounged for the girl. Eric managed to pull her away from the roamer's grip. Pushing her towards the man. A loud burst, and the last resistance of the door broke. The frame dangled from the walkers head.

Aaron rushed towards Eric who desperately tried to fight the walker. His boyfriend pulled his gun, but it got knocked out of his grip. The family ran past him to the outside. His knife was drawn as he rushed towards the thing. Eric is nearly cornered. By his side Aaron rose his knife. Nearly standing next to Eric.

“Watch out!”, his boyfriend yelled shoving him out of the way. He fell on the ground. Turning just in time to stab yet another walker who, unbeknownst to him, had been right behind. Ignoring the searing pain he rolled over, and got a hold of Eric's gun.

 

When he heard a scream. Something wet dripped onto his face. He looked up, seeing the walker taking a bite out of Eric's neck. In a single motion he squeezed the trigger. A loud bang bouncing off the walls. The walker collapsed.

Eric slumped against the wall. Sliding down. Face pale. He pressed his hand against the wound. Fingers coated in blood.

Aaron picked him up. “You're gonna be okay. We'll go to Rosita...she'll stitch you up.” His shirt was wet from the blood. Eric's eyelids are drooping. “Hold on...hold on”, he shot his way blindly through the horde. People were rushing towards him. He didn't know who they were. His eyes fixed on Eric.

Pain shot through his ribs as he made his way onto the street. Knees buckling he sunk to the ground. The gun slipped from his hand covered in blood. Holding Eric tightly. He carefully pulled Eric's hand away, and clamped his own on the gaping wound. Eric's eyes were still open.

“We're going to be fine.”

“I...I love...”, Eric spluttered. Blood running down from the corner of his mouth.

“Hold on, Eric. Hold on. You can't leave me...” He was wheezing by now. Taking gulps of air. His skin had turned bluish. 

Eric wiped a tear away from Aaron's cheek. “I love you....”, his hand slipped away. His eyes were a blank stare now.

“No...Eric wake up...Eric....we can...Eric....”, Aaron shook him. Pushing down harder on the wound. “You can't fall asleep...Eric, I need you. You promised me...you promised me we stay together until we're old. You said you wouldn't go anywhere...”, tears dripped down his cheeks.

He pulled Eric's lifeless body closer to his chest. “Don't you understand? You're the only thing I've got here.”

“Aaron, Eric?!”, someone shouted, from what seemed a far way off. He heard footsteps. Looking up he saw Daryl. He knelt next to Aaron. Seeing Eric he turned pale. Shaking his head when he saw the others descending from the house. Rosita put a hand to her mouth in shock. Half an hour earlier she had talked to Eric.

Aaron was softly crying. His tears slowly washing away the grime from Eric's face. Daryl laid his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

“I'm sorry, but we have to....you know what we have to do. If you want to....”, he awkwardly stopped.

Aaron shook his head. Pulling out his knife he softly brushed strands away from Eric's forehead. Softly he kissed Eric's lips. With a single motion he drove the knife in the back of his soulmate's head. Now Eric's hair truly red.

Rick pushed the shovel into the ground when Aaron picked up Eric's body.

“Not here”, he muttered in a hoarse voice. Aaron led the group outside to an oak tree, a 10 minutes walk away from the camp. He took a shovel himself. After they had a big enough hole he carefully laid Eric inside. Kissing him one last time in his life. The lips already cold now. No smile. No one kissing him back. No fingertips on his skin. He softly closed his lover's eyes.

“I'll find you in the next life, Eric.” He whispered, letting go of his hand. Soon Eric was under the ground as the others all gathered round.

Tara took Aaron's hand. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away”, she said. Her voice carrying over the silent circle. Glenn wiped away a tear.

Carol stepped to Aaron. “You're gonna stay with me, Daryl and May.” She kissed his forehead, and walked a few steps away to give him privacy.

Aaron gazed at the fresh soil. His whole skin felt sticky from Eric's blood. He felt empty inside. As if someone had ripped out his essential being, and never put it back in.

“I'm not going anywhere”, Eric's voice echoed in his head.

Aaron remembered the first time he saw Eric. Sitting in the conference room. Smiling when he saw Aaron walk in. “So you're a new member of our team. Pleased to meet you. I'm Eric.” His warm hand touched his. The first time they had kissed under the stars. The bonfire crackling in the night.

Aaron had known that this was it. His search was over. Eric was his, and would remain his forever. Even in death Eric was there somewhere. “I'll come back”, Aaron whispered.

 

Making his way towards Carol. She laid an arm around him leading him to her house. He didn't remember much after that. A jumble of meaningless whispers, looks. Then Daryl gave him a towel.

“You should probably clean up....do you need....ahm...” Aaron shook his head. Making his way into the bathroom.

The whole water turned red. After he had put on some clean clothes he sat on the side of the bathtub. Again and again his mind replayed the scene. Eric losing his gun. Him trying to get the walker, but Eric shoving him away. And then the blood dripping down on him. The scream, the blood...still sticking on his hands. Hastily he tried to clean the blood off. Scrubbing as hard as he could. Even the cast had turned red. Standing in stark contrast to the bright pink. “It doesn't go with my hair.” Soon threads loosened as he scrubbed again and again. Wearing through the plaster. Then he changed the hand. Trying to get the blood off. But the more he scrubbed, the more blood came.

Daryl and Carol sat at the table.

“Do you think he's gonna...”, Daryl only seemed to talk in broken, awkward sentences since the whole tragedy had taken place.

She laid a hand on his. “We'll have to take care of him. It's the least we can do. Eric asked us.”

“Yeah”, Daryl agreed, “They were the first who welcomed me in Alexandria. When they had this stupid party, and Aaron invited me to dinner instead. And they both didn't care...They loved each other.”

Carol nodded again. “We're gonna make this work.”

“You're sure? Doesn't work that well with Glenn.”

“Glenn will get over this. He still has May. One day he will come to realize that. Give him time. But Aaron, he has no one now. We have to help him.”

Daryl glanced at the clock. “He's been in there for some time. Maybe we should check?” 

“I'll go”, Carol knocked on the door. Hearing the running water from the sink. “Aaron, are you okay?”, after she waited a few seconds she opened. “Aaron...”, he didn't seem to take her in. His eyes were glassy. Then she saw his hands. “Aaron, stop!”, she pulled his hands away from the sink. She felt his body tense up. His eyes focusing on her. “Daryl, get the first aid kit”, she shouted.

“It won't go away. I tried to wash it off, but it wouldn't go away”, Aaron pulled free from Carol's grip. Already turning on the tap again. “No!”, he turned, looking frightened at Carol who turned the tap off. Daryl hasted into the room.

“This is your blood, Aaron. Your hands are bleeding right now.” She took a towel, and gently wiped the blood and water away. Daryl gave her the first aid kit, and she bandaged his hand, the one which hadn't been protected by the cast.

“You should rest now.” Aaron turned looking into the corner of the room.

“I told him to stay back. I told him to stay back, why didn't he listen to me?!”, he slumped down against the tiles. Burying his head into his hands. Tears flowing freely. As he rocked to and fro. Trying to forget Eric's screaming. The bite on his neck. Warm, fresh blood streaming onto his hands.

“Why didn't he...”, a sob drowned the rest. Daryl sat next to him. Awkwardly slinging an arm around Aaron. After his sobs had died down they led him to his the bed. Carol sat beside him.

Aaron missed the familiar warmth of Eric. Their hands intertwining. Eric's eyes gazing into his. Now the other side of the bed remained cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about this. I really hate myself right now. Tears were standing in my eyes when I wrote this. I always threatened the TWD Writers not to kill one of them and here I do it myself. R.I.P Eric.
> 
> Even with Eric being dead he'll play a vital part to the story. I knew right from the beginning that I had to kill him, so this is all planned. 
> 
> Still I'm very sorry. *Apologetic hug*


	10. Already Dead

“Carol?” “Yes, sweetheart.”

“Can we bake cookies today?”, May asked.

“Not today.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because they remind me of someone. A boy a little bit older than Judith. His name was Sam. He loved to eat cookies.”

“Oh, did he die?” It always shocked Carol that children who grew up in this new world weren't surprised by premature death. 

“Yeah, he did.”

“I thought maybe Aaron would be happy when we made him some.”

Carol smiled sadly. “It's a very nice thought. But I think Aaron wants to be alone for a while.”

“Like dad?”

“Like your dad.”

May nodded, deep in thought. “I liked Eric. He tucked me in bed, and sometimes he told me stories about Africa”, May sat down on the kitchen chair.

“I liked Eric as well.”

“Do you think Eric will meet mom in heaven?”

“Yes, I think he will.”

A smile appeared on her face. “So when dad and I die we'll meet them heaven?” Carol nodded. “Maybe when we tell dad and Aaron that, they'll be happy again?”

“I think they miss them so much that it wouldn't comfort them right now.”

“Okay”, May nodded earnestly.

“Why don't you go and play with Judith. I need to check up on Aaron.”

The girl nodded and headed outside.

Carol opened the door. The bed had been made, and there was no sign of Aaron. Worry crept up inside her. She promised Eric to look after Aaron. Now he wasn't there.

 

Rick was playing tag with the girls, but paused the game when he saw Carol.

“How's Aaron doing?”

“He's not here. Have you seen him?”

Rick seemed to thing the same thing. “Let's check his house.” In a quick pace they made their way there. The door stood open. They heard a scratching noise. Aaron knelt on the ground. A plastic bucket beside him. He was brushing blood from the wooden floor.

“I've got this”, Carol said making her way towards the man. Rick walked away leaving them.

“You should rest, Aaron. I can take over.”

Aaron gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. “No, I just need to do something...but thanks.”

“Can I help?”

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, “Sure.” Carol knelt next to him. The water was a dirty shade of red as she scrubbed over the same stain again and again.

“Eric hates it when the house is dirty”, Aaron said quietly. He had taken the bandage off already. She could see the abrasions. The bruise on his eye stood out more. His hands were shaking.

“What's going to happen to the people who drew the walkers here?”, his voice was controlled. Too monotone. Carol knew he must be mad at them.

“Rick wants to talk about that. He'll call a meeting. Right now Michonne is having an eye on them.”

“He pushed me out of the way. A walker was right behind me. Would have bitten me. He pushed me away. If he hadn't done that maybe he would live right now.”

She laid a hand on his. “Aaron, then you would be dead and Eric alive. Then Eric would be in your place. Would you want that?”

“No. But he didn't deserve it.”

“And you do?”

Slowly he nodded. “I'm not a good person, Carol. I wanted to leave this family in there. Let them die. But if we had done what I said then we would both be alive. The world doesn't favor you just because you did a good deed.”

Carol wasn't surprised, she had always seen the edge in Aaron. How carefully he would map out his actions. Beam a smile at people. Chatter away, but she knew he was playing. Just as she played a role in Alexandria. Eric and Aaron, just like Carol, made people believe that they were harmless. People tended to underestimate them. Underestimation was a great power in this world. And, just like Carol, they played their roles effortlessly.

“You are living in a world where we are forced to do unspeakable things for the ones we love.”

A dry laugh came from him. “Look how good I've been at that.”

“I lost my daughter.”

Aaron stopped cleaning the floor. “I'm sorry”, tears shone in his eyes.

“You are strong, Aaron. You will survive this.”

“That's what I'm afraid of.”

 

“Okay, listen up. We need to talk about the people who came here yesterday”, the others gathered round him. Standing in the blazing sun. Beside Rick the two children and the man and woman stood gazing at them. The kids were cowering behind their mother.

“First I'll ask you three questions.”

“Anything I can do to keep my family safe”, the man agreed.

“How many walkers have you killed?”

“I lost count.”

“How many people have you killed?”, the man didn't answer. Avoiding Rick's glance.

“You have survived this long because you know what it takes to keep those you love safe. Just tell us.”

“I've killed two people.”

“Why?”, Rick asked, betraying no emotion.

“They attacked my camp. I had to...”

“They attacked your camp. Where is this camp?”

“It's gone. Most of them died.”

“You killed two people?”, Daryl asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I had to they...”

“I have killed more than two people”, a voice interrupted him. Aaron stepped into the crowd. Rick exchanged a confused glance with Carol, who shrugged her shoulders. She had seen Aaron fall asleep. They hadn't wanted him to be here. Eric's gun steady in his hand.

“I could kill you in the blink of an eye, and I wouldn't mind”, his voice turned cold. His eyes had lost their spark. As he edged closer to the man.

“I'm sorry”, the father blurted out.

“Listen, because of your actions I lost someone who meant the world to me. Lucky for you I'm too tired to kill you right now. Just get out. Leave!” A tremble ran through the man's body. He inched away from Aaron.

“Stop!”, Rick walked to Aaron. Blocking the way for a clear shot. “You didn't know this Aaron, but this man helped us. When the walkers ran on the street he stood right by our side. Fighting as well.”

“Helped? Without them we wouldn't be in this situation. They drove into my garden with a fucking truck that drew every goddamn walker from throughout the woods to our place! They got Eric killed. They can't handle any weapons. They're weak. We don't even know them. For all we know they could be the ones who burnt Alexandria in the first place!” Rick said nothing. Trying to find the man he knew, in the stranger standing in front of him. He laid a hand on Aaron's shoulder.

“What happened? You can look at people, and know if they're good or bad. You believe in the good of people. Why do you want to throw them out?”

“What's the matter with you? Can I remind you that the first time we met you hit me in the face, and suspected me of poisoning Judith. Suspecting us to attack you. And now you ask me why I'm not trusting these people? You really have gone soft, Rick”, he spat the last words. Struggling free from Rick's grip. Gun still drawn. Their leader said nothing.

“I'm sorry for what happened to your friend”, the man softly said. Tears in his eyes. A steady grip on his children. Aaron narrowed his eyes. Taking a step forward. Rick quickly stood in front of him again. Laying his hands on Aaron's shoulder. Pushing him away. Aaron let him. Still glaring at the man.

“Because of you and your stupid family Eric died. Because you all couldn't listen”, he rubbed his eyes angrily, “Why didn't you listen? We told you not to go in the house, and to open the door. It's your fault. I could have just as well shot him when this whole mess started. Then lose him now, when everything was getting safer, better again”, the gun slipped out of his hand. His body slumping. The anger had left his eyes. Something desperate in his whole stance.

“If they stay I'll go.” A long time nobody said anything. Rick trying to process the whole situation. He had underestimated Aaron. His instinct the first time he met him had been right. Aaron could be dangerous.

Daryl shifted nervously. He had already lost Eric he didn't want to lose Aaron too. The young, energetic man had reminded him of Beth. The carefree smile, the almost naïve mind-set. Vibrating in optimism. The first one who had accepted him in Alexandria. They had grown close. Aaron and Rick were the first two friends in Daryl's life who saw past his gruff interior. That saw who he really was. Saw the good in him. How many times had Aaron or Eric climbed on the roof. Sitting next to him. Chattering idly knowing Daryl was sad, and cheering him up without making him uncomfortable. But Rick was his brother as well. He didn't know which side to join. But he couldn't leave Aaron all on his own.

“I think Aaron's right”, Carol stepped up, “This is too dangerous. We don't know who they are. We only saw what they did. Driving a car into our community. Getting Eric killed. Aaron is right.” Silence had fallen on the group.

“Let's take a vote. Who is for letting them in and letting them live here?” Rosita, Abraham, Tara and Eugene held up their hands.

“I'm sorry, Aaron”, Tara sadly apologized.

“They have kids we can't just send them back on the road”, Abraham gravely said.

“Who wants them to go?”

Aaron raised his hand closely followed by Carol. The others looked at one another. “Hell”, Daryl muttered, raising his hand as well.

“He's right, they could have killed Judith or May as well with their carelessness”, Michonne raised her hand.

Carl stepped up. “I'm sorry dad, but it's too dangerous”

Glenn raised his hand as well nodding at Aaron. The first sign of truce. Enid, who sat on the porch a few steps away with the kids, raised her hand as well.

“Well, I believe we have this settled. You can have a car, and some food.”

“Please, you can't just leave my family and me on the street. We won't make it without...”

“I'm sorry. I truly am, but Eric and Aaron they saved our lives. They saved the lives of my son and daughter. We owe them. The group decided.” He led them away. Closely followed by Michonne. Aaron picked up the gun heading towards the gate.

 

A soft breeze made the trees whisper. No moaning, no shifting in the woods. Just him. He kept a steady pace. Until he came to the graves. Laying his hand on the soft soil.

“Why didn't you just listen?”, his whisper was drowned in the wind. His legs gave away as he sunk to the ground. Lying down next to the grave. Aaron wasn't sure how he felt. Everything seemed heavy. The world had turned darker. Even the sun shining down on him couldn't take that chill that had set in after Eric's warm blood had cooled down. Whatever he did now would make no difference.

When they had encountered their first walker he told Eric that he would make sure they would survive this. And they had 7 years. 7 years of nerve-wracking runs, close calls, adventure and love.

But now nothing mattered anymore. It felt like he was dead as well. Hearing footsteps he looked up. A walker stumbled towards him. The creatures face had nearly disintegrated in rotten flesh, dangling from its face. Aaron just stared at the thing. Black blood leaking out from its mouth. He searched the remains of a person's soul in the creatures eyes. Fearing he would find it after he had killed Eric. Only dull eyes stared at him. Lunging further towards him. Aaron didn't move. The apocalypse was over. The person he had been living for was gone. The walker stopped gazing at Aaron. 

“What are you waiting for?!” The roamer awkwardly took a step forward. Teeth rattling together. The stench hitting Aaron. All this time he hadn't grown accustomed to it. The thing stumbled further towards him. Time seemed to slow down. Since Eric's hand had slipped away from his cheek. Since the life had flown out off them both. It came nearer. Grabbing Aaron's cast. He stood still. Waiting for his last minutes.

“Till death do us part”, he murmured, “I love you Eric.” Fingers dug into the plaster. It took a bite, yanking Aaron's arm forward. A loud crash and Aaron lost his balance. Falling onto the soft soil. The thing on top of him. Tainted blood spraying in his eyes. In his mouth. Tasting like something rotten. He struggled and rolled away. Dry-heaving into the grass.

“Aaron, are you okay?”, Enid tucked the gun into her waistband. Rolling him on the side. Checking the cast. “It only got the plaster”, she announced. Aaron just stayed where he was. Saying nothing. Enid lay down next to him.

“When my parents died”, she started, “I felt so alone. I wanted to...to vanish. Wanted to either get them back or die. But I had this mantra in my head. Playing on and on. I don't know who placed it there. I just wanted to die. But always I had this JSS in my head.”

The trees had longer shadows now. It had gotten colder. Aaron's teeth knocked together.

Enid sat up. “We need to go. I know you don't want to know, but JSS means: Just Survive Somehow. And that's what we both are going to do. Because there are people back home who need us.”

“I'm not even here anymore”, Aaron said in a monotone voice. Looking right through her. His eyes rolled back. Enid managed to break the fall. She tried to shake him awake.

“Aaron...Aaron...wake up...”, the man didn't move. Nervously she checked his pulse. It felt weak under her fingers. She looked around not seeing any walkers, and raced towards the gates.

Rick saw her first. “Is everything alright?”

“Aaron past out. I can't wake him up.”

 

Carol stood waiting at the gate when she spotted Daryl carrying Aaron's limp figure. His arm dangling in the air. She could see the blood specks on his face. Tear stains on the fair skin. Eyes closed. For a moment Aaron morphed into Beth. Dead in his arms.

“Nearly got himself bitten”, this time Daryl couldn't hide the worry, “Stupid idiot.” Carol saw the first layer broken of the cast. Not as deep as the last time though. Carefully Daryl laid Aaron on the bed.

“He's lighter than he has been the last time I had to carry his sorry ass.”

“Eric told me that Aaron had been feeling sick, because of the concussion no doubt.”

Daryl turned, half-expected to see Eric walking in. Long suffering look on his face. Like a mother would come the umpteenth time to the principle's office asking. “What has he done now?”

“He needs an IV drip.” Tara leaned against the wall. Hugging herself. “Aaron saw it happen. Eric died in his arms and he had to...to stab his own boyfriend....it's just...”, she swallowed back the tears, “I didn't see Denise die, but he saw Eric die”, tears stood in her eyes. Rick pulled her into hug.

 

“I want eyes on Glenn. No more supply runs on his own. Enid and Michonne, are you up for one?” Both nodded. Sitting on the couch in Rick's living room. A dim lamp giving them some light. They talked in hushed voices as not to wake the girls and Aaron.

“And whatever we do we can't have Glenn and Aaron together. They should keep their distance.”

“What about Aaron?”, Carol asked, “He's devastated. He is capable of anything.”

“Let him grieve. Let him help out to keep his mind of things. Everyone keeps an eye on him.” Rick leaned against the wall. Deep line of worry etched on his face.

“I guess we've gotten too comfortable with the motion that nobody dies anymore in our core group.” Without saying another syllable he walked out of the room.

 

Old, broken down buildings scattered along the street. The sun standing high in the bright blue sky. The only noise was the rustling of trees. Glenn lifted his hand. Motioning them to stop. Craning his head to catch a glimpse of the path ahead of them.

“Clear.” Michonne and Enid follow them closely. Carl and Daryl lagging behind. Investigating a run-down bar.

“I've never been so happy to see a Walmart”, Michonne smiled as she made her way towards the building.

“Hope it isn't raided already”, Enid muttered. Glenn remained silent. He didn't talk much these days. It was musty inside. A foul stench hit them. It's not uncommon. All these years into the apocalypse. Most stores have been raided. The shelves empty. Sometimes beneath them an old canned soup. Already bloated. In some stores they still found food.

“Let's get the things we need”, Glenn stepped over the decomposed body of a walker. Blood staining the floor. Worms were creeping out of the corpse. Enid followed Glenn.

“Glenn?” The man looked up. “You told me years ago that people only stop existing when you die, or you forget them. They live on in our life, in our memories.” He gave her a dazed look. As if he has to think hard to remember all that.

“It seems like a dream”, Glenn finally said. Absent-mindedly picking a packet of noodles from the shelf. “The time before...the time in Alexandria. It seems surreal. As if another version of myself lived that life. When I look at May I can't even...I have to remind myself that she's my daughter, and not just some child”, he shook his head, turning back to the groceries. Wiping his eyes.

“You're still in shock. Everyone is in shock. When my parents died I wasn't even sad I just was...you know?”

Slowly Glenn nodded. “I love them though. God, how I love them.” With that he passed. Eyes staring into the distance. Somewhere else. Enid saw him vanishing into the next department, down the next aisle. A chill running down her back. The way he had looked at her. As if he was already dead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope the following chapters aren't too OOC concerning Aaron. Let's just say I didn't like the portrayal of ComicAaron in mourning that much. Mine will be different.
> 
> Next weekend I'm a bit busy, maybe I'll post the next chapter in the week, and not on Sunday. Stay tuned :D


	11. Innocence Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really busy this weekend, so no chapter on Sunday, you get it today.
> 
> Enjoy :)

When he woke up it was past noon. Aaron tried to get his bearings. No one was sitting on the chair next to the bed. His first thought upon waking: “Where is Eric?”, cut through him like a knife. The terrible truth coming back to him.

Hastily he pulled the drip out of his arm. Letting the last liquid trail onto the wooden boards. In every room he thought he would see Eric. Running towards him. Telling him off for getting himself into trouble again. In every window he caught glimpses of the ginger hair, just turning around the corner. Always out of his reach. Aaron stumbled through the house. His airways constricted. Breath painfully quick.

Outside he saw the girls playing ball. Walking into their...his...house made him feel the bile on the tip off his tongue. Remains of blood in the darkened floor. Eric's jacket lay on the couch. Aaron picked it up. Closing his eyes he held on tight to the fabric. Taking in Eric's scent. The scent that stuck to both their clothes, that had blurred into everything Eric was, lingered when Eric left Aaron's apartment.

 

He remembered Eric snickering when Aaron had taken his hand at the airport. “Let's go to my place”

“Seriously?”, Eric's bright voice flitted through his memory, “We've been on a mission for a month, and you still can't get enough of me?”

The fear that Aaron felt, thinking that Eric was fed up with him. The soft kiss on his lips, because Eric noticed everything.

“I think one of us should ask the question”, his laughed, “You can be so clueless sometimes. I think we should move in together, don't you?”

The world had stopped, narrowing down to the person in front of him. Millions of people rushing past him, and he only saw Eric. “It's not a big deal, Aaron. Not like I'm asking you to marry me, or something. We have practically been living together for months now. I just don't like an empty apartment. Without you it doesn't feel like home.” Aaron had been struggling for words. Settling on pulling Eric closer.

“Yes, let's move in together”, he finally managed. Too happy to say more.

 

Something stuck in the pocket of the jacket. Pulling it out Aaron saw a photo of himself and May. Fast asleep on the couch. A smile played around his lips. Imagining Eric giving him a sly smile, maybe blushing a little, like a teenager with a crush.

“It was just so cute. I couldn't pass the opportunity.” His face morphed into Maggie's.

“I don't even have a photo of him. I can't remember his face”, worried sick, thinking that Glenn might well be dead. Now he understood. Coldness forming in the pit of his stomach. The photo slipped from his grip. Sailing to the floor.

He had to steady himself against the wall. He didn't have a photo. The last one they took still in Alexandria. How could they forget to take one? How could they be so naïve, and think that they would stay here until they grew old? Tears shooting into his eyes as he sunk to the ground. There wasn't a photo, and Eric's face blurred. His voice starting to disintegrate.

“Don't go, Eric. Please don't go...”, he buried his face into the clothing, “I can't do it without you.” Sobs wreaking his body. Eyes started to burn as they slowly dried. A headache thudding against the base of his skull. Soft footsteps made their way up to him.

 

The girl sat down. Putting her small hand on his knee, a weak smile appearing on her face. It hit him how young May really was.

“How do you feel?”, her voice faint.

“Sad.”

“When I'm sad I listen to mom's music box.”

Aaron remembered the faint melody. Spreading its way across the field. The guns trained on him, and the fear on Maggie and Sasha's faces. Life had been different then. Before he had met Rick and his group, he had lain nights awake. Seeing Eric's chest raise and fall. Too scared to fall asleep. Only a wall parting them from the walkers. And within the wall people who waited for the couple to do one wrong move, so they could kick them out, or hurt them. People who could beat them up, but would run away upon seeing the first walker from miles away. People they had to protect, but who would never protect Eric. Only after Rick and the attack from the Wolves had he known finally someone would protect them.

“The first time I met your mom she had the music box with her.”

“Was she sad?”

“Yes, she was.”

“Why?”

“She lost her sister, your aunt.”

“But she survived.” Aaron nodded looking through the window. Glenn walked along the street. Unreadable look on his face.

“She did.”

“I found something”, a smile broke on her face, “But we can't tell Abraham about it.”

“Okay...”, May smiled, standing up she stretched out her hand. Trying to pull him up. It leaned against the porch outside.

“I found a license plate. From Washington, you come from there, right?” Despite everything Aaron had to smile. Carefully he bent down hugging the girl.

“Thank you. When I get hold of some nails we'll hang it on the wall.” May kissed him on the cheek, and ran onto the streets.

Aaron felt the familiar metal underneath his fingertips. It felt solid. A constant that nobody could take away. Whatever happened there always would be license plates for him to gather.

 

Rosita placed the next bottle into the shelf. “We have a good stock here”, she happily said. They heard the squeaking of the door hinges. May rushed into the room. Huge grin on her face.

“Oh, someone is pleased with herself”, Tara commented.

“I found a license plate, and gave it to Aaron.”

“That's good. Now could you find Abraham his hinges”, Rosita brushed the girl's hair back into place.

“I made Aaron smile. I wish I could make dad smile”, May climbed onto the bed. Letting her small legs dangled in the air. Tara sat next to her. Heart breaking for the little girl.

“You will make him smile again.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, he just needs time. But he'll smile again.”

“We need to take Aaron's cast off”, Rosita walked towards the door.

“But we decorated the cast. It was really pretty”, May exclaimed in an alarmed manner.

 

She found Aaron leaning on the rail of his porch.

“Hey, you can finally get the cast off.”

“Thank God”, Aaron muttered. He followed her into the kitchen. Seeing the blood on the floor, and Aaron turning paler than he already was, she asked if they should go somewhere else.

“No”, Aaron sat down laying his arm on the table.

“We have to saw through the plaster.”

“Don't saw through the arm. I'd like to keep it, now that it survived several biter attacks.” The smile never reached his eyes. Sarcasm seemly coming out of habit.

“Don't worry”, she started to saw into the cast, talking as she made the first cut. “Just so you know. You've been the worst patient I ever had.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't make it a habit.” Soon she could pull the plaster away. Aaron stretched his fingers and arm. Wincing with the movement.

“It'll hurt as first. You'll need to train the arm again. No heavy lifting, okay?”

“Thanks”, Aaron looked away, fought against tears. “You know Eric couldn't wait for this to get off. He said it didn't match the color of his hair”, he let out a joyless laugh, and stood up.

 

Enid saw Aaron walking towards her. “You're up. Thank God, gave me a fright yesterday.”

“Yeah, sorry. You didn't tell them about me not fighting the walker. Thank you.”

“Don't mention it. I've been where you are now. I know you don't want anyone to babysit you.”

“You saved my life”, he didn't sound particular happy about it. “Have you seen Rick?"

“He's at the gate. Keeping watch.”

“Okay”, as he walked away Enid saw the similarity to Glenn. They seemed to move automatically. No emotion, only the deep sadness running through their veins.

 

“Aaron, shouldn't you still be in bed resting?”, Rick greeted him. He made a dismissive hand gesture.

“When you investigate Alexandria can I come with you?” The question caught Rick of guard. Exchanging a look with Michonne, she shook her head, Rick turned to Aaron again.

“Listen, I know you wanna help. But I don't think you should come to any runs for some time. You're injured, and need to rest.” Aaron's eyes narrowed. Trademark smile vanished.

“I'm fine”, his voice low, laced with anger. “You're afraid I'm going to opt out, but I won't. I just need to do something personal there. Finish something.”

“I'm not sure...we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay.” The younger man stayed put. Glaring at Rick. Something evil manifesting in his eyes. It reminded Rick of the glint in the Governor's eyes, and the glint he saw everyday when he looked into the mirror.

“We'll talk about it. I need to think this through who'll come with me on the run.” Without another word the man left.

“He's lost his compassion”, Michonne had her eyes trained on the man, “Aaron's dangerous now.”

Rick slowly shook his head. “He always was dangerous. Eric just stopped him from behaving like this.”

“We have two ticking time bombs in the camp. Glenn and Aaron.”

“Then, maybe we should take one of them with us.”

Michonne rose an eyebrow. “Are you really considering to take Aaron with you?”

“You heard him. He won't get in our way. And he didn't attack anyone like Glenn did.”

“He's still injured.”

“He's tough. It's settled.”

 

“I want you to have your eyes and ears wide open. The place can be overrun by walkers, or worse by people. Hold fire until I give you the order”, Rick told his group. A week had past since Eric had died. Now only a few miles separated them from their former home. 

“Now if we could finally get some hinges”, Abraham broke the silence of weary footsteps, and the clacking of guns. “Aaron? Do you know where the store is?” The man in question looked up.

“It's a few miles away from Alexandria. You'll have to follow the tracks.”

“Very good then I can...”

“Hold up. You're not going to go by yourself. It's too dangerous”, Rick shielded his eyes from the sun. “We're nearly there.”

They could see the ruins of their former home. “Rome has finally fallen”, Aaron commented darkly.

They heard the rustling of a faded banner. Fixed to an old wall, skirting the outlines of the community. Formerly red, it had faded into something whiter. The black letters, now grayish, spelt out: 'We are still here' Aaron placed his fingertips on the cloth. Enid who had been walking beside him stopped. The others covering ground in a steady, quick pace.

“Aaron, we need to go.” He didn't react. Carefully she placed her hand on his shoulder, gaining his attention.

“Come on, we need to go.” Aaron turned, seemingly dazed he shook his head as if to get his bearings. She pulled out a bit of chalk. Writing the letters 'JSS' onto the wall next to him. Looking back at Aaron. He nodded, and they caught up with the others.

 

The stench hit them first then they heard the guttural moaning. Black, singed walkers dumbly stumbled towards them. Familiar smell of burnt flesh mixing with the decaying scent of rotten flesh.

Most of the faces were unrecognizable burnt to the bones. Every single one of them glad because the sickening realization had settled in that these walkers were their people. People who had worked by their side when they built the wall. People who had come to dinner, and chatted with them. Friends, some had loved ones here.

Aaron made his way towards his former home. Glass cracking underneath his boots as he found what he had been looking for. The frame had broken. Carefully he picked the photo up. Brushing the glass shards away. Eric's smile making him feel sick. This is what he had lost. Tucking the photo secure into his pocket he went to join the others. Driving his knife into a walker who had made his way towards him.

“Hello?”

Aaron froze. Pressing himself against the wall. Clutching the gun in his hands. He peeked around the corner.

A young man had his rifle trained on Rick. Soon more men appeared behind him. Carl and Enid hid in another ruin. Daryl, Carol and Abraham slowly made their way towards Rick. Eugene crouched behind a small garden wall.

“Listen we don't want any bloodshed here... Let's just go our ways.”

“Did you burn this place down?” The man avoided Rick's glance.

“Okay, you probably won't believe me, but we just wanted to set a small fire, and scavenge the....”

“A small fire? Have you seen what happened here!?”, Rick echo carried over the whole deserted place.

“I'm sorry, this was your place, wasn't it? No offense, but how could we know that you'd be so stupid, and have a black powder store right next to your camp?”

Rick trained his gun. “Lower your weapons!” 

“Do what he says”, the leader placed the gun on the ground sliding it across the pavement. “You can keep them, and we'll be on our way. I'm sorry what we did. And believe me when I say this, it wasn't our intention. We just needed some supplies, but we would never have killed so many people.”

Rick thought about the proposal. Michonne nodded, and Rick turned towards them.

“Okay, you're free to leave, but if I ever see you again I am going to kill you.” Aaron didn't believe his ears, and left his cover.

“Why are we not killing them? I've had enough of stupid people getting other people killed”, he trained his gun on the leader.

“Aaron, hold your fire!”, Rick shouted, noticing the crazy gleam in Aaron's eyes.

“If it hadn't been for them I wouldn't have had to bury Eric.”

“No. It was a mistake, an accident. We built the black powder store too close to our homes.”

“I told you it was a fire hazard”, Eugene threw in dryly. Having left his cover.

Rick took a few steps closer towards Aaron. “Aaron, give me the gun.”

A laugh escaped the man's throat. “I know what you're doing, Rick”, he sneered, “Believe me. I have done what you are doing so many times. It has a surprisingly high rate of success.”

Aaron pulled the trigger again and again.

The men rushed towards their guns. But were too slow. Carl shot from his cover. Daryl used the arrows, and reluctantly Rick trained his gun on the men. Dead bodies lay on the pavement. Turning the ground dark red. The fight was over before it had even started.

“Give me your gun, now!”, Rick trained his on Aaron.

“You won't shoot me.”

“Are you happy now?”

“It was their fault that Eric died.”

“Because of you we killed them all.”

“You don't get to say that to me. I have saved so many people. Day by day we have put our lives on the line for these people here that didn't even appreciate what we did. And for what? We have lost all of them. It was useless.”

“We have lost people, but we still have each other.”

“Yes, _you_ have each other. You have Carl and Judith. Glenn has May, but I have nobody. Don't you understand? Eric was the last person on earth I loved, and now he's dead as well”, Aaron threw the gun away. “Kill me. I don't care.”

The others had their guns trained on the man. Unsure what to do, they kept looking at Rick.

He lowered his weapon. Taking a few steps back. Running his hand through his hair. His eyes darting back to the bodies on street. Then back to the young man. The same man who had beamed a smile at him after Rick had knocked him out. His first instinct had been right after all. Aaron wasn't a man to be trusted.

“Carl, find a rope, or wire”, after a short time his son came back with a long cable. Rick slung the material around Aaron's hands. Tying them together. Then he picked up Aaron's gun.

“Daryl, keep an eye on him.” Aaron followed Rick's actions. Indifference written on his face. They made their way back, into the woods where they had parked the cars.

“What did you do that for?”, Daryl asked Aaron.

“I thought you would understand”, Aaron absent-mindedly answered. Turning around to see Alexandria for the very last time. A ghost of a smile flickering on his pale face.

“Don't look back”, Daryl gruffly pushed him forward. The younger man stumbled. But caught his balance.

“Are you okay?”

“Peachy.”

“What did ya mean with me understanding?”

“You have killed people to keep people safe, haven't you?”

“Yes, but....”

“This is different?”, Aaron smirked looking at the dusty ground, “Just because Rick didn't give his blessing? These people killed all our friends. They took our home. Without them Sasha, Gabriel, Denise, Morgan, Maggie and Eric would be alive and well. And you just wanted to let them go...You should be tied up, not me.”

“It was an accident.”

“Before the world went to hell, you had to go to prison when you trained a gun on a person, and accidentally pulled the trigger. If you accidentally placed a fire, and this fire killed other people you would go to prison. Even if you didn't have the intentions to kill them. But this isn't the world now. Now you make a mistake, and don't go to prison. You die. I just did what had to be done. If we don't kill them they'll kill us. They already killed us. Why keep them alive, and risk them to cross our paths again?” Daryl didn't answer, knowing that Aaron was right.

 

Only after they had clambered into the car Daryl struck up a conversation again. Aaron sat next to him. Leaning against the seat. Grimacing in pain.

“Aaron, you okay?” This time the man didn't answer at all. Seeing him trying to move his arm Daryl felt bad for him. Foremost Aaron still was a very good friend. Maybe even one of his best friends, and his scouting partner. He had learned to read him without a single word being exchanged between them.

“Rick, I'm gonna untie his hands.”

“No”, the leader said, not taking his eyes off the road.

“He's in pain.”

“Serves him right”, Rick grumbled.

“Hell, he broke his arm. I'll make sure he does nothing stupid. C'mon, Rick.”

“There is the danger that Aaron can never regain the full function of his arms when you keep him tied up”, Carol joined in.

Rick signed, when had these two started to follow, and choose Aaron's side every single time? Deep down he felt jealous. Why could someone they met two years into the apocalypse gain their trust quicker than someone like him who saved them when the world had changed overnight? After all they had been through?

“Okay, do it. I still want him under guard.”

“Yep, he'll stay in my house”, Carol announced, almost cheerfully.

Daryl undid the knot. He could see blood glistening on Aaron's lips he had bitten on because of the pain. Carefully he moved his arm. Muttering a thanks to Daryl and Carol.

The rest of the journey he watched the wasteland pass by. Occasionally a few walkers stumbled towards them, but weren't quick enough to catch up. It seemed peaceful. Almost normal. Just a Sunday drive to some destination.

Aaron closed his eyes. Imagining Eric sitting next to him. A smile on his face. Soft hands slung around his boyfriend's shoulder. But soon Aaron saw the dead men lying on the ground. Dark, crimson blood. Still smelling fresh, not decaying. On the same streets Eric and he himself had walked. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Making him tremble. What had he done?

 

“I want him watched around the clock. We slaughtered a whole group of people just because Aaron couldn't follow a simple order.” The others had crowded on the couch. Minus Tara, Aaron and the girls.

“With due respect, Rick”, Abraham rose to speak, “These men are responsible for the deaths of our people.”

“It was an accident. Eugene even told us when we built the store. We knew the risks...”

“How should we know that people would set a fire right there?!”, Rosita threw in.

“I think we did the right thing, dad. They would have come again”, Carl stepped up.

His father said nothing but nodded gravely. “I just wanted us to come back from all this killing. We haven't killed for years now. We wanted to keep it that way. Last time we were nearly too far gone.”

“We only kill if we have to”, Carol coldly said.

“This wasn't self-defense.”

“Yes it was. Because we don't know if they were really telling the truth. Maybe they knew about the black powder, and did it just to kill us.”

“They don't have a motive to do something like that. If they wanted to kill us they could have attacked when we were outside the walls. Why destroy everything they could use, and kill us?”

“Did the governor need a motive to do the things he did? Was there any use in killing the people he killed?”, her eyes coldly bore down on him. An oppressing silence traveled through the room upon the mention of their enemy.

“We can't erase the past. I think we should make the best of it. Move on”, Eugene broke the silence. Several nodded in agreement.

“Aaron's dangerous. He didn't hesitate shooting them, and then he didn't care if I shot him or not.”

“He lost his partner. What do you expect. A mentally stable person?” Everyone turned towards the man who had spoken. Glenn gave them a cold glance, and stood up. Leaving the room. Nobody said anything for some time. Surprised that Glenn had spoken in the meeting. Something he hadn't done since Maggie died. Then taking Aaron's side.

“The kid's right”, Abraham said, thinking back to the time he had looked down on the blood soaked bodies of his wife and children. The gun in his hand offering the only salvation he had on this hell on earth.

 

“Here, you need to eat something”, Tara placed a plate onto the table. The girls already attacked their food with their forks. “Hey, slow down. Nobody will steal your food.” After making sure the children stopped wolfing down their food she directed her attention back to the man sitting next to her.

Daryl had told her what happened. She had been surprised, shocked. But Aaron hadn't shown any violent behavior towards her, or the girls. He'd been withdrawn. His mostly carefree nature had stopped existing since Eric had been killed. Reluctantly he took a mouthful. Swallowing it with displeasure. His wrists were raw, and he only moved his arm stiffly. Always accompanied with pain. After he had finished Tara gave him painkillers. He managed a smile.

“Let's get you on the couch.”

“Can we read something to Aaron?”, Judith asked.

“Not tonight sweetie. Aaron is really tired. Maybe in the next days.” She noted the disappointment on the girl's face. “You could read to me.”

“Yes”

“Okay, fetch the book, and we'll read it at the kitchen table.”

Aaron laid on the couch. Listening to the faint, youthful voice from Judith. He heard a soft patter of footsteps coming towards him. May gave him a shy smile sitting next to him.

“Hey, are you alright?”, Aaron asked, voice low so he wouldn't disturb the reading session. Small fingers playing with the thread of the blanket.

“Aaron, can I ask you something?”, now a question that seemed to become a habit.

“Sure, you can always ask me a question.”

“Why does dad hate me?” If he hadn't felt bad enough already he sure did now. This little girl's question made him feel just as sick as the time he saw Maggie get devoured by the horde. Clumsily he managed to pull her into a hug with his injured arm.

“Sweetie, your dad loves you so much. He just needs time. Your dad doesn't hate you. Don't ever believe that.”

“Okay”, she answered unsure. Aaron knew she wasn't convinced.

“Tell you what. I'll talk to your dad, okay?”

“But won't he hurt you?”, the same worry in her eyes that had been in Eric's.

“I'll take my chances”, Aaron stood up, “Stay here. Don't tell anyone.” May nodded earnestly.

“Pinkie promise?”, Aaron asked, “Pinkie promise.”

Tara looked up. “I'm going to bed if you don't mind.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No, thanks.” Aaron made his way to the bedroom of the house. Carefully he opened the window, and slipped into the dark night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy to announce dear readers you've made it halfway through the story. Thanks so much to everyone who reads, likes and comments on this. It means a lot *Big hug*


	12. Used To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of suicidal behavior

Glenn sat on the porch drinking out of a silver flask. It still was hazy in Aaron's mind that the flask had been given to him from his...father...no from Maggie's father.

He looked up, seeing Aaron approach. Cautiously the man made his way towards the Asian. Surprise stood in Glenn's eyes.

“Listen, I don't want to pick a fight. Can we just talk?” Nodding Glenn motioned him to sit down. Dark shadows were around Aaron's eyes. Almost looking like bruising. His eyes beyond glassy. Dried blood on his sleeves. Angry marks on his wrists.

The burning anger had died down in both men. They were too exhausted to put up a fight. In one of the houses, next to them, they saw shadows dancing behind the curtains. Glenn shivered pulling his jacket closer. The images looking eerily similar to walkers. He took a swig from his flask.

“You want some?”, he handed the flask over to Aaron who gave him a grateful smile. Taking a swig. Grimacing at the bitter taste. Glenn found himself chuckling.

“I got the liquor from Abraham. It's shit, but after all that went down....I guess we deserve some kind of break.”

“Well, we don't have to think about the consequences of a bad liver.”

“Even the apocalypse has its ups”, Glenn agreed. They fell into silence again. In the dark they heard leaves rustling in the wind. The moon shone, lighting up the path. Brightened the whole neighborhood.

Both remembered what happened the last time they had a full moon. Aaron still woke up ever night from the memory of the blood curdling screams from Maggie. Her body torn apart. Sickening sounds of bones being snapped. Flesh ripped apart and eaten.

“I talked to May.”

Glenn turned all attention to Aaron. “Is she doing okay?”

“That's what I wanted to talk about. I know it's none of my business, but...”, he felt unsure how to tell a grieving husband that he had to take better care of his daughter. Knowing now it took every ounce of will power not to fall apart.

“Yes, what do you want to say?”, Glenn inquired.

“She asked me today if you hated her.”

“What? I don't...”

“But she thinks you do. Listen, Glenn don't make your own daughter think that you hate her. You don't know what it does to a kid's heart.”

Aaron took another swig. Downing the liquor. Hoping to drown the pain. Remembering his mother screaming at him. Telling him that the world would have been better of without him. The younger man fixed his eyes on the ground. Breathing hard as he tried to keep his emotions under control.

“I...I loved her”, he finally broke the silence.

“They take a piece of us, our love, our compassion. They steal it away from us when they go”, Aaron coldly reminisced, and took another sip. Glenn stood up taking the flask from Aaron's hands.

“I'll get us something stronger.” 

After he fetched two bottles of Whiskey, he sat down again breaking the seal. The noise of the lid coming undone made Aaron jump.

Placing it onto his lips Glenn took a gulp. “The first time I saw her she rode a horse. Galloping towards us she picked Lori up, Rick's wife, because Carl had been injured. She looked like Wonder Woman.”

“She was a brilliant woman, Glenn. She saved Eric, she saved me, and she risked her life to save yours.”

“Yeah, she was a great woman. A great wife. A great mother. All I could ever wish for.” They both took another sip. Aaron was slowly started to feel dizzy. The liquor leaving a trace of sour, sweet taste in his mouth, and a burning in his throat.

“Sorry about Eric”, Glenn clasped a hand on Aaron's back. The pain, numbed from the alcohol, flared up again. He managed to nod. Biting his lips again. Drawing blood. “This is all gone to shit. Before all this I thought that we would find a cure. That things would go back to normal. After all we had years without much of an incident. I thought they were finally gone.”

“Eric and I thought we would live in Alexandria forever.”

“Yeah, we thought we would see May grow up, and marry in Alexandria.”

Aaron gave him a sceptical look. “Marry? Who?” Glenn seemed annoyed, but thought about it. Suddenly bursting into laughter. Soon the other man joined him.

“Can you imagine her being married to Max? That boy is afraid of his own shadow.”

“Or Flynn. Daryl told him that bats suck blood. Poor kid saw a bat, and screamed so loud we all thought a walker had slipped through.”

“Maybe we could have recruited some young men when the time was right”, Aaron said making Glenn laugh harder now. Not getting enough air.

“A dating service for all the kids out there. I could image you doing just that.”

“Sure, I think I would give splendid dating advice.”

“Daryl could be your co-host”

Aaron gave him a surprised look then he laughed so hard that he buried his head in Glenn's shoulder.

“This ain't a god damn romance novel”, Aaron almost sounded like the redneck. Both laughed again. Their frail nerves slowly breaking the last resistance they had. They fell silent again. The never-ending pain catching up with them.

“I appreciate you looking out for my daughter.”

“You're welcome.”

“I'm sorry I picked a fight with you. Truce?”, he tentatively stuck his hand out. Aaron gave him a weary smile.

“Truce.” Glenn smiled, and finished the last of his drink, placed the half-full bottle onto the step.

“See ya around, Aaron”, he made his way towards the lit house. Seeking out his daughter.

 

Tara opened, surprised when she saw Glenn standing in the doorway. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Can I talk to May?” A smile went over her face.

“Sure, I'll fetch her.” Soon May pattered down the steps.

“Dad?”, she didn't smile. Shrinking against the wall. Unsure what to do, she started to chew on her thumb. Glenn cursed himself for not taking care of her earlier.

“May, I'm sorry for how I behaved these last few weeks.” The little girl nodded. Fear glinting in her eyes. Glenn knelt down in front of her. Taking her small hands into his.

“I wanted to give you the world. A place were my little girl could live with her father and mother. When I was a little boy I lost my father, and I wanted you to grow up with both parents”, he broke eye contact shaking his head sadly. “I'm so sorry May, for letting you down.”

May leaned forward, throwing her thin arms around him. The familiar weight against him made Glenn feel like home. He softly picked his little girl up. His hands in her soft, dark hair.

“I'll take better care of you now. I promise.”

“Daddy, can you stay the night?”, something broke in Glenn when he heard the uncertainty in her voice. As if she half expected him to turn the offer down. Understanding now what Aaron had meant, when he told him about the pain of rejection a child felt.

“Of course.”

 

All alone Aaron sat on the porch. Taking another mouthful. But the more he drank the worse he felt.

He heard his dad's voice. “Son, you have to appreciate whiskey. Don't gulp it down. Enjoy it.”

“Cheers, Dad.” The pain stronger again. He knocked the whiskey down trying to forget about his father. He missed him dearly.

Something shuffled behind the walls. Aaron went into the house, and grabbed Glenn's gun that lay on the kitchen table. Tucking it into his waistband he walked to his garden. Climbed through the broken fence, and hid in the shadows, so the guard wouldn't see him. Something was definitely out there. His arm hung limply by his side as a louder shuffle made him jump.

He walked backwards stumbling against a tree. Pain blinded his vision, and for a moment he thought he would faint. His injured arm throbbing. Looking around, gun trained in front of him he isn't sure if he just imagined the whole thing. In the bright moonlight he saw no walker, and no human. A figure emerged out of the shadows. Dead leaves crunching underneath the feet of the creature. Aaron leaned against the tree checking the chamber of the gun. Snapping it shut. His finger ready on the trigger. Leaning forward the figure moved closer. In the ray of light he saw the face. Covered in blood. Morphing into the leader's face. The leader he had killed. Moaning and growling getting audible. Aaron shook his head. Trying to clear the fog in his vision away. Upon looking up again the creature all of a sudden was far closer than he previously thought it had been. The surface underneath his feet was swaying. His hands were shaking hard. The walker lunged forward, and now he could see the black blood, the rotten flesh. He pulled the gun up, and fired. Brain matter flew into the air. Black against the moonlight. The thing slammed to the ground. Pieces of flesh landing on Aaron's boots. He held the gun upright. Ready to take out any other walker. But he heard nothing. Only the ringing in his ears from the gunshot. Felt the pounding of his heart. Sweat dripped down his back. Soaking through his shirt making him shiver in the wind.

Again and again he remembered the scene of the men lying on the ground. Blood pooling from their heads. He had killed them. Only now has it sunk in. He had killed them.

“How many people have you killed?”, Rick's voice flickering into existence. Aaron stumbled feeling dizzy and sick. Softly he counted them.

“Two while we were recruiting, two Wolves, one of Negan's gang...the war against Negan...”, he didn't even know, “Maybe fifteen...then the men today. I killed three...”, he slowly added them up in his head. “Thirteen”, he gasped leaning against a tree he started to throw up. His meal splashing onto the grass. The sour taste of liquor in his mouth mixed with the taste of bile. He stumbled towards Eric's grave. Sinking onto his knees.

“I killed people today, Eric. I killed them. You'd hate me right now if you could see me”, he broke into a sob. “I can't be the man you want me to be. I can't, Eric...you left me....I can't do this anymore.”

Taking another deep breath he pulled out the gun. “I'm so sorry, Eric. But I can't live without you.” He placed the cold muzzle against the roof of his mouth. It tasted like copper, and the foul taste of walker meat. Closing his eyes his finger tightened on the trigger.

He couldn't bring himself to end it. Something was still holding him back. Maybe just the pure animalistic instinct of a human being to survive. The one thing that had kept them going through all the hardship they had to endure. Next to the only thing that mattered. Eric. Since he had laid eyes on Eric it always had been him that mattered.

When Aaron had seen the first walker he had pulled Eric inside the house. His boyfriend had been trembling. Blood caking his fair skin. Working himself into a panic. Aaron had cupped his cheeks.

“Calm down. I am going to make sure that you'll survive this. Under my watch nothing will happen.” Eric had believed him. And for the last 7 years Aaron had kept his promise. Loved ones had appeared and died in their presence, but never had they lost each other. Eric had always been their. Safe and secure by his side every night before he fell asleep. They had each others back. Eric would save him, and he would save Eric. Again and again they saved their lives. This hadn't meant to happen. Glenn was right, the walkers had slowed down considerably over the years. A few more years and this would have been over and done with. Eric and Aaron would have lived in Alexandria, for the rest of their lives. Together they would have grown old. The future they could have had...destroyed by a mere moment. Forever ceasing a whole lifetime of a person. Taking their whole possible future away.

“In another lifetime we are going to find each other again. Grow old together."

 

“Tara, have you seen Aaron?”, Tara had just put Judith to bed. Draping a blanket over the sleeping girl. She smiled when she saw Glenn lying on May's bed, an arm around his sleeping daughter.

“He told me earlier he was tired, and went to bed. Isn't he in the bedroom?” Carol shook her head as Tara closed the door behind her.

“What?”, the younger girl hissed, “Have you checked the bathroom?”

“I checked all the rooms. He isn't here.”

“Shit.”

“I'll get Rick”, Carol left Tara making her way to the kitchen. Tara remembered that Aaron and May had been talking. Light flooded the girl's room as Glenn opened his eyes.

“What's up?”

“Aaron's gone. May was the last to talk to him.”

“Wait I think I know where he is.”

“You do?”, Tara whispered back. The little girl had woken from the commotion. “Daddy?”

“Come on May. Tara needs to talk to us.” Glenn took her hand, and led her out of the room.

“Aaron was with me. We talked about...”, he stopped, shrugging his shoulders, “Stuff”, he awkwardly finished. “He'll still be on my porch.”

“Thank God”, Tara rushed downstairs. “Guys, I think I know where he is”, without waiting further she rushed towards the porch. Only to find an empty bottle of liquor on the step. She went into the house. Switching on the light. “Aaron, are you here? Aaron?”, after searching the whole perimeter she went back to the others. “I found an empty bottle of liquor there, but no sign of Aaron.”

“He's been drinking?”, Rick angrily asked.

“We've both been. I found a liquor store when I was on a run.”, Glenn confessed, “But when I left he wasn't that drunk.”

Tara sat down next to May. “You talked to Aaron this evening, didn't you?” May nodded, becoming aware of all the eyes on her.

“Yes”

“What did you talk about?”

“Nothing much”, May looked down at the pattern of the sofa. Growing suspicious Rick knelt down next to her.

“Are you telling us the truth?” She remained silent.

“May!”, Glenn's voice, filled with authority made her talk.

“I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It's a pinkie promise. And you can't break pinkie promises.”

“Sweetie”, Carol started, “You like Aaron very much, don't you?” May nodded. “He's all alone in the dark. Outside of the walls, and we're scared that he'll get himself hurt. You know how dangerous it can be. So if you really care about him you need to tell us what he told you.”

“But it was a pinkie promise.”

“Sometimes you're allowed to break a pinkie promise.” May looked at Rick with large eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah, really”, the man answered.

“Aaron promised to talk to daddy.”

“And did he tell you something else? Where he was heading after talking to your dad?” May shook her head.

“Damn”, Rick cursed.

“He was sad about today and he misses Eric as much as I miss mom.” Glenn pulled his daughter into a hug.

“Did he tell you he was sad today?”, her father carefully asked.

“No, but he had sad eyes.”

“He ain't got no gun. We need to find him”, Daryl said, worry in his voice.

“I'll come with you”, Glenn surprised everyone.

“I'm not entirely sure...”, Rick trailed off.

“I owe him. After all he has done for my family. For my little girl. I need to help.”

“Okay, we'll cover the woods. The more the better. Enid, Rosita, I want you to stay with the girls. The others with me.”

Glenn kissed May's forehead. “I promise I'll be back with Aaron.”

 

“You think he's going to do something stupid?”, Carol asked Rick who stood outside.

“You have seen him. Back in Alexandria. Since Eric's death he's off. I've seen people like him. He's unstable he is capable of anything right now.”

Carol pulled her jacket closer to protect herself from the chill.

“Grief has this way of driving you crazy.”

“I know.”

Rick gave her a concerned glance. Wanting to apologize, but bit his tongue instead.

“He's family now. We'll get him, no matter what.”

Carol nodded fidgeting with her sleeve. Not sure if they were already too late. Eric had warned them. Told them what would happen.

“My gun isn't there anymore”, Glenn had lost all color as he rushed outside.

“Shit. Okay we'll split up. Cover ground quicker. I want your eyes and ears peeled. I'm not willing to lose another person of our group.”

 

Carol crept along the outskirts of the graves. She knew Aaron would come here. Where else should he go? In the quiet night she heard nothing. Soon she could see a figure kneeling over the hill of soil.

A soft whimper made her grab her knife. A whimper similar to what she had heard behind locked doors. She almost called out her daughter's name. All these years, and she still couldn't fight against this instinct. She tightened the grip around the knife. A clicking noise made her jump, and she spun around trying to find the intruder, but nobody was there.

Realization dawned upon her, and she ran into the clearing. “Aaron, please don't....” The man was on his knees. The gun trembling in his hands. Tears rolling down his face. He wearily looked at her.

“We are all already dead, aren't we? What Rick said, that we were the walking dead. He was right”, his voice flat. Nearly drowned out by the rustling leaves. His finger curled around the trigger. Tightening the gun in his grip. She was ready to tackle him. Knock that gun right out of his hand. But she had to find the right moment. Aaron tilted his head. Something sparkling in his eyes. Like a corpse's dead eyes coming to life again.

“Don't worry Carol. I won't opt out. I'm too much of a coward to pull the trigger. My dad always told me that however bad I felt. However much I feel broken inside. Everyday we have to get up, and put on our best Sunday smile.” Something flickered in his eyes. A ghastly smile slowly spread on his face. The gun slackened in his hands. Furiously he wiped tears away with his sleeve. Other hand still staying in its position.

“They're all gone now, Carol. All of them...”, he avoided her eyes, staring into the distance. Gun a mere prop now. She wasn't sure if he'd ever shoot tonight. To end his life, or for protection.

“My niece and nephew are gone. My sister is gone. My dad is gone. Eric is gone. And they all took a part, from me with them. It's like I can't even kill myself because I'm not there anymore.” Aaron tossed the gun away. Still standing on the spot. Eyes fixed on something that wasn't in Carol's peripheral vision. As if dealing with a wounded, trapped animal Carol moved slowly. Picking the gun up, and tucking it into her waistband. The man gave her an uncertain look. As if he himself wasn't sure what is happening right now. He shivered in the thin jacket he's wearing. Looking worn out. Exhausted, all boyishness he normally possessed, washed away from sorrow.

“Let's get you inside.” He flinched when she laid her hand on his shoulder. Carefully the older woman backed away. Feeling at loss what to do. Aaron did have his moods, they all knew that. Then one of them, Daryl mostly, would fetch Eric. The ginger would sit down next to Aaron. Talking in calming tones, softly taking Aaron's hand and pulling him close.

“I promised him”, the young man's voice pulled her out off her own thoughts. “I promised him that he would make it out alive. I promised him...”, he kicked the dirt loose. The simple action made him stumbled backward and he fell against a tree.

“We need to....”

“No...No...”, he started muttering under his breath. Sliding down the tree. Ripping noises coming from the jacket that unravelled itself when the coarse bark touched it.

“I can't...please don't make me...”, Aaron shook his head. Holding his head as if in pain. She froze, knowing that Aaron wasn't that drunk. Hoping that it was just the exhaustion. But she had seen too many people break. Carol knew the warning signs. She sat down opposite to him on the wet grass. Tentatively putting her hand on his knee.

“Honey, Eric made us promise that we would take good care. He wanted you to live.”

“It doesn't matter...Eric's dead.”

“I believe that our loved ones are looking down on us. Checking in on us. My daughter is looking down on me right now.” Aaron looked up, a trace of his old self flickering in his eyes. A hint of empathy mixed with curiosity.

“Do you really believe that?”

“If I don't believe I'd kill myself. I have to believe, even if I don't.”

“JSS”, Aaron muttered, standing up. “Put on your best Sunday smile”, he says in a monotone voice. Looking right through her. He turned walking through the clearing, not casting a second glance at Eric's grave. She quickly followed him. A walker lunged from the bushes.

“Look out!”, Carol loudly whispered. Aaron pushed the creature away as if it's made out of feathers and stomped the head. A sickening crack echoing loudly. His eyes are still fixed somewhere else. They walked on. He never turned to look back once.

 

“I want eyes on him around the clock”, Rick paced on the wooden floor.

“Aaron doesn't want to be babysat by us”, Enid threw in.

“He tried to kill himself.”

The girl crossed her arms. “He would have killed himself when he really wanted to. There were so many chances to and he didn't. Aaron chose to stay.”

“Rick's right. We need to keep an eye on him”, Carol fidgeted nervously with the clasp of her knife holster. “You should have seen him in the woods. He looked right through me. He's unstable.”

“We can't lose anyone else”, Rick's glance fell on the staircase. Leading to the room of the girls. “We just can't lose anyone anymore.” Knuckles turning white as he gripped the sofa. Michonne laid her hand on his back. Planting a kiss on his temple.

Glenn made his way upstairs. “May?”, the little girl jumped up, and rushed into his arms.

“Daddy, you're back.”

“Yeah, I promised you. From now on I'm coming back.” A smile broke on her face. She clutched on to him.

“Daddy, is Aaron alright?”, May finally plucked up enough courage.

“We found him. He's just tried.”

“Sad?”, her small finger playing with Glenn's lapel.

“Yes, he's sad.”

“Are you sad as well? About mom?”, Glenn said nothing tears slowly pricking his eyes. His throat clenching.

“Of course. I'm very sad. Are you?” May nodded, wiping her eyes.

“Hey”, he softly caught her hand, “It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. Your mom was a great person. She loved us very much, so it's okay to cry.” May nodded hugging him tighter. Her tears soaking through his shirt.

 

Aaron woke up with a headache. Sluggishly he sat up. Remembering the last events. Shame he hadn't just pulled the trigger. Now he felt far too tried to do anything about his current situation. The sheets were still warm, but Eric wasn't there. He could never fall back asleep when he wasn't there.

Rain dripped down the window. Splashing onto the pavement. Aaron pulled over his jacket. Tucking Eric's photo into his shirt pocket. The whole world had taken on a gray color. As if someone had laid a gray lens on it.

“Aaron, you're up already?”, Daryl sat at the table. A mug of coffee standing on the table. Strange seeming him in a house, with a morning coffee. Keeping watch, no doubt. Well he would give him his best performance. And then maybe he would kill himself, maybe he wouldn't. His brain felt fogged. Emotions numb. He pulled the zip of his jacket up. Taking a deep breath he beamed at Daryl.

“Good morning”, he wanted to walk past Daryl, but the man stopped him, catching him by the shoulder.

“Where are ya going?”

“Outside.”

“Without breakfast?” Aaron starting laughing which worried Daryl even more.

“Sorry, but you...”, he stopped, laughing again, “I never thought I would say this about you, Daryl Dixon, but you are acting like a suburban dad right now.”

“I'm nothing like that”, Daryl crumbled glaring at his friend.

“Anyway”, Aaron calmed down, “I have a hangover so...I don't think food would be such a good idea.”

“A hangover?”, Daryl gave give him a wicked look.

“I normally don't get drunk, you know that. My sister was the one who would get really drunk...”, he stopped shaking his head slightly. Suddenly feeling quite shaky he leaned against the wall. He didn't talk much about life before. No one did. It felt finale. As if he really had to admit that all the people he loved were dead. Why he had told this now was beyond him. Daryl, ever observant, noticed. Face drawn with worry.

“Anyway, I'm going outside.”

“Wait up. I need another set of eyes for hunting.”

Aaron shrugged. “Okay, but I can't go hunting without a weapon.” A gun was pushed into his hands.

“Don't...”, the older man stopped, “Whatever....”, he muttered hoisting the crossbow over his shoulder. He was not going to turn into a suburban dad. Even if Aaron looked younger, more vulnerable. Like a child that in fact needed guidance. And Aaron started to resemble Beth even more than usual. Most of the time Aaron remained silent. A few half-hearted jokes and comments thrown in just when Daryl thought he would have to say something. There was definitely something off with his friend.

 

“For goodness' sake you are going to eat something right now”, Carol felt her temper rise. Aaron could be stubborn as hell, and she made a promise to take care of him. He flinched, the same habit she had noticed last night. Shuddering at the thought she pushed the plate towards him.

“I'm not...”

“I don't care”, her voice icy. The others all had an alarmed expression on their faces.

“Aaron, if you don't eat your meal it's gonna rain”, May quipped up. Aaron tried to give her smile, but failed. Exhaustion making it hard to keep up this farce.

“If you don't eat I'm going to force-feed it to you!”, Carol was this close to lose her patience entirely. He turned shades paler. Giving her an almost terrified look and wordless took the fork. Eating everything he had been served. Rick and Carol exchanged uneasy glances.

After he had finished Aaron propped his arms on the table. The others, one by one stood up. Stacking the dishes into the sink, and going about their business. Carol stood up.

“I'm going to take care of the dishes, and you should go to bed”, her voice wasn't stern anymore, but Aaron flinched again. “Aaron, are you alright?” Only now did she noticed cold sweat on his face. His skin pale as a sheet.

With a jolt the man bolted from the chair. Carol followed him. She heard the retching noises from the bathroom. Cursing herself for letting him eat too much, and not something easy on the stomach, like a soup. When the worst had subsided she came in. Aaron leaned next to the wall. Shivering on the cold tiles.

“I'm sorry”, bile had dripped on to his shirt. His eyes were glassy now.

“No, it's...”, she frowned when he moved away from her. Fear standing in his eyes. The same fear had been in Sophia's eyes whenever she was around her father.

“Aaron, it's okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forced you to eat. Let's get you cleaned up.”

“You're not mad?”, he asked weakly.

“No, I'm not. I'm worried, not mad.”

“Worried?”, he frowned.

“Yes of course we are all very worried about you.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't worry about it. That's what family is for”, she gave him a reassuring warm smile, but he flinched again. “What is it?”, Carol asked keeping her distance.

“Just...she used to get mad.”

“Who's she?”

“My mother...she used to force-feed me stuff. I didn't like it”, his voice weak. Her stomach lurched. Rick had told her about Aaron making such a fuss about the applesauce. Telling her that Aaron could turn out to be some crazy person after all. But soon their suspicion had died down. Winning a true alley. And he managed to befriend Daryl in a matter of mere days. Nobody had managed that. Now she understood his aversion with apples.

“I'm sorry, Aaron. I won't force you anymore, okay?” Slowly he nodded. “I'm not your mother. I'm not mad at you.”

“No, you're like my dad...he used to worry about me as well.” A faint smile, the first real smile she has seen for a while on his face, appeared on his worn out features. Quickly fading.

“Used to...”, he mutters, when he would use the past without thinking then they really had to be dead, didn't they? Carol helped him up. Pulling him into a hug.

“It's all going to be alright”, she softly says. He clutched her tightly. Trying to hold on to something in the ever-changing world. It felt like he's numb and at the same time emotions raging inside him. “Used to...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the Aaron Glenn friendship I always wanted :D


	13. Quit Playing Games

“Is he okay?”, Rick had turned up on her porch. The woman shook her head. Propping her elbows on the railing.

“Far from. He got sick again.”

“Damn.”

“We live four peaceful years behind these walls, and then everything comes crushing down again.”

“It was such a stupid mistake.” Carol nodded looking down the lane.

“Why are you here?”, finally she directed her thoughts back to the man standing in front of her.

“How does he seem to you?”

“He isn't any danger. He won't push you into a walker herd, like Glenn did.”

“Yeah, Carol I know. I should have taken better care of the situation.”

“Should have”, she agreed.

“But Glenn seems to have snapped back.”

“Glenn always was a good kid. We all knew he would come around.”

“Knew?”, Rick asked not believing her.

“If we don't believe what is there left? I believe Aaron is going to get better.”

“I don't know...”

“Well right now he's still in shock. Have you noticed how often he smiled today?”

“Too often.”

“Too bright, doesn't it remind you of something.”

“I don't know, what you're getting at?”

Carol shook her head laughing. “Of course not. Lori would have known. He smiles like the type of person who wants to make you buy a stupid vacuum cleaner. The ones who stand in front of your door in the middle of the day. He reminds me of that.”

“Well, it's not a surprise. Coming from a man who smiled after I had knocked him out cold.” She laughed.

“So you think I could talk to him tomorrow?”

“If you want to. But I don't think he'll hear anything you're going to say to him.”

“It's worth a shot.” She nodded walking towards the door.

“And Carol...”, Rick quickly said.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for taking care of him.”

“Sure.”

“I know we haven't seen eye to eye on some things...”

“Most of the things”, she interrupted.

“Yes, but I didn't want to put you all in danger. Just we have had peaceful years were we didn't kill anyone. I don't want to lose myself again. We nearly did after all that happened. We nearly turned into them.”

“I'm the last one who wants to kill people, but this is the new world. Just think about the things we've lost when we tried the peaceful path. If the prison was still standing...Think of all the people who would still be alive. The things we wouldn't have to do...the kids”, her voice broke and she turned away. Remembering the two girls. 'Look at the flowers.'

She shook her head. “Rick, I just don't want to lose anyone anymore.”

“I know, but we sent a family away. They had kids for Christ's sake, and we just sent them away. Just as well could have handed them to the walkers.”

“They were stupid, dangerous. If we had let them live with us then more people would have died.”

Rick carefully observed her. “That's just not it, Carol. I know why you are taking Aaron's side. It's revenge. I know that Eric was a great friend. I liked him as well. We all did. Of course I'm sad about what happened to Eric, to Sasha, Gabriel, Denise, Maggie. But we can't kill people who didn't...”

“As Eugene said the past is the past. We can't do anything now. Even if we wanted to”, Carol said in an icy tone. She walked back into the house, slamming the door shut.

 

Glenn pulled the blanket over his sleeping daughter. Kissing her soft hair. Carefully he closed the door. Michonne, Carl and Enid were currently in the midst of an intense poker game session. Rick was nowhere to be seen. Daryl who had been sitting at the kitchen table stood up upon seeing the Asian.

“I wanted to give you something.”

“Yes?”, Glenn asked unsure if he would get a dead mouse thrust into his hand, or something along these lines.

“Here”, he felt the familiar weight in his hand again. The chain clinking softly like a long lost melody. “Everybody's got a job to do”, he said and went outside before Glenn had the chance to say thank you.

Hershel's pocket watch in his hands. The broken glass had been glued back together. He blinked back tears.

“I'm going to bring up May to be the great woman you always were”, he whispered, “I love you, Maggie.”

 

Aaron sat quietly at the table. Eating, eyes fixed on a spot outside the real world.

“Dad”, Judith ate the last of her bread, “Can May and I go outside today?”

“Why?”, Rick asked.

“We wanted to do some practice. We always did when Sasha was around.”

“I think it's a good idea to start training again”, Michonne said.

“I'll think about it Judith, okay?” His daughter rolled her eyes, but nodded.

“Rosita, Abraham you take the first shift. Carl and Enid could you take the next?”

“Sure.”

“Good, Aaron can I have a word with you?” The latter didn't react. “Aaron?”, still he said nothing. Daryl, sitting next to him, nudged the man. Aaron flinched, looking up. An empty smile on his face. Dead eyes staring at the group.

“Yeah?”

“Aaron, could I have a word?” He shrugged his shoulders, and stood up. Following Rick outside.

“I'll say it plain and simple. I don't want you outside Aaron, because I can't trust you.” Indifference looked back at him.

“Do you know why I'm not trusting you?”

Aaron gave him a sly smile. “I guess I can think of some things.”

“Yes. First you kill men I told you not to kill then you go outside, and try to opt out. You are heading down a dangerous path, Aaron.”

“I guess...”, Aaron scratched the paint off the porch wood.

“This isn't just a game. You tried to kill yourself, you killed a group of people without batting an eye.”

Aaron started to laugh. “Rich coming from you. If your people hadn't been back in an hour, the first time we met, I would have been dead. And haven't we all tried to kill yourself? Haven't you at least once held a gun to your head. To end it all. This nightmare?” Rick said nothing, feeling desperately out of depth. Aaron was playing him. Slipping through his fingers.

“Do what you want with me. Ban me, build a prison, and throw me in....I don't care. Everything is lost anyway.” Rick laid his hands on Aaron's shoulders, shaking him.

“You are still alive, Aaron!”, the younger man flinched.

“Let me go!” The first time he got a genuine reaction out of him.

“I'm sorry”, Rick stepped back, holding his hands in the air to show Aaron he meant no harm.

“It should have been me. I am a bad person, Eric never was. I can't keep anyone safe.”

“When I lost Lori I felt the same. I went into a building filled with walkers, and killed them when I should have been with my son and my newly born daughter. I kept seeing her. Believe me, I know how you're feeling. But there are always people who need you. We need you, Aaron.”

“Don't say that, Rick. I'm only going to let you down. At the end of the day we stand next to the dead bodies from people we love.”

“No, Judith and May are living on borrowed time. We got that time from you.” Aaron slowly shook his head.

“Maybe I should have left you. Left you to die in that barn. We would have died in Alexandria when the walkers would have finally broken through the quarry. Think about it, we would have died all together. That's heaven in this purgatory.” He climbed down the steps.

“Aaron wait...” The man turned, looking older than he was. The boyish charm he possessed vanished. “Don't give me hope Rick. Do what you want with me. Just don't give me hope.”

 

Glenn saw Aaron sitting on the steps, leading to the porch of the couples former house. Staring into the distance. Beyond the wall. He wasn't sure Aaron would stay with them.

“Hey”, the man jumped slightly, giving him a dazed look. Then he blinked against the light. Most likely still fighting against a headache.

“Nice seeing you.”

“Can I sit...”

“Sure”, Aaron scooched over. For a time they said nothing. Just observing the girls kicking the football against one of the fences.

“There are going to be some boring weeks ahead of us.”

Aaron feigned curiosity. “How so?”

“Rick banned me from any more supply runs.”

“Me too.”

“This feels like detention”, Glenn said.

“You don't strike me the detention type of guy.” The younger man let out a laugh.

“Sometimes I got in a scuffle. But my friends started the whole thing. I would just sneak up, and get what I wanted.”

“Lunch money?”

“Stuff like that. But only from the bullies. Steal it back.”

“Like Robin Hood?”, Aaron asked.

“You could say that. Did you go to detention?”

“Yes.”

Glenn gave him a surprised look. “Really?”

“Yeah, but not many fights. I used to space out pretty often in class. The teacher got mad at that.”

“Ha...I wouldn't have imagined. You are far too observant.”

“I did observe just not their lessons.”

“Couldn't you talk yourself out of it?”

“I was shy.”

Glenn nodded in understanding. “Just like me. But you're a good talker now. How come?”

“Dad said if I want to have success in life I just would have to put on a smile, and act as though I had no fear. Best advice he ever gave me.” Aaron looked away again. Wiping his sleeve over his face. Pain raging in Glenn as well when he remembered his parents.

“I know I said it before, but I can never thank you enough for taking care of May.”

“No problem.”

“I owe you. If you need anything, Aaron. And I mean anything, tell me.” Absent-minded Aaron nodded. What did he need now that everything had gone?

“Are you alright, Aaron?”, something in Glenn's voice reminded Aaron of Eric. Worry lacing his bright voice.

“I'm fine”, he talked in monotone again.

“Dad, Aaron do you wanna play?”, May clutched the ball in her hands. Glenn stood up.

“If you need anything. If you just wanna talk you know where you can find me.” Aaron nodded again. His knuckles turning white as he grabbed the beam so hard the wood nearly cracked underneath the grip. Glenn laid a hand on May's shoulder.

“Who's the goalie?”

“What about Aaron?”

“He's still feeling under the weather. Give him time.”

“Okay.”

 

“You aren't saying much”, Rosita turned her eyes away from the road. Everything was peaceful. The raining had stopped. Still the mud was so thick that they couldn't drive through without getting stuck in all likelihood.

“I was just thinking”, he said.

“What about?”

Abraham leaned over the banister. “Just about the ones that left. I mean they had it. Glenn and Aaron. They had the love of their life. They had the only person left on earth...”, Rosita laid her hand on his arm. He took her small hand. Enclosing it in his big one. Kissing her fingertips.

“You are my last woman on earth. The love of my life.” She kissed his forehead. He pulled her closer. Enjoying the weight of her body leaning against his.

“But Maggie and Eric, they're gone now. It's just...We can't help them. They look as if they're in pain, but nothing on this earth can help them anymore.”

“They were happy for a long time. That's the best we can get in this world”, Rosita said in her steady voice, bitterness seeping through.

“We'll stay together.”

“Of course we will”, a kiss broke him out of his dark thoughts.

 

Aaron still sat on the patio. The same spot where he sat before Abraham had left for his shift.

“I have something for you.” The younger man looked up. His eyes glassy, skin pale.

“Here”, Abraham handed it over. A hint of surprise on Aaron's face.

“Really?”, an amused grin.

“Yeah, I wanna cheer you up a bit. You've always been the ray of sunlight in this shithole.”

“Really? I thought Daryl took that spot in our group.” Abraham burst out laughing.

“You know I'll have to hang this onto a wall”, Aaron said.

“Yeah, I mean how many can you get? The whole area is scavenged from you. Hell even the kids who went outside got you a few of these.”

“But, you know we have to hang it onto your wall”, innocently the younger man stood up. Walking past Abraham.

“Hey, where are you going?”, quickly he followed Aaron into Rick's house. Rummaging through the drawers until he retrieved a hammer and nails. Then he made his way towards Abraham's house. Knocking on the door he grinned. Practically swinging on his heels.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Watch”, Aaron flashed him one of his shit eating smiles. That looked disturbingly innocent on a man his age.

“Hey Aaron, what are you doing here?”, Eugene curiously eyed the license plate Aaron had in his hand.

“Are we doing this now?”, he asked Abraham.

“No we are not doing anything...”

“Everything alright?”, Tara leaned over Eugene. Placing her head on his shoulder.

“Yep”, Aaron said cheerfully.

“Come on in.”

“No don't let him...”, it was too late. Aaron walked straight to the living room.

“Tara, do you think we should hang it here?” He held it against the wall.

“A bit to right. Okay a few inches higher. Stop”, Tara said. “What do you think, Eugene?”

“The mission, of making this house a nicer place to live, has been successfully accomplished.”

“Great, hand me the nails”, Aaron announced. Standing haphazardly on the side of the chair. Holding the nail between his fingers.

“Hold up, you are not going to nail a fucking license plate on my wall.”

“Come on it's even D.C. You always liked that city, didn't you?”

“I swear to God if you don't get down I'm going to...”

“Is there a problem here?” Rick stood in the doorway. Hand in hand with Michonne. Abraham turned towards their leader when he heard the hammering. Aaron gave him an more broader shit eating grin, how is that even humanly possible? Next to him the ugly metal plate. Blue block letters reading: 'Taxation without Representation'.

“I'm already in fucking DC”, he muttered.

“Before you know it your walls are gonna hang full with these”, Aaron hopped from his chair like some kid on a sugar high. “Do you have paint?” the question confused him even more.

“Do you want to paint my walls as well?”

“No, please Abraham.” Again this smile, toned-downed a bit. Aaron sure knew how to play people. What concerned Abraham even more how quick he could switch from being depressed to happy.

“Yeah”, he fetched some. “We're all out of pink, sorry. But we still have white, black and...”

“Black will do just fine”, Aaron already pulled the bucket out of his grasp. In a blink and you'll miss it moment he turned serious again. “Thank you for trying to cheer me up”, then he took off.

Abraham shook his head in confusion. “What the hell was that?”

“You are just pissed off that he hung a license plate on your wall.” Abraham tried to rip it off the wall. But something stopped him. Maybe because he did like the boy, and knew what this really meant to him. Aaron didn't hang it onto his own wall because he couldn't stand it. Reminding him of happier times.

“Is this normal. Him flip-flopping between being sad and then this hyper?”

“He does it when he's nervous. Eric told me it's his defence mechanism”, all eyes turned. Daryl shoot them an annoyed look. “What? I actually listened when they talked to me. Anyway...”, if Merle would hear this. Him being best buds with a gay couple, and then talking like a posh psychiatrist...oh and not to forget, him acting like a suburban dad. “Anyway, he always did that when the groups we wanted to get back with us turned out to be completely psycho. Or when we got captured. He talked them to death. Well at least when Eric wasn't with us”, the redneck grimaced, they had turned him into a chatterbox. Rick gave him an amused smirk.

“I'll check on him”, Daryl awkwardly turned just catching a glimpse of Aaron's blue jacket disappearing into Rick's house.

 

The older man made next to no noise as he followed. Sun flooded into the girl's room. Beds made. Toys lying around on the floor. It looked almost like any other scene from the normal world. Aaron knelt down opening the lid with a screwdriver. Dipping the paintbrush into the color. A few droplets dribbling onto his jeans. Daryl stayed in the doorway. Observing his friend. His hands were steady as he painted over a name. With swift motions, his face indifferent. Soon he had finished. Closing the color pail again.

“I know you're standing there. Ever seen someone kill themselves with paint?”, Aaron still had his back turned.

“How did you know I'm here?”

“I heard you breathing.” Black smudges on his too pale skin. He turned, paint in hand. Wanting to go past Daryl. But the other man didn't let him.

“I am fine, Daryl”, an edge to his voice.

“You don't get to do that.”

“What?!”, Aaron exasperated tried to make his way through. “Move”, the undertone Daryl had come to recognize and fear. Recruiting alongside Aaron.

“Ain't getting away from here.”

“Come on, Daryl.” The hunter shook his head. Placing the paint back on the floor Aaron crossed his arms.

“So what do you want?” Smile vanished. A good sign, he wasn't playing anymore.

“You ain't fine.”

“Last time I've checked we're caught in a walker apocalypse. I think it's safe to say we are all not fine.”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Just stop”, Daryl paced the room. Feeling out of his depth. Merle would have told Aaron to suck it up, and gave him a beer. Beth would have given Aaron a hug, and somehow would have gotten him to talk. Eric would have sat next to him. Waiting until Aaron would have been ready to talk. But they all weren't here now. He examined the black blot. Erasing Eric's name. Aaron had crossed Maggie's as well. Impatiently Aaron shifted from one foot to the other.

“Sit your ass down”, Daryl ordered. They looked hilariously out of place. Standing in a girly, pinkish room. Both of them with tattered, dirty clothes. Blood still sticking onto to them. Scars and bruises on their weary faces. 

“You know your behavior is scaring me, Daryl”,  Aaron started to fidget with a teddy bear lying on the bed. If Daryl didn't say something soon, his friend would go away. 

“Okay, listen...I'm not a suburban dad, or anything but...”

“Oh, is this what it's about? It was a joke Daryl. I didn't...”

“Shut your trap!”

“Ever thinking about leading a communication skills workshop. You'd be just the one”, Aaron gave him the detached smile of a salesman.

“What'd I just say?”

“Okay, Okay”, he lifted his hands in surrender.

“Quit acting. This isn't some kind of game. When we came to Alexandria... You were the only ones who...”, Daryl struggled over the words. Aaron waited patiently. Steady eyes fixed on Daryl, mild curiosity in them.

“The last one who saw me as you did, like a good person, was Beth. You and Eric made me feel at home. You took care of me. When Rick was playing dictator, and Carol turning into some kind of housewife, you took care. We are family, Aaron. I'm just returning the favor.”

“Thanks for telling me, Daryl. I appreciate it”, a real smile flashed across his face. Soon dying down again.

“You are like a brother to me...an annoying, older one”, with a mischievous expression Aaron stood up. The teddy bear falling onto the soft covers.

“I ain't finished yet”, Daryl practically growled.

“Something bothering you?”

“Sit down.”

“Is this really necessary, Daryl? I wanted to get going. I'm feeling dizzy...”

“I know when people are lying, now sit down and listen.”

“You really have to stop being this passive-aggressive”, Aaron mumbled sitting down again. Grabbing the teddy bear, and throwing it into the air.

“This isn't about me.”

“Oh, I think it is”, Aaron said in his steady voice. Narrowing his eyes Daryl quickly crossed the room. Grabbing Aaron by the collar. No hint of fear in his face. 

“What are you doing?”

“I'm looking out for you.”

“I'm fine. I don't need your help.”

“Yes, you do.”

Aaron squirmed in his grip.

“You tried to kill yourself.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Hell, you ain't have the right to choose what you want to talk about.”

“Let me go!” Before he had only fought back a little, now he tried to pry Daryl's hand off his shirt.

“You don't get to do this. Do you think we're all this stupid? Aaron, you're not fine.”

“It fucking doesn't matter anymore!”, the scream echoed back from the walls covered in names.

“It does.”

“What do you want me to do? Hm...What?”

“I want you to stop playing someone you're not. I want to see my friend in you.”

A bitter laugh came from his lips. “The old Aaron's gone. Has been gone a long time. Do you know how many people I have killed? How many?”

“We all have killed.”

“It doesn't touch you. It never has. I can't...”, Aaron turned away, “I did it all for Eric...” Daryl loosened his grip. Finally he came through.

“It does touch us. Carol has a list with all the names. The lives she took. She doesn't want to kill anymore.”

“I killed men two days ago”, he snapped his fingers. “Just like that. As if they were nothing.” His eyes had glazed over. Staring at the black paint. “We should've ended this before. Now we're in too deep.”

“No...you wouldn't have saved us. May and Judith they wouldn't be here.” Daryl straightened Aaron's shirt out. Sitting next to him. Aaron said nothing. Uncharacteristically quiet.

“I ain't gonna lose you. You got that?”

“Why?”

“I already lost a brother. Not gonna lose another one.”

“I'm sorry...”, something from the old Aaron shimmering through.

“We are gonna stay alive for them”, Daryl pointed towards the names. His friend didn't answer. His head hung low. Tears dripping down on the blue fabric of his coat. Daryl carefully laid his hand on Aaron's shoulder. Unsure what he should do now. Merle would have told him to suck it up. Stop being a cry-baby. But Daryl couldn't. He remembered Beth hugging him. How the pain had lessened, if just for a few moments. Carefully he pulled Aaron into a hug. The younger man didn't shrink away. Held tightly onto Daryl's vest. The hunter could feel the wet tears on his own clothes now. A tremble going through Aaron.

“I miss him so much”, Aaron sobbed.

“Me too”, Daryl muttered under his breath.

 

Daryl remembered the redhead had the same likeability Aaron possessed. At first Daryl had thought Eric was no good on the outside. But it turned out he was just as capable as Aaron. Far more careful than his boyfriend. Sharing Daryl's way of looking at situations. Even if Aaron gave the impression that he was cautious he was in fact impulsive. Always thinking too highly of people. Driven by some kind of obsession to save fellow survivors. Eric slowed him down. Making him take a step back. Think over things.

After a recruiter run had gone horrible wrong Eric chewed out Rick, who's partially fault it had been, in front of the whole group. Rendering the fearless leader speechless. Eric had been so mad that even Aaron hadn't plucked up the courage to talk to his boyfriend.

Eric liked to prank people. Very bright, and just as easily bored as his boyfriend, he liked to rile people up. Far more playful than Aaron. Aaron could play the part, but he possessed a kind of maturity, a seriousness that Daryl had only ever seen in Rick. Never had Daryl found out where that stemmed from. Eric would just give him the cryptic statement. “He didn't have a nice childhood”, leaving it at that. Whereas Aaron would flip-flop between moods when he dropped the act, Eric was calm. Daryl liked to go to the man when he was feeling restless. Something about Eric made him peaceful.

 

The younger man pulled away. Wiping his eyes, straightening out his shirt. Daryl caught his wrist.

“If you need anything... someone to talk to...”, the man trailed off still feeling awkward around all this touchy- feely stuff.

“Thank you”, a weak, but for once, real smile. Daryl watched Aaron vanish around the corner.

Always would he remember what he had lost. All the times he looked into the mirror he was reminded that Merle would never come back. Every time he looked at Maggie he saw Beth's features in her. With a sick realization he remembered that he could never look at Maggie again. Now every time he looked at Aaron he remembered Eric. Pain washed over him. Biting back hard on his lip he stood up. Hoping some fresh air would do him some good.

 

Laughter sailed through the air. A few years ago Daryl thought he would never hear that again. Then he had seen Carl smile, the brightest smile he had ever seen in his life. Running towards the stranger Glenn had brought back with him. The ball came rushing towards him, and he nearly got hit.

“Sorry, Daryl”, May panted. Picking up the ball. Hair hanging in her face, he saw her in a split second. Maggie in that little girl. The man just stood still staring at her. But the girl didn't notice. Scurrying back towards the others.

“Are you okay?”, Carol walked up to him.

“Yeah...I just...”, he stumbled over the words. Emotions, long forgotten bittersweet memories clouding his mind.

“What happened? I saw Aaron and you going into Rick's house.”

“I talked to Aaron.” Carol nodded, crossing her arms.

“Is he coping?”

“No. But I got through to him. Think he listened. Sorry sonuvabitch”, Daryl huffed.

“What it is it with Aaron? You always behave like a worried big brother towards him.”

“Ain't nothing.”

“In Alexandria, when you were moping about, they only had to invite you to one dinner, and you were best friends. Even recruiting for Alexandria.”

“Ain't moped about”, Daryl grumbled not enjoying the teasing.

“Oh yes, you did, but I get it. They have something. I don't know what it is, but I like them...”, her face fell, “Liked Eric.” They exchanged a glance. Tears were shimmering in Daryl's eyes. He furiously turned away.

“Hey...it's okay”, Carol laid her hand on his shoulder.

“I talk to sappy, pretty boy and turn into a cry-baby...”, he angrily wiped his tears away.

“It's okay”, Carol pulled him into a hug.

“We are going to make it. We are all gonna make this. Our whole family. And you know who belongs to our family?” Daryl shook his head.

“You, Aaron and me.”

“What about Rick?” A mischievous smile spread on her face.

“Maybe Rick as well”, her soothing voice made Daryl feel a little bit better. Like Beth's hug had. All those years ago.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, I love Daryl and Aaron being bros. Hope we'll see some more of that on the show.


	14. Consequences

Tara and Eugene decided to go on a supply run. They needed a few electronic pieces to get the generator going. After a long-winded discussion they had finally persuaded Rick to let them go. It was a 10 minute walk away from the camp. There hadn't been many walkers in the last weeks. Most of the horde still at Alexandria. But for how long?

“Bring some fucking hinges”, Abraham paced the room, giving Rosita a very hard thoughtful look.

“What?!”, his girlfriend had enough of him being like this.

“Do you think Aaron will put some more of these up?”

“You are still fretting over this?”

“I'm living in a world gone to hell. At the very least I expect the privilege of living in an environment where I'm not surrounded by fucking license plates.” Rosita clicked the gun shut.

“Are you finished yet?”, she asked.

“Guys, what does this have to do with us?”, Tara already had the backpack slung over her shoulder. 

“I may need pliers to pull the damn nails out.”

“We'll have a look, but now we really need to get going”, before either of them could respond Tara made her way outside.

Aaron stood in the middle of the street. She could see the paint bucket dangling in his hand. Smears of black on his skin. Not moving he had his eyes transfixed on Daryl and Carol. The pair were caught in a tight embrace.

She remembered what it had felt like to be on the receiving end. How in these moments she forgot about her parents, her sister, her niece. About all the people who had died. In that momen t she felt hap py and safe. 

“It hurts to see people still have the ones they love, and we don't have that anymore.” Aaron looked at her. Nodding slowly. As if he just processed her words. Maybe he was just numb from all the pain.

“We are going on a supply run. You wanna come?” Surprise could be read on his face.

“I believe he isn't given the clearance to conduct such a run”, Eugene interjected.

“Grow up, Eugene. Do you see anyone who is checking?”, Tara countered.

“I'm in”, Aaron placed the paint on the side of the street. He was itching to go outside. Indoors and this this side of the wall had always made him slightly claustrophobic. The feeling that he had been trapped. Control slipping through his fingers. You could always regain control. In every situation. Even tied up he could regain control. Even locked in this world he could, and he would regain some kind of control.

“We'll get some hinges and pliers for Abraham”, this earned her a slight eyebrow raise from Aaron.

“It's a necessity”, Eugene added in his deadpan voice.

“And some electronic thingies...”

“They are not thingies. They are highly processed electronic hardware units. That will able us to...”

“Hey, respect the thing”, Tara laughed turning towards Aaron.

He had turned his attention back to Daryl and Carol. Who were reluctantly pulling away from each other. Eric and Aaron had placed bets on every group they observed. Who was related to whom. Which one of them was together with someone else. Apart from being a fun activity to pass the time they learned a great deal about the dynamics of the group. Since day one they had been confused about the relationship between Carol and Daryl. Having seen them kiss Eric had nearly blown their cover. Shrieking in delight. 'Nudging' Aaron so hard that the latter had a bruise for days. Still it had only been a kiss on the forehead. They weren't a real thing yet. So they had waited. Patiently, until Eric had enough. Telling, or far more ordering, Aaron to invite Daryl to dinner together with Carol. They both came. Both liked each other very much. But that was that. Now maybe they would finally come together. Aaron wanted to turn towards Eric. Tell him the news. Yet again he remembered the terrible truth. The truth he conveniently forgot again and again. Eric was gone, forever. Swallowing the growing lump in his throat he turned to the others.

“Do you think they're going to get together?” Tara and Eugene fell silent. Looking at each other with questioning glances until finally their faces lit up. 

“I be damned. They fit like Lois Lane and Clark Kent”, Eugene said in awe, “Well, you certainly have dibs on seeing this connection coming.”

“I thought they were just friends. But when I come to think about it...It would be so romantic.”

“Romantic?”, Eugene asked, looking confused.

Tara rolled her eyes. “How long do you know about these two?”

“We suspected it since the first time we saw them”, the 'we' still rolling easily off his tongue.

“Wow. You should be a dating expert.”

Despite how bad Aaron felt he had to laugh. “Glenn and I gave Daryl that job.” All three of them burst into laughter. Behaving like 14 year old high school kids who survived by knowing the latest gossip. Tara turned red, tears running down her cheeks.

“Can you...imagine...”, she got out between laughs.

“We should tell him”, Eugene suggested.

“No, don't. He's still coming to terms with me calling him a worrying, suburban dad.

“You called him what?”, Tara asked, eyes wide with excitement bursting into another laughing fit.

“Give him a few years and he'll be the sappiest of us all”, Aaron said and moved towards the gate. The others followed him.

Still laughing as they past Daryl. “What are you looking at?”, he snapped, but a smile played on the edges of his lips as he caught sight of Aaron. The younger man seemed happy for the first time in a long time. A little bit of happiness went a long way in this world. Made you take on another day. Because living was the hardest thing nowadays.

 

Her hair felt soft underneath his fingertips. Carl carefully lifted her chin. “I love you”, he murmured. Enid kissed his lips. “I love you, too.”

Footsteps interrupted them. Aaron, Eugene and Tara stood in front of the gate.

“We need to conduct a supply run”, Eugene already at the gate. Pulling down the latch.

“Hold up. Aaron is not allowed on any supply runs.”

“Oh, come on”, Tara rolled her eyes.

“I'm sorry, but these are the rules”, Carl climbed down the ladder. Closely followed by his girlfriend.

“Please, Carl. I won't do anything stupid”, Aaron gave him an innocent look. But the boy knew Aaron. He had never been close to Aaron or Eric. His father hadn't been. Aaron and Rick had been wary around each other. Circling each other as if the other was some kind of threat. Which maybe they were. But he had seen Aaron pick his little sister up. Whirl her around. Heard Judith laugh as he gently set her down again. Saw how he told both the girls a story. Both of them huddling beside him. Listening intently.

“I'm sorry, but I can't let you go out there.” Words unsaid, still hanging in the air. Carl was sick of losing people. Only now did he realize that Aaron meant family to him as well. The boy didn't want anything to happen to the man. Pain flaring up when he remembered what happened to Maggie and Eric. To Morgan, Sasha, Gabriel and Denise.

“Carl, let him go”, Enid had put her hand on his shoulder pulling him away. “After my parents died, and I met you in Alexandria, I needed to go outside. The walls felt like a prison. Let him go.”

“I can't”, Carl said in a low voice. Not wanting Aaron to hear them.

“Tara and Eugene are with him. They'll make sure nothing happens.”

“But my dad trusts me.”

“Your dad doesn't know.”

Carl nodded slowly. Making a decision. “You can go. But Tara, Eugene, you have your eyes on Aaron all the time. And only for two hours. After that I can't guarantee you that dad doesn't find out.”

They nodded solemnly.

“Thanks”, Aaron followed the other two.

“You made the right decision”, Enid said.

“I hope so.” Carl watched them walk outside the safe zone. Into the woods. “I hope so.”

 

“Slow down, girls”, Rick panted. Jumping up and down in excitement the children raced towards the clearing. He caught up with them.

“Okay, we really all need to slow down when we're outside. It may seem peaceful right now. But they could jump us at any time.” Instantly they slowed down. Judith pulled the gun out of her holster. Training it ahead. Copying Rick's footsteps scanning the area. Pulling her knife out, May crept along the grassy ground. A snap made all three turn their heads. Judith motioned towards May to cover the left side and her father to go right. She moved forward.

He marveled how experienced these children were. And it worried him. If they grew up what would they become? Would they just be in a world filled with psychopaths, or could they still learn that some people's lives were precious? They found nothing.

“It could have been a bird”, May nervously combed back her dark hair. Eyes frantically scanning the area.

“Yeah, could be just that. You both did good.” Rick could feel the presence of someone else. “Let's go back to the camp” He took the girl's hands. Quickly they covered ground. Again Rick could hear the snapping of branches. Out of the corner of his eye Rick saw a figure move. Quick, precise. Not as clumsy as a walker would move.

“Daddy, is everything okay?”, Judith whispered. Rick shock his head. Opening his mouth, but he never got the chance to speak.

“Hey...Hands in the air where I can see them.” A group of men approached them. All carrying rifles. Slung around their backs. They placed themselves around the three in a semi-circle. The only woman in the crowd stepped forward. A gun in her hand. Shaking. Her husband stood next to her.

“You kicked us out of your group. Because of you my girl is dead”, venom in her voice. Rick recognized the pair. A sick feeling starting in the pit of his stomach making its way up.

“And you attacked our men”, another man said from within in the group. “You'll pay for this. Ned”, he addressed the man standing next to the woman, “Do you wanna pay the honors?”

“No wait. This isn't the man responsible. Kaitlin don't shoot him.”

“Why?”, tears stood in her eyes.

“We want the one in the blue jacket!”, Ned stepped closer towards Rick. “You give us the one in the blue jacket, and we'll let you and the girls go. Right?”, he turned towards the leader of the group.

The man shrugged. “You heard what Ned said.” Judith, May and Rick were seized. Duct tape wrapped around their wrists.

“Let me go!”, Judith thrashed.

“She is a feisty one”, the man laughed, “Honey, calm down.”

“Don't hurt them”, Rick pleaded.

“We won't if you cooperate. Show us the way.” Rick nodded, leading them towards the camp.

 

“Abraham will be so glad that we finally got some hinges. God, I thought he would never shut up about it”, Tara carried a large box filled with electronic pieces.

“What exactly do you want to build with these things?”, Aaron asked. Peering into the box he carried.

“There are several options I'm gonna review. Sort them for the usefulness. For instance we could build a....”

“Stop!”, Tara interrupted Eugene.

“This isn't good”, Eugene saw a group of people walking up to them. Leading the way Rick. His hands tied behind his back. May and Judith were bound as well.

“Weapons on the ground. Hands where we can see them.”

“Shit”, Tara whispered.

One man stepped up. “No use to run away now. We have an offer to make you will find interesting." 

 


	15. Sacrifice

“We have a offer to make you will find interesting”, the man said, holding the gun against May's head. They placed their cargo on the ground. Raising their hands. Edging closer towards the group.

“That's him. The one we wanted!”, Kaitlin raised her gun. Training it on Aaron. “He's the one who killed our daughter.” The young man had turned several shades paler when he recognized the people.

“Now let's not get overexcited”, the leader put his hand on the gun.

Kaitlin spun around. “You promised...You promised to help us find that son of a bitch.”

“Yes we did. And when we get back to our camp you can do whatever you want with him. Bash his skull in, disembowel him, throw him into a herd of walkers. Whatever tickles your fancy. But not here. It's too dangerous.”

“He's right”, Ned threw in, “We want you. What's your name?”

“Aaron.” The leader gave Ned a sign to shut up.

“Here's how it'll go. Aaron comes to us and we'll let your people go. No hard feelings. It will be the end of this fucked up situation. We have the sacrificial lamb.”

“Listen nobody needs to get hurt”, Rick started. He had seen the ravenous look the leader had given Aaron. A tiger watching its prey.

“Nobody will get hurt. Just Aaron here. That's all. One death for three lives. That's something, isn't it?”

“No, I can't let you....”

“He's right, Rick. It's my fault the girl is dead. I should pay the price”, Aaron said in his usual steady voice. Walking to the center of the semi-circle. Raising his hands. A smile on his face. An eerie sense of déjà vu set in. The same smile all those years ago after he had bound Aaron to the wooden beam. After he had knocked him out. Aaron still smiling at him. Ned wrapped the duct tape tight around Aaron's hands. Shoving him forward. Rick, May and Judith were pushed into the middle.

May turned around. “Don't hurt him.”

“Sorry sweetheart, but we will have to kill him.”

“No, don't...you can't kill him”, Tara flung her arms around the little girl, just in time before she could run back to her captors.

“Let me go. We need to save him...”, Tara held her tight.

“Shouldn't we do something, dad?”, Judith asked.

“We can't. I'm sorry”, Rick had his eyes fixed on Aaron.

Who managed to look at the little group. “You've got to leave me. Enjoy your life”, May started to cry. “I'm glad to have known you. I have never regretted taking you in. May, keep an eye on my license plates, would you?”, the girl nodded.

“Enough of this. Let's go”, the leader ordered. Ned placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder. Pushing him forward.

“No”, May's voice carried over the empty landscape.

“Damn I hope this girl shuts her damn mouth. She's gonna get us killed”, the leader muttered.

“She's just a child”, Kaitlin wearily said.

“I don't care if it's a child or a grown-up. He didn't either.”

Aaron didn't say anything. Eyes fixed on the ground. His arms were hurting again. Duct tape far too tight. Slowly cutting of his bloodstream.

 

After trudging through the empty countryside they arrived at wooden walls. The leader shouted instructions to a teenager, standing on the wall patrolling. Soon the gate opened and they walked in.

The first thing Aaron noticed that there weren't any children around. Only grown-ups and teenagers. Then the silence accompanying them as they made there way through the huge yard to a small building with a faded yellow high voltage sign on the door.

“Hey! Where do you think you're going? We wanted to take care of him”, Kaitlin stopped the leader.

“Oh...you wanted to that now? Sorry, I thought you wanted to see your son first.”

“Okay, we'll leave you to it”, he nodded towards his men. One of them grabbed the woman. The leader pulled Ned off Aaron.

“What are you...”

“Do you really think we give a rat's ass about your stupid girl? Or your personal vendetta against this guy? We only helped you so we could get our hands on him. Because he killed our men.” The leader unlocked the heavy, iron door. “We are not sure what we'll do with ya all. Gonna have a little think about it.”

 

Aaron was pushed into the dark room. He lost his balance. Ripping his jeans open when he fell unceremoniously onto the hard ground. Biting his tongue as hard as he could so he wouldn't scream from the pain that shot through him as he landed on his injured arm.

“Get in there!” Ned and Kaitlin followed. At least they could lessen the fall with their arms. A few beams of sunlight came streaming in. From what Aaron could make out the room was empty. But after his eyes adjusted to the dim light he saw something move in the corner.

“Mom, dad?”, a child said.

“Henry?”, Kaitlin rushed towards her son. Hugging him. “Are you okay sweetheart?”

“Yes.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“No, I thought you wouldn't come back.”

“We did”, she turned giving Aaron a strange look, “Sweetie, I just have to deal with something.”

She, followed closely by her husband, made her way over to him.

“We should kill him right now”, she whispered.

“No, not here. Not with Henry watching. Besides, we don't even know how long Danny will keep us here. What if he turns? What if his body starts to rot with us in here?”

“You want this murderer to sit in the same room with our son?”, she hissed.

“Listen, I'm sorry for kicking you out of the camp. I was sick and mad with grieve”, Aaron was interrupted from Kaitlin.

“Shut up, I don't want to hear your excuses.”

“I'm sorry you lost your daughter, I really am. But through your actions I lost the person who mattered most to me. He saved you back there.”

“Don't you even dare...”, the mother shoved him against the wall. Hands wrapped around Aaron's neck. Pressing down. He struggled, but the whole day had taken its toll on him. Losing his strength fast. Pain clouding his mind and weighing his body down. A last thought sailed through his mind. He wasn't killed by some walker, but from strangulation. Irony. Then the dark ceiling slowly fading out into white oblivion.

 

“Where's Aaron?”, Enid greeted them. Scanning the crowd. “What happened?”, she added upon seeing May's face.

“Why did you let Aaron out?”, Rick stumped into the camp. His son quickly climbed down the ladder.

“I'm sorry. We thought that....”

“It was my fault. I persuaded Carl to let them go”, Enid interjected. Daryl and Carol joined them.

Being drawn by the ruckus all the other inhabitants gathered. “What did he do this time?”, Abraham asked. Rick said nothing running his fingers through his hair. May rushed towards her father. Flinging herself into the young man's arms.

“What's the matter, May?”

“Aaron, they took him. The people who made Eric die...they were there...they took him. They told me that they're gonna kill him...” The others all turned to the girl.

“Is this true?”, Carol asked. The man nodded. “How did they get Aaron?”, the woman asked further.

“They took us. May, Judith and me. They wanted a trade. Set us free if we give them Aaron.”

“Why the fuck did you leave Aaron with these psychos?!”, Daryl asked.

“Listen, it wasn't just the family we left to die on the road. The people we met in Alexandria. The people Aaron started to shoot when I told everyone not to, these people wanted him too.”

“So you just gave him up? Knowing that they'll kill him?”, Daryl hissed at Rick.

“Aaron put the girls, the whole group in danger.”

“Great, so we just let him get killed? Great, Rick. Just great! I'm getting him back.” 

“No, they are armed to the teeth.”

“He's family. I thought he was your family too.”

“Yes he is, but...”

“If Carl, Judith or Michonne would be with these people you would go. Just remember Rick, Aaron is the only reason your children are still alive”, Daryl seized Rick at the collar. Glaring angrily at him.

“I think we should get him out before it's too late”, Carol said putting her hand on Daryl's shoulder. Slowly pulling him back.

“Do we know the location?”, Michonne asked.

“We'll track it”, Daryl huffed.

“I'm in”, Carol said.

“Me too”, Abraham joined.

Eugene and Tara stepped forward. “We'll help.”

“Okay, we'll go as soon as you can. We'll just get Aaron. That's it", Rick decided.

“Should we stay here. Isn't it too dangerous? If they don't know the location already they'll find out”, Carl threw in. Michonne glanced at Rick. Hadn't she warned him that this would be just another camp they would stop by. A camp they could never settle in.

“We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Now we have to focus on rescuing Aaron. I'll come with you. Now all the ones who stay here hide in the buildings. Keep watch.” He caught up with Daryl who glared at him.

“What do you want now?”

“I didn't have any choice back there. But we'll get him out, okay?”

“I just don't want to lose another brother”, Daryl grumbled turning away from Rick.

 

“Why would they throw us in here? Why use us like this?”

“I don't know, Kaitlin.”

“Danny will let us go, won't he?”

“We don't know who these people are. I suggest we make a run for it.”

“A run. Are you even listening to yourself, Ned? The last time we did that we lost...we lost her. We have to stay in a camp.”

“This camp is just as dangerous as being in the open.”

“But we had good camp going.”

“They are dead now. Kaitlin, they are all dead. Most of the people here aren't as kind and helpful as they have been in our first camp.”

“Maybe they'll let us out again.”

“Kaitlin listen to yourself. They have even thrown a kid in here. They are not good people.”

Their discussion echoed against the walls of the empty room. Aaron had pretended that he was still out. The sun was lower. Light only coming sparsely in the room. He decided he had heard enough. Opening his eyes he tried to pull himself into a more upright position.

“He's waking up.”

“I've got this”, Ned beckoned her to stay put. Then he made his way towards Aaron. “We don't want to work with you, but it seems we are stuck in this together”, he started in a low voice.

“I heard you wanted to escape. I have an idea”, Aaron rasped, starting to cough. His throat felt like sandpaper.

“Yeah?”, Ned wasn't going to trust him.

“I have a few hinges”, he coughed again, “We can sharpen them. Use them as a weapon.”

“A weapon?” It felt strange that someone still cared for not killing people. Aaron wasn't even sure Ned had wanted to kill him in the first place.

“They'll check on us sometime. We'll use the hinges. Cut the artery in their necks. It's the only way out. Or do you see another way?” Ned turned paler. Looking up at the rooflight.

“The glass is too thick...Shit maybe you're right”, he threw a glance towards his son. Still sitting in the corner.

“We should get you out of the duct tape”, it burnt when Aaron could finally stretch his hands. Pain shooting through every finger. Clumsily he opened his jacket pocket. His grip still too weak. The metal objects clattered to the ground. Causing Kaitlin to look up.

“What are you doing? Why have you untied him. He killed our daughter, and you just...”

“Stop it. He didn't kill her, okay. If you say that he killed our daughter than we killed his boyfriend.”

“You are siding with this...”

“He's helping us get out. Here...”, he handed her a hinge.

“What in God's name I'm supposed to do with that?”

“Sharpen it. Then when someone comes we'll jam it into their neck.”

“Have you both gone completely mad?”

“Kaitlin, just do it. Henry, hands up.” The boy caught a hinge. Without further ado he scraped the metal on the concrete floor. Screeching sounds creating echoes bouncing off the walls. Kaitlin opens her mouth again but can't say anything. Rendered mute. A knock on the door interrupted them.

“Hide the hinges”, Aaron hissed.

 

 


	16. When Fear Leaves You're Truly Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, lovelies just to warn you before you start reading. This chapter contains descriptions of torture.

A loud screeching from the key turning in the lock followed the knock.

“We're taking the boy”, heavy boots creating an echo. Henry pressed himself into the corner.

“Come on!”, the man stepped closer.

“I regret many things, but I don't regret killing your people”, Aaron said loudly. It worked.

The man pointed the gun at him. “We have something very nice planned for you.” Laughing, he showed his teeth.

“But later”, a voice came from outside, “First we take the boy. Orders.” The gun didn't move. Cold metal on Aaron's skin.

“What if we take care of this right now?”, the man hissed.

“No, the boy. C'mon you know the plan.”

“Fine”, reluctantly he took a step back.

“Ah, I thought so. Not enough balls to revenge your men”, Aaron spit into the general direction of his captor.

“You little shit”, rough hands pulled him up. Dragging him outside.

“Hey, what are you doing? Danny said...”

“I don't care what Danny said. The boy can wait. We still have enough bait. I want him, now.”

“We aren't supposed to kill him. Danny wanted to do that.”

“Who said anything about killing? We're just gonna have some fun. And then we'll let him rot in this goddamn cell.”

 

They dragged him through the center of the camp. There weren't many people around, mostly middle-aged. Still no children in sight. An industrial building towered over the whole complex. Nobody stopped them, but Aaron felt their eyes on him. Some filled with hatred, some with pity, some just stared with indifference. His arm burned again, and instinctively he tried to pull away. The man noticed.

“Get a bright lamp. Will ya? I think this one is injured already.”

“Whatever”, the other man checked his wristwatch. “You've got half an hour. Then we have to go back. God help us when this one dies, and turns on us. We'll be neck deep in shit.”

“Jeeze relax.”

“I'm warning you, Dave.”

“I got the message. Now go.”

Dave shoved Aaron into a room covered with tiles. Chains were let into the wall. 

“Now for you, little bastard.” A well-aimed kick to the knees sent Aaron tumbling down. Grime and dirt digging deeper into his ripped jeans and bashed up knees. The heavy chains started to jingle, and he slapped the heavy cuffs on Aaron's wrists. A click and he was secured. His captor sat down onto the cold tiles.

“You are quite pasty looking. Hope you haven't been bitten yet.” Leaning forward he laid a hand on Aaron's forehead. Again Aaron winced. The hand cool and rough against his skin.

“Well, ain't a walker fever”. Dave smiled at him. Brushing Aaron's hair to the side. Taking a look at the faded cut on his head. “Someone got into a fight there. My boys had these cuts as well. Got punched around in the schoolyard. Hell, you should have seen the other kids after my boys were done with them. You ever got into a school fight?”

Aaron didn't answer. Eyes darting across the room. The door was closed. A small window, high up, letting the dying light of day in. A few panels from the ceiling were missing, creating a direct way to the roof  . Maybe he could fit through, but even if he could did it matter? He was trapped in these thick heavy metal chains. Without any means of escaping the cuffs he was damned to stay where he was.

Daryl had once told him that his brother had cut through his own hand to escape handcuffs. This horrifying story had made Aaron shove the last piece of food towards his friend. Strangely enough Rick turned pale as well. Leading Aaron to believe he had something to do with it. Police Sheriff and all.... Well, he didn't have that option right now.

“Hey, I'm talking to you!” Had he really just spaced out? Dave pointed his gun at Aaron. The cold metal feeling familiar now. Fear, that had normally accompanied him, didn't seem to come anymore. When fear left you, you were truly alone.

Dave's eyes narrowed. “I could fucking kill you right now. These aren't blanks...Say something goddamnit.”

But Aaron didn't. Normally he would talk his way out of it, but he felt too exhausted right now. The adrenaline, normally sending him into a nervous monologue, wasn't kicking in. His nervousness had faded away. Why should he be nervous or even afraid of dying?

“Just get it over with”, he tiredly commented. He received a hard knock with the butt of the gun. Sparks fading his vision covering over the spinning room. Pain shot through his head.

“Fucking lunatic”, Dave muttered standing up, and pacing the room. “Fucking headcase.”

“Are you capable of saying anything without swearing?”, he received a hard knock against his head, the pain had cleared his senses. Even if he didn't want to live he needed to get the kid out of this hellhole. Because these people were rotten to the core. Something didn't feel right with this place. Instincts screaming to run as fast and as far away as he possibly could.

“Ah...now you're talking.” He seized Aaron's collar. Dark eyes gleaming at Aaron, but uncertainty flickering in them. He shoved Aaron unceremoniously against the hard wall. Making Aaron experience whiplash. He felt sick now. Bile rising up as he tried to swallow. Only making the nausea worse.

“Let's get you cooled down”, Dave grabbed him by the hair. Dragging him towards something. Aaron felt like he had lost time. When he had tried to keep himself from throwing up, he couldn't care less for what had been going on.

He was dunked into water. The sudden cold created pain that nearly split his skull. Trying to break free he started kicking, thrashing. But his feet didn't get any footing. His boots slipping on the wet tiles, resulting in him banging his knees on the hard tiles. This time they didn't just hurt. They burnt. Just like his lungs. Pain clouding his senses. When he thought he couldn't take anymore someone pulled him back up. Breaking the surface he greedily gulped fresh air. The grip loosened, and he fell on his injured side. This time he couldn't bite his tongue to stop a scream. Curling in on himself he still gasped for air. Spluttering water mixed with bile.

“Jesus, he's gonna choke.” Someone turned him on his side. His wrists burnt. The heavy metal grinding against the skin. Rubbing it raw.

“That's all you've got. You were so tough, and now....”, Dave sneered crushing his boot on Aaron's injured arm. Leaning down he pulled a knife out of his pocket. “Let's play a little game. Called 'How much pain can you endure till you pass out?'.”

Shifting his foot onto Aaron's chest, making it harder to breathe, Dave leaned down. Setting the tip of the knife on Aaron's shirt. Trailing down towards his arm. Aaron heard the rip of fabric coming apart. If this Danny figure would kill him in the most painful way maybe he should take this chance?

“I don't think you have the guts to kill me, do you?” Anger started building in the other man. Dave was too impulsive. This was going to be easy. Aaron smiled.

“What did you just say?”

“Oh, you didn't hear me? Sorry, I can't talk any louder...”, he stopped, coughing again. His throat felt like someone had set it on fire. Thin red threads of saliva dripping out from the corner of his mouth. “I said that you don't have the guts to kill me.”

The knife sunk into his skin. Aaron tried to turn the pain into concentration.

“That's why your boys aren't here right now. You were too scared to kill them...the walkers...they got them, didn't they?” Hurt flickered inside the man's eyes.

“You fucking...”, the knife went deeper. Running quickly along his arm. Sending waves of pain through Aaron's body. Making the edges of vision fade out. Is this how Maggie had felt in her finale moments? Pain ripping her apart? His fingertips turned numb.

“Hey, stop it! Now!”, he heard a sharp slap. The cold gave away for warmth as the pain ebbed away. At first Aaron thought he lost his arm, and was falling into shock. But then he noticed that Dave wasn't there anymore.

The other man hauled Aaron onto his feet. Took the cuffs off and led, or far more dragged him back.

Nobody said anything. All the citizens looked uninterested as if this was something they witnessed everyday. It was darker now. Someone had made bonfire.

The man opened the door of their holding cell. Ned and Kaitlin looked horrified when they saw him. He sunk to the ground as the man carefully lowered him down. Ned was by his side in a few seconds talking, but Aaron couldn't hear anything anymore. Only Maggie's screams. Mixing with memories of Eric's pale body

 

Carl checked the umpteenth time if he had enough bullets. Letting the chamber snap shut again.

“Hey, we'll hold this fort. Remember when the wolves came? We managed then, we'll manage now”, Enid laid her hand on his. “It's going to be alright. We are going to get through this.”

“It's my fault. Dad told me not to let either Glenn, nor Aaron outside. And Aaron's still weak from his injuries. Even if he doesn't do anything stupid he could get into trouble. I mean he is already in trouble.”

“Don't play the 'What-if' game. We are here. Right now we are here. Mistakes were made, but we are going to fix them.”

“You can't fix death”, Carl darkly said.

“Your dad is going to get Aaron back. Everything is gonna turn out fine.”

“No, it's not. Stop giving me hope. Stop being this naïve”, anger made him snap. “We have lost too many already. Too many.” Carl glanced over at the houses. Seemingly peaceful. No blood on the doors or windows. Carol and Tara had been dedicated to wash them off, the dark crimson reminder of death. Mostly because Aaron and the girls had gotten blank looks whenever they passed the spilled blood.

She looked outside. Tears blurring her view.

“May, come away from the window. It's not safe”, Glenn pulled her away. Judith and Rosita were sitting at the kitchen table, drawing on a sheet of paper.

“Dad, do you think that Aaron's dead?”, sobs shaking her small body. It broke his heart to see her like this.

“I don't know. But Rick and the others are doing everything to save him. You know once mom and me, we were kidnapped as well.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you know what? Rick saved us. Rick, Daryl and Michonne.” May's eyes had become as wide as saucers.

“Did you get hurt?”

“A bit. But we survived...”, Glenn remembered Maggie, now buried under the ground. How many close calls they had. Their child sitting in front of him. A real miracle.

“But all the others are dead. Aaron will die as well, won't he?”, May's small fingers clawed into the covers of the sofa. “That's what happens. They all die”, something cold set in. The same look Glenn had seen countless times in Carl's eyes. Hope blown out like a candle.

“Rick is going to find Aaron." They both knew it was an empty promise.

 


	17. Bloody Hinges

“I'm not doing this for you”, a woman's voice pierced through Aaron's skull. As he tried to get his bearings.

His arm throbbed badly. Everything felt sticky. The sleeve of his shirt clung to him. Slowly he came to his senses. Kaitlin had just tied a scarf around his arm.

“It'll stop the bleeding”, she looked pale, exhausted. Wisps of hair hanging in her face.

“Are you okay?”, Ned knelt next to him.

“He is dehydrated, and on top of that he's lost a lot of blood. I don't know if we can...”, Kaitlin stopped. The first time she had directed worry towards him. Maybe he was getting delirious. Aaron wasn't sure. “If it hadn't been for him, Henry would have been taken from these lunatics.”

The word 'lunatic' made Aaron nervous. Remembering Dave. Leaning over him with that knife.

“Can he go?”

“It depends on...”

“I'm alright”, his voice sounded like he swallowed gravel, “Are the hinges sharp enough?”

“Yes”, Ned showed him the metal object.

“They'll do”, he wanted to stand up, but the room started spinning. Kaitlin pushed him down.

“Not so fast. We'll wait a little, or you'll collapse, and be a burden for us.” Ned nodded as well. His wife pulled him away from Aaron, and they moved back to their respective side of the cell. Wearily Aaron closed his eyes again.

Small footsteps scuffled across the floor. He could almost feel the soft sheets and Eric's body lying next to him. Another shuffle, and when he opened his eyes Evy or Percy standing in front of their bed. At some godawful hour. “Uncle Aaron, I can't sleep anymore. Can we do something?” Aaron remembered picking the child up, and carrying it into the living room. How peaceful life had been.

Opening his eyes he saw the boy.

“Are you alright?”, Henry sat down next to him. Giving him a once over.

“I'm fine. Thanks”, Aaron winced at the sound of his own voice.

“After we've escaped with you can we join your group?” His eyes already calculating Aaron's every move.

“We'd have to vote.”

“Like last time?”

“Yes”, Aaron felt sick again. How could he throw out two kids? The blood of the girl was on his hands.

“Ma says I shouldn't trust you, but you made the bad men take you and not me.” Henry turned his head looking towards his parents. Kaitlin had leaned against the wall. Eyes closed. Ned kept watch on his son, but let him talk to Aaron.

“How old are you?”

“Seven. How old are you?”

“Older.” Seemingly happy with that Henry leaned against the wall. Glaring into the darkness. After a while he turned back to the man sitting next to.

“Does that hurt?”, his finger pointing towards Aaron's arm. The scarf already soaked through with blood.

“I'll survive.”

“I played football in our camp, and one of the older boys shoved me. I fell to the ground and my knees looked just like your arm.”

“Yeah?”

Henry nodded. “Now they're dead”, he sadly said. Aaron tried to pull himself up. Wincing slightly as he moved his arm.

“What happened?”, he asked the boy.

“The biters came, and they attacked us. Our fence broke.”

“Were you the only ones left?”

“No there were others, but we lost them on the road. Tommy died as well.”

“Who's Tommy?”

“My best friend.”

“I'm sorry”, Aaron offered not sure what to say. It never got easier even if they were surrounded by death on daily basis.

“Do you have a best friend?”

“Yep”, despite the situation Aaron had to smile. If anyone had told him that that hunter would turn out to be his best friend. God, if his mother had known she would have not only fed him apples but poison.

“What's his name?”

“Daryl”

“Is Daryl part of your group?”, Henry asked.

“Yeah he is. And he has the coolest weapon.” Henry's eyes had grown wide.

“What weapon?”

“A crossbow.” Henry marveled over this.

“Like Green Arrow”, he finally said. Aaron tried to hide his laugh between coughs. Imagining Daryl in green tights was the best. He would have to tell him...Aaron's mind stopped dead in his tracks. Even if they escaped he wasn't sure if Rick would allow him back. After all he had put Judith's life in jeopardy. Maybe he had seen Daryl for the last time.

“Are you alright?”, the child's voice flitted into his brain.

“Yeah.”

“No, you're lying.”

“I'm just worried about Daryl, that's all.” Henry nodded, understanding.

“I worry about mom and dad. Before that I worried about Claire...”, he stopped scrunching his head in confusion. “She's dead now.” Pronouncing the sentence as if it were in a foreign language.

“Wasn't the man who died your best friend?”, Henry suddenly switched the topic.

“He was more than a best friend”, Aaron hoarsely said. Trying to keep the pain at bay.

“Henry, come here for a minute”, Ned shouted from across the room. The boy scrambled to his feet. “Here, do you think you can make it a little bit sharper?”, Ned gave him a hinge then made his way towards Aaron.

“When Kaitlin wakes up we'll make a run for it. Can you manage?”

“Yes, I'm fine.”

“Good...Listen...”, he halted again a fond smile on his face as he watched his son, “If anything happens to us. If we are parted, or get shot, bitten...whatever. Promise me to take care of Henry.”

“I...”, Aaron at loss for words.

“You loved him. The man who died, didn't you?” Aaron nodded. “He saved my family. You both tried to help us. I understand why you wanted us out after he died. Partly it was our fault. Let me be clear. I'll never forgive you for what you did. Because of you my little girl is dead”, tears flashed in his eyes, “But if Kaitlin and I die then I want to give my son into the care of someone who has saved my children twice. Beggars can't be choosers, right?” Aaron still nodded in wonder. “So will you take care of my son?”

“Of course.”

“Good”, the man stretched out his hand and Aaron shook it. Sadly he now realized that in another life he and Ned could have been friends.

 

“It's time”, Ned heard the footsteps coming nearer. Kaitlin and Henry were in the corner of the room. It had gotten so dark that they couldn't see them from their spot behind the door.

Someone slid the key into the lock. The door opened. Screeching echoing in the dark room. Dave smirked upon seeing Aaron.

“I thought you would bleed out on the floor”, his eyes wandered around the room. Stopping at the dark puddle of crimson. “Oh, you already have. Tough guy. Anyway Danny wants to see you. Let's go.” He grabbed Aaron's injured arm hauling him forward.

“The woman and the boy as well”, Dave impatiently said. Nodding to his partner, the other man moved forward into the darkness.

“Should have brought a torch. Damn dark in here”, he muttered. After some time they heard him again.

“You don't have to be afraid boy...”, a high pitched scream of pain echoing in the cell.

“What the hell?”, Dave peered into the dark. Aaron slammed his hinge into the man's neck. Warm blood came spurting out, as the man let go in surprise. Bringing his hand to his neck. Blood leaked through his fingers. The same stench reminding Aaron of Eric's last moments on earth. Another shudder went through the man as Ned brought his hinge down as well. Leaving it embedded in Dave's neck.

“Kaitlin, Henry, are you alright?” His wife came rushing towards him.

“He's out.” Ned hugged her and took Henry's hand.

“We have to be quiet. Sneak around the corner. Make sure nobody is going to follow us.” Blood dripped onto Aaron's boots. Dave's eyes rolled back as he crashed to the floor. Skin pale and sweaty. Lips blue.

His own heart painfully beating in his chest. Aaron had to move, but he couldn't. Feeling light headed all of a sudden. Dave started to morph into Eric. All this blood covering the bite marks. A death sentence.

“Damn it Aaron, we need to move. Come on”, Ned pulled him away. They took the guns from the motionless guards. The cold air brought Aaron back to his senses. The other man gave him a doubtful glance. Aaron nodded, Ned motioned them to go forward.

 

Sitting around the corner were men. Huddled around a bonfire. Their leader, Danny, looked like a ghoul as the flames danced across his face.

“We'll have a grand night. The little ones are the most effective”, he announced.

“But they're just...”

“It doesn't matter. They keep this camp safe. They keep you and me safe. Aren't they supposed to take care of the next generation...Don't look at me like that. Because of these necessary sacrifices we're still alive.”

“Do they like fresh meat more, or why are the little ones the best?”, someone else asked.

“Yeah, it's like animal meat. The younger, the tastier”, a fat man joined in. Earning him laughter from the crowd.

“How long will she keep them busy?”

Danny didn't answer immanently. Finally he said, “We'll get the two girls from the other camp. They'll work nicely. Who knows, maybe they have more kids there. And later we can take the teenagers.” Aaron turned slightly. He had heard this talk before, back in the day when it had only been him and Eric. Observing people. Whatever he did now he needed to warn Rick.

“What are we going to the with the prisoners?”

“We'll take the boy as bait. Have some fun with the parents. Find out if she's pregnant...”, he snickered to himself. Kaitlin's knuckles had turned white. Gripping the grip of her gun harder.

“And...pretty boy...what's his name...Aaron...we'll let him stay in the cell for a little longer. Not too long, or he'll reek like death, or turn. No, we'll tie him up when the time has come. Not fresh meat, but close enough.” They started to laugh again.

“Where the hell is Dave anyway?”

Aaron motioned to the others, they needed to go right now. It was a slow walk. Their eyes peeled to the ground. As not to step on a dry twig or branch. Always hearing the men talk, laugh, swear. If one of them made one wrong move, took one wrong step they'd be done. Finally they came towards the clearing.

 

The sky had paled considerably. Making way for a new day. How long had he been out? They walked more freely now. Encountering only a few walkers. Which Ned and Aaron quickly dispatched. A few walker bodies nowadays were so decayed that you could sometimes just snip with your finger against them, and they would dissolve under your touch.

Ned and Kaitlin wearily trudged on. They hadn't talked since they escaped. Aaron wasn't even sure if he shouldn't just go his way. Tell them to warn Rick. He trusted Ned to deliver the message. Henry fell behind, teeth chattering.

“Are you okay?”, Aaron whispered.

“Yeah, just cold.” In his thin t-shirt that had been covered in blood blots he looked like he had just played with paint. May's t-shirt had looked exactly like that after they had painted the room.

Awkwardly Aaron shrugged out off his jacket. Trying not to jostle his injured arm too much. He draped it over the boy. Henry looked up in surprise.

“Thanks”, he finally said cautiously taking Aaron's hand. A smile tugs at his lip. Despite everything he could save this boy. Whatever happened, he would make sure the boy would make it back to the camp safe. In one piece and not bitten.

 

“It's empty. Why is it this empty?”, Rick stood in the middle of the camp. 

“I think I heard something from there”, Tara pointed towards an industrial building. “Something moved behind the window.”

They passed a camp fire. A small flame dying in the remains of ashes.

Michonne cornered the small building nearby. “I found something.”

The others gathered round. A guard lay in the doorway.

“There's another one inside”, Carol commented, “Still dead.” Daryl followed her inside taking an arrow, jamming it into the skull of the man. He turned wanting to go outside, but stopped dead in his tracks. A small blood puddle on floor made him worry. Abraham who had examined the other body looked up.

“That blood isn't from these two.” Daryl nodded gravely. Worry creeping up again.

“We don't know if this is Aaron's doing”, Carol squeezed his shoulder, and went outside.

“There are bloody hinges!”, Abraham exclaimed.

“Let it go”, Tara said getting annoyed.

“It could be of import. When we did the supply run Aaron put them in his pockets”, Eugene pointed out.

“So you're saying he was here?”, Rick asked.

“No, I mean literary bloody hinges. Look!”, Abraham pointed towards the corpse. A metal object sticking out of the skull of the man. Kneeling down he pulled them out.

“Bloody hell. Where they like this?” They looked at the sharp metal.

“No”, Tara carefully placed her finger on the sharp bit.

“The arteries of both men are cut open”, Michonne said.

“Holy shit, Aaron really is some piece of work, isn't he? The first time I saw him I though he was just some boy scout, but to attack someone with a bloody hinge. He has a set of balls on him that boy, he sure has”, Abraham whistled in appreciation.

“You think he could do this alone?”, Rick asked Daryl.

“The hell are you asking me?”, worry made Daryl snap at Rick.

“You're the one who knows Aaron best. Could he do it?”

“Maybe. Maybe the family helped him. They left tracks.”

“Let's follow them. It looks like the others noticed they escaped.”

 

Kaitlin stopped dead in her tracks. “Did you hear that?” They stopped, now in the silence of dawn, they heard a low groaning.

“It came from over there”, she pointed towards a clearing. In a stride she went into that direction.

“Kaitlin, be careful”, Ned caught her hand.

“I will be, whatever awaits us...”, she stopped, eyes widened in horror.

“Honey, what's the matter?”

“Claire?”, she muttered moving closer. “Claire?!”, her loud voice made Aaron jump. Her face contorted into a ghastly smile. “Claire, is that you?”

Henry's hand was tightening on Aaron's, as the man sluggishly tried to figure out who Claire is. He hung back with the child. Only coming towards them slowly.

“Are you alright, sweetie? Mom's here now. We're alive.” The word mom sat wrongly.

Finally he was close enough to look at Claire. His stomach turned. Tied to a tree was a little girl. She wore a t-shirt covered in multi-colored dots. Her hair was only in the first stages of entanglement. She breathed in short hissed breaths. He couldn't see her face because Kaitlin blocked the view. Her hands cupped the child's head.

Hadn't they told him that their daughter had been bitten?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the hinges were important after all. Good for you Abraham.


	18. Stay Alive

Hadn't they told him their daughter had been bitten? Aaron let go of the boy's hand.

“Henry, stay away from the tree. Don't go there.” Solemnly the boy nodded, fidgeting with the long sleeves of the jacket.

“Kaitlin, get away! Now!”, Aaron ran towards her. Ned stood beside his walkerfied daughter. Staring in shock at the remains of Claire. The walker shook its head furiously. Freeing itself from Kaitlin's embrace. Now Aaron could see her face. White, dim eyes glaring at him. Her teeth knocking against each other looking at Kaitlin with hunger. Struggling against the bonds. Her arms made a strange noise as she tried to move them. Only her bones had remained all the flesh already eaten.

“What if this was Evy?”, Eric's voice traveled through his memory. He couldn't take the shot. Not without hitting the mother.

Aaron grabbed Kaitlin's shoulder. “Let go!”, she screamed, lunging at him with the sharpened hinge. Knocking him aside, slashing his cheek in the process. He toppled roughly on to the hard surface. Losing his gun.

“My baby, we'll get you out of here”, she sawed through the coarse rope.

“No...don't”, Aaron tried to stand up. Losing his footing several times. The walker snapped at Kaitlin. This time successfully. Sinking the small baby teeth into her mother's arm.

“No, Kaitlin!”, Ned pulled out of his stupor, tried to grab her, but his wife was too close to the walker.

“Ned, we have to go”, Aaron shouted, willing the spinning to stop as he stood up. Edges of his vision blacking out. “We need to go”, the ground shifted under his feet as he tried to grab Ned, but the other man pushed him away. Heading towards his wife.

She was screaming by now, as the teeth sunk into her jugular. Ned wrapped his arms around her, and howled as the walker bit him as well. The rope finally snapped. All three of them fell on the ground. Ned knocked his head against a stone. He didn't move. Kaitlin was trying to sit up.

“Claire, I love you. Don't do this. We are sorry. Mommy and Daddy love you very much...we...”, her eyes rolled back and she crashed to the ground. Claire stepped on her face taking another bite of her father.

Aaron wanted to retrieve his gun, but he saw double. His hand wasn't cooperating as he tried to open it. Already the small walker had noticed him, turning towards Aaron. Teeth covered in strings of flesh. The creature jumped him. Leading both of them to topple down. Her teeth mere inches away from his face. His arm trapped under her weight. Pain blackening his vision even more, mind racing. The boy needed him he couldn't just die. A day ago he would have let the walker get it over with, but now...A hard knock.

Someone pulling the creature off. The walker seemed dazed. Henry standing over him, clutching a stone. Gaping as he saw his parents dead bodies bleeding out on the grass. His older sister tried to grab his ankle. The stone tumbled out of his grip. Aaron managed to get a hold of it, and brought it down hard onto the walker. After the third knock he felt the small skull crack and the walker went limp.

Taking the gun he cast a side glance at Kaitlin and Ned. The father still motionless, but the mother started to move again.

“No...”, she wailed, “No, you killed my baby.” Aaron trained the gun on Kaitlin. “You killed my baby...”, the rest drowned in the blood pooling out from her mouth. Tears dripping down her cheeks. Aaron pulled the trigger. Warm blood spraying on his face. He staggered to Ned sending a bullet through the father's brain. Aaron took Henry's hand.

“We need to go, now!”, pulling the shocked boy along. Henry turned his head. Looking at the remains of his family.

“Don't look back.”

 

“Up front...something is laying on the ground”, Michonne pointed towards the clearing. Daryl felt sick, picking up pace. He didn't want to look, yet he needed to know. If he had failed his friend, his brother.

“Jeez what happened here?”, Abraham saw the three bodies lying on the ground. Daryl didn't see a blue jacket on the male body. The man had darker hair than Aaron. The relieve however was only short-lived. What if Aaron had turned and would attack them? What if, even worse, he was fighting death and Daryl would have to put him out of his misery? Like he had to do with Dale.

A thick rope had uncoiled beneath the tree. Blood and disintegrated flesh stuck to the bark. Rick knelt down examining the small holes in their heads.

“You think Aaron killed them?”

“What the fuck is your problem! Aaron is no killer!”, Daryl shouted. The sheriff shrugged.

“We all know what he's capable of.” Daryl clenched his fists. Stopped only by Michonne stepping between them.

“Where's the boy?”, Carol started to search the area. Rick stood up, and kicked the bodies. They rolled over. Exposing deep bite marks on their skin. Anger forgotten Daryl laid his hand on the woman's skin.

“She's still warm.”

“So they were bitten. They told me their girl had been bitten”, he stepped towards the smaller corpse. Carefully turning it over.

“Oh my God”, Tara put her hand in front of her mouth. Swallowing hard as she saw the flesh stripped from the child's body.

Picking up the rope Daryl said, “She was bound to the tree.”

“The marks are on her wrist”, Michonne pointed towards the abrasions on the fair skin.

“Rope has been sawn through...”

“With a fucking hinge”, Abraham interrupted Daryl, holding up the piece of metal.

 

“Carl, look”, straining his eyes he saw two figures descending up the path towards the gates. They couldn't make out the faces just yet. Only that it was a grown-up and a child. The child wore a blue jacket.

“It must be them”, Carl muttered. Enid already smiled. Gleefully jumping up and down.

“They made it. I told you not to give up hope”, her smile felt infectious, but Carl had learned the hard way this couldn't last. He scanned the area beyond the figures, slowly getting bigger. On second thought they were moving too slow. If only he could take a better look.

“We should help them”, Enid already wanted to climb down, but Carl stopped her.

“If walkers attack we can help far better from here.” She thought it over. He was just glad she hadn't seen through his lie. It felt too convenient. This could very easily turn out to be some kind of trap.

“You're right. I told you never to give up hope.”

“Where are the others? If he took the family, where are they?” Enid's smile faded as they exchanged a glance of terror.

 

May and Judith were filling the blank spaces. Crayons scratching on the surface of the paper.

“Why aren't there any walkers on your drawing?”, May asked the older girl.

“'Cause they didn't exist a few years ago.”

“Oh...you're right”, May carried on coloring.

“Hey, you're drawing over the lines”, Judith pulled her hand away.

“I didn't notice”, May muttered. Footsteps made them both look up. Glenn and Rosita already had their hands on the grip of their guns. A few men walked in all carrying an automatic.

“Throw the little toys away”, one of them shouted. Rosita and Glenn didn't. The man walked closer towards them.

“If you shoot you will maybe hit us, but then we can still take your kids down with you. We are far more than you are right now. Drop the weapons!” Reluctantly they lowered their guns, placing them on the floor. The man smiled. Taking a few steps closer to the kitchen table.

“I'm Danny”, he smiled at them. May recognized the man. It had been the one telling her they would kill Aaron.

“How did you get in here?”, Rosita asked.

“Well, you have this perfect security, but you forgot one weak spot...A hole in the fence in one of your gardens.” He grabbed May's and Judith's forearms.

“Hey, it hurts”, Judith struggled.

“She's got some spunk in her”, Danny marveled.

“Let them go.”

“Oh no, I don't think so. You see we have one of yours. And he killed two soldiers and kidnapped a family. One that was under our protection.”

“Kidnapped?”, Glenn asked sceptically.

“Yes, they were just settling in and then he just took them. Really crazy your friend. Now we'll make a little deal. Your friend is heading this way. When he comes we'll do another exchange. Nobody will get hurt.”

The men seized them and brought all of them out into the street. The gate had been opened. Carl and Enid talking to someone beyond the wall. Glenn wanted to scream, warn them, but a knife was laid onto his lips.

 

His hand felt like it would get crushed any minute now. Henry looked up. His face specked with blood and dirt. Only two clean tracks showed the remains of tears.

“They were going to turn, weren't they?” Aaron didn't stop. He knew they hadn't much time. Even if the boy was slowing down. Lagging behind.

“Yes” he did finally stop because his legs felt like a ton. His lungs as if bricks were on them. “I'm so sorry.”

“It's not your fault”, Henry blinked back the tears.

“I promised your father to take care of you. We'll get somewhere safe.” Henry nodded and they moved again. Soon he could see the walls.

“Only a few more miles. Can you do that?” The boy nodded wearily. His laces had come undone. Henry didn't have the strength to lift his feet anymore. Aaron would have killed for some kind of painkiller. His arm hurt every time he took a breath.

Two figures walked down the top of the wall. Opening the gate relieve flooded him. They had finally made it. Enid came running towards them. Closely followed by Carl.

“Are you alright?”, worry shone in her eyes. Henry tightened his hand on Aaron's. Hiding behind him. Aaron managed a weary nod.

“They are dangerous. I need to talk to Rick...”, he coughed. He felt as if he was in the desert.

“Rick went to search for you."

“What!”, Aaron felt sick, vision blurring, “Listen, can you take Henry and I'll get Rick...How long have they been gone?”

“You are not going anywhere”, Carl announced.

“But...”

“Aaron, you look like you'll kneel over any minute. They can take care of themselves. You, of all people, should know that best. Rosita needs to take a look at you two”, Enid laid a hand on his arm. Steadying him.

“We need to go. Come on”, Carl impatiently made up the rear. Escorting them into the yard.

Only to be met by the sight of Danny. Aaron stopped dead in his tracks. Subconsciously he stepped in front of Henry. Protecting the boy.

 

“He'll be inside...where is Carl?”, Rick asked. Cautiously they approached. The gate hadn't been closed probably. Danny and his crew stood in the center of the lane. Holding his daughter and May at gun point.

“Glad you could make it”, Danny greeted him. “You know the drill. Put the weapons onto the ground. Hands where I can see them.”

Aaron looked like death warmed over. He was even paler than usual. Specks of blood covering his face. Heavy bruises showed underneath his ripped shirt that was dark and stiff with blood. Someone had tied a scarf around it, but the cloth had been drenched through a long time ago. The boy stood near him. Tucked into Aaron's jacket. Looking scared.

“Now that we're all here. I want to do a simple exchange again. I want Aaron and the family. The problem is I only see the boy. Where are the parents? What did you do with them?” Nobody said anything. Aaron just stared as if caught in trance. A sudden urge to make Aaron sit down made it hard for Daryl to stay on his spot.

“Answer me! What about my two men you brutally murdered? Why did you kidnap the little boy?”

“He didn't kidnap me”, Henry quipped up. Making everyone turn their attention to him.

Danny rose his eyebrow in surprise. “Are you sure about that?” Henry nodded. “Where are your mommy and daddy?”, Danny asked.

“Leave him alone”, Aaron finally said.

“You've got some nerve. Really got some nerve. You know what Dave said?”, Aaron flinched when he heard that name. Danny came closer. Placing his gun on Aaron's forehead. “They told me that they put a gun to your head. Just like I'm doing right now, and you didn't even flinch. Show me your hand!” With great difficulty he managed to raise his arm and hand. Grimacing from the pain. “I think your hand is trembling from pain not fear. Let's just test it. Shall we?”, an evil smile spread on his face.

The barrel of the semi-automatic came down on his arm. For a moment the world went black. His legs lost the last strength they had. Falling onto the ground, onto his scraped knees. A small hand on his back. Henry stood next to him.

“I think it's already infected”, Danny sneered, “You can die from an infection, from an injury. Not just a walker bite. Can you feel the poison in your veins, Aaron? Isn't it irony that after everything you've been through you die from a stupid sepsis.” He took several steps back. “Where are the parents of this boy?”

“Gone”, Aaron answered, feeling light-headed.

“Is that so? Just gone...Okay, because I'm in a good mood, let's say I take you and the boy. In exchange your group gets the beautiful girls back.” He let a strand of May's hair run through his hand.

Aaron remembered them talking at the bonfire. “Okay”, he said. Standing up. Laying a hand on Henry's shoulder. He walked closer leading Henry with him. The boy trusted Aaron, coming closer to Danny. May and Judith were set free they stood inches away from their captors. Aaron moved closer. Noticing the guns slowly prepared to train on the girls. As they walked towards him. Finally they were on the same line. Aaron locked his eyes with May's. She noticed something was up.

Taking a deep breath knowing this won't end well Aaron shouted “Duck”, pulling the children down with him.

“Aaron, what the fuck are you....”, Rick shouted. Gunfire interrupting him. Aaron managed to cover Henry's ears who lay next to him. The others picked up their weapons and ducked for cover.

Danny's group was getting fewer and fewer by the minute. Aaron guessed that they weren't used to fight against larger groups. One body fell right next to them. Causing May to scream. Warm blood from the corpse drenches her t-shirt. Glenn was fighting Danny. Both their guns have been discarded, lost in the fight.

Both Aaron and May saw how Danny managed to pull out a second gun from his waistband. Underneath his jacket. “Dad”, the girl scrambled to her feet. Rushing towards the man who noticed her. Spinning around he trained the gun on her.

 

Aaron somehow managed to stand up. Adrenaline pumping painfully in his veins. He grabbed the girl's forearm pulling her out of harm's way. A loud thud, and pain started exploding in his chest. Glenn retrieved his gun. Blood and brain matter splattering onto Aaron's shirt.

The girl screamed covered in fresh blood again, but Aaron didn't know where it came from. Has she been hit? The lane tilted under his feet. He lost balance and landed on his knees again. A wet cough made him double over. Since when had it gotten this bad? May was by his side, shouting for help. Why is she shouting for help? He coughed again. A strange metallic taste flooding his mouth. He coughed again, spitting crimson onto the ground. Had he bitten his tongue that bad? Henry shrugged Aaron's jacket off folding it.

“You should lie down”, he ordered, voice shaking. May pushed Aaron onto the ground. They used the jacket as a pillow. It felt easier to breath now that he was lying down. Still he isn't sure what had happened. May is crying, placing her small hands on his chest. It hurts. Henry handed her a piece of cloth he ripped from his shirt, she pressed it onto his chest that was covered in blood. It got harder to breath.

Out of nowhere Rick appeared. Worry written over his face.

“I'm sorry. I messed this up, Rick”, Aaron muttered, battling the light-headiness.

“It's okay, Aaron”, Rick said much to his surprise. Henry clutched his hand. The girl was pulled away by her father. Her hands were covered in fresh blood. Daryl knelt down next to him. Face grim as usual.

“We need to get you to the infirmary.” He helped Aaron to sit up. He weakly grabbed a handful of Daryl's vest.

“He wanted to take the kids”, he stopped his speech getting watery, he spit blood up again. It started to dribble down his chin. “They took them as walker bait.” Daryl looked shocked, but then picked Aaron up.

“You are gonna stay alive. You hear me?!”, he said. Aaron could only nod weakly, struggling to take a breath. He looked up into the clear blue sky. Past Daryl's worried eyes.

“It's really nice.”

“What?”

“The sky...”

“What...”, the rest faded out.

 


	19. Hold On

His daughter trembled in his arms. The air was heavy with the smell of gunpowder and blood. Glenn held her tight not bearing to let her go. Not after what had just happened.

“Are you hurt?”, he finally said, his voice betraying him. May shook her head.

“It's not mine”, she was drenched in blood. “I thought I'd lose you, dad. I'm sorry I didn't mean to...”, sobs drowned out the rest. “Now Aaron is gonna die because of me...”, her legs gave away as she sunk to the ground.

Rick came back. “Is anybody else hurt?” Judith ran into her father's arms. Her brother joined in. Henry picked up Aaron's jacket unfolding it, and slipping into it again. It was far too big, and it looked like he played dress-up with his father's clothes. Carol walked towards him.

“Are you okay?”, she asked in a soft voice. Henry's eyes were transfixed on the puddle of blood on the pavement, and the lifeless bodies. Michonne already started to drag them away.

“What's your name?”

The boy looked up, eyes still dazed. “Henry.”

“Henry, I'm Carol, and I'm a friend of Aaron's. I'm going to look after you for now.” He nodded. His hands fidgeting with the sleeves of the clothing.

“Let's get you cleaned up.”

 

Henry was wearing Aaron's jacket again. He managed to sneak past Carol, and found the way to the infirmary. Daryl sat on the steps. Smoking a cigarette. His hands still crusted with blood just like Henry's hands had been before Carol managed to persuade him to take a shower. He was even wearing a new shirt now.

He sat next to Daryl. The other man didn't react. Henry tugged at the man's vest. Daryl looked up in surprise.

“Is Aaron gonna be okay?” Daryl doesn't answer for a long time. Trying to forget how Aaron's lips had turned blue. How he had been wheezing for breath. How his eyes rolled back. Rosita had thrown him out. Telling him they needed space. Something about trying to operate on him. Get that bullet out. One of his lungs collapsing. Most people he knew who had an operation in this world died. However there had been people who had survived. Hershel with his leg, the governor with his eye, but then there had been Lori and Tyresse. They just bled out, like Aaron was doing right now.

“I don't know. Rosita and Tara are taking good care of him.” The boy nodded, reminding him of Carl when he had been so much younger.

“He told me you were best friends.” A warm feeling spread. Never had Daryl thought that he would have a best friend someday. And that Aaron saw him like that.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Because he told me you have a crossbow like Green Arrow.”

“Green Arrow? I look nothing like Green Arrow”, Daryl huffed.

“My best friend died a few months ago. Do you think your best friend is going to die?”

“I hope not.”

“My parents, they would have turned. Aaron saved them.” How messed up was the world when saving someone meant to kill them?

“Shit, I'm sorry, kid.”

“Can I see him?”, the boy changed the topic.

“No, we can't. They're still trying to save him. Later. You should sleep.”

“But...”

“I'll wake you up when something happens.”

 

Daryl brought the boy back to Carol's. Most of the group had gathered. Turning their heads when they saw the boy and Daryl entered.

“Henry, I'm Rick. We need to ask you some questions, if that's okay?”

“The boy needs to sleep”, Daryl growled.

“I understand that. We'll be really quick.”

Daryl took a step closer towards Rick. “Because of your stupid deal Aaron is at death's door. The boy just lost his parents. At least give him a day.”

“We need information now.”

“I can answer your questions. I'm not tired”, Henry announced sitting down next to Carol. Giving Daryl a nod. The man sat down giving an exasperated sign. Glaring at Rick.

“Make it quick.” He really was turning into a suburban dad.

“Tell me what happened after the men took Aaron with them.”

“They wanted to put Aaron into a prison telling mom that she could do whatever she wanted with him. But then they pushed us in as well.”

“What happened then?”

“After a while some men came and wanted to take me, but Aaron, he pissed them off.”

“Pissed them off, how?”, Michonne asked.

“He told them he didn't regret killing their men, and he spat at them. I think he lied”, Henry quietly added, eyes fixed to the floor. “Aaron seemed really sad when he had to kill...”, the boy trailed off. His glance haunted.

“So they took him?”, Rick tried to make the boy continue.

“Yes, they took him and not me. He saved my life. While he was away we sharpened the hinges, so we could hurt the guards.”

“Who's idea was that?”, Abraham asked, pride in his voice.

“Aaron had them. It was his idea.”

“See, told you hinges are fucking...”

“Oh God, shut up”, Carol said.

“It's not custom to swear in front of minors”, Eugene added.

“Anyway, did they beat Aaron up?”

“Yes, he hurt his arm pretty bad. mom's a nurse and she took a look at it. Thought he might bleed out and turn.”

“After that you attacked the guards?”

“Yes.”

“And then?”

“We ran away from them.”

Rick nodded thoughtfully. Kneeling down next to the boy. “I know you don't want to talk about it, but I need to know what happened next. What happened with your family?” The boy pulled the jacket closer to his body. Seeking comfort.

“Dad told Aaron that if something happened to them Aaron should take care of me. And Aaron promised he would...”, his voice broke.

“Aaron is my best friend and until he can, I'll take care of you. Got it?”, Daryl said. Henry nodded hugging himself.

“What happened?”, Rick asked softly.

“We found my sister. She was...was tied to a tree. Turned. Mom and dad they didn't notice. They went towards her. I wanted to follow, but Aaron pulled me back. Telling me to stay put. He pulled out a gun. Wanted to shoot her. But mom wouldn't let him. Knocking the gun out of his grip and dad...I think he tripped. Banged his head against a stone. The walker broke loose and got them...  Aaron shot them. The walker attacked him, but I got a stone and distracted her...it”, Henry looked troubled, “He could kill...I wanted to stay, but Aaron told me not to look back and that he was sorry. That he would take care of me.”

Rick ran his hands through his hair. Remembering when he had thought Judith had died, and all the other people. How he had put his hands on Carl's shoulders. Tears and pain radiating from his son. “Don't look back”, the same look in Aaron's eyes when Alexandria burnt to the ground. The only words you could say when everything was ripped from the person's life standing in front of you.

“Aaron told me that they wanted children. Using them as bait. Do you know something about that?”

“We heard them talking about children being a better bait and mom nearly got sick, but I didn't understand what they meant”, Henry shrugged his shoulders. All the others in the room had understood. Growing paler as the seconds ticked by.

“We have to move”, Michonne finally said.

“No, we kicked their asses today. They won't be a danger anymore”, Abraham threw in.

“Let's wait till Aaron wakes up. See what he has to say about the camp”, Enid suggested.

“If he wakes up”, Carl shoved his hands into his pockets.

“When can I see him?”, Henry joined the conversation again.

“I think Daryl was right. You need some rest. After that we'll go and talk to Rosita and Tara. Maybe you can visit Aaron then”, Carol led the boy upstairs. Glenn watched them. Paler than before. They nearly took his daughter to serve as walker bait.

“This is fucked up”, he finally said.

 

The soft beeping of the heart monitor made him forget that Aaron looked as if he already had died.

“Hey, are you alright?”, Tara joined him at the man's bedside. “We have to wait for a while now. See if he wakes up.”

“Is he gonna die?”

“I don't know”, Tara finally said, “Aaron's breathing on his own that's a good sign, but we just don't know.” Henry nodded looking back at his friend. Carefully taking the man's hand into his own. Eyes intently fixed on the soft rising and falling of Aaron's chest.

“I'll give you a moment”, Tara went back to the desk. Pretending to pick up her book again and read. Watching the boy and her patient. Henry bowed his head. Gripping Aaron's hand tighter.

“Please, don't leave me as well. You can't leave me...”, he waited. But the monitor only showed the same steady beats. “You are not allowed to leave me, Aaron, please you promised...you promised.” Tears dripped down the boy's face onto Aaron's bandaged arm. Tara sat next to the boy. Softy pried his fingers off the man's. Drawing the crying child into her arms. Rocking him gently on her knees. Like she had so many years ago with Meghan.

”They're all gone...they all left me”, Henry sobbed, gripping the hem of her t-shirt. She rubbed circles on his back. Letting the boy cry for all the loss he had endured. They were interrupted by the door being closed. Awkwardly Daryl stood in the middle of the room. The boy pulled away, and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry for running away. I couldn't sleep”, he sniffed.

“Just tell me before you take of. Had Carol worried.”

Tara couldn't help herself, “Carol?”

“Don't you start as well.”

“Shouldn't you be sleeping?”, Henry asked. Daryl huffed, and came closer to the bedside.

“You take care of his jacket, until Aaron wakes up.”

“Is it his favorite?”

“Yeah, you could say so. Eric and I once spilled paint on his jacket and he made a huge fuss about it. Didn't talk to us for a whole week.”

“But what about the blood?” Daryl gave the jacket a once over.

“Ah...that's nothing. If you have salt you can get blood out of almost anything.”

“Mom would have liked you. She never got the blood out.” Great now he had turned into a suburban mom as well.

“C'mon I want to show you something”, Tara led the boy outside. Leaving Daryl alone with Aaron.

 

It was a very strange feeling to see Aaron just lying there. Doing nothing. Not in motion.

The first things that had annoyed him about his recruiting partner was his inability to just stay put. During a hunt Aaron would move relentlessly. If only small, micro-movements he did move. Even in his sleep he managed to not stay still. Now he was as still as a corpse. His hair curlier than usual from sweat gathering on his pale face. Specks of dried, crusted blood still were everywhere. His lips otherwise blueish were red from blood as well.

“Don't you dare go away”, Daryl's angry voice carried across the room. His breath was going steady. But never would Daryl forget his friend wheezing. Fighting to take a breath. The steady beeping changed rhythm. His eyes started to move underneath his closed eyelids.

“Aaron...”, his friend slowly opened his eyes. Fear dancing in his glassy eyes.

“Daryl...where...” He tried to sit up, but Daryl laid his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

“Don't sit up.” Trusting him Aaron obeyed. “You got yourself shot”, Daryl crossed his arms, glaring down at his friend.

“Oh...”, Aaron seemed to be even more confused. Then fear flickered up again. “Where's Eric?” Worry flooded Daryl. He laid a hand on Aaron's forehead. The latter turned his head. “Why are you so cold?”

“Shit, you're burning up”, cursing under his breath Daryl wished someone else, who knew more than just first aid, was around. He managed to find a piece of cloth. Drenching it with water he laid it on Aaron's forehead. His friend trying to bat it away. Losing all color upon using his injured arm.

“Don't move. I need to get someone.”

“No...where is Eric?!”, Aaron asked through clenched teeth. The beeping had picked up. Running rapidly, unsteadily. “Where is he....”, he started coughing.

“He ain't here.”

“Is he hurt? Did something...”, he coughed again. Pain on his features.

“Eric's okay. Was at your side the whole time. Later he can visit”, the lie rolled awkwardly off his tongue.

Aaron gave him a blank look. “You're lying.”

“Calm down”, Daryl pushed him onto the bed. “You are staying here. I'm gonna get someone”

“Let go of me!”, Aaron shouted, coughing. It sounded wet again.

Daryl rushed out of the house. Onto the street, hoping to see anyone. All was clear.

“Help!”, he shouted rushing towards the others. Soon Rick joined him with drawn gun.

“What's the matter?”

“Aaron's burning up. Delirious, he asked about Eric. Thrashing...”

“Get Rosita”, he shouted towards his son, who had followed him.

 

It was empty. Not empty as in no one was home, but empty as not lived in. No misplaced jacket. No book laying on its face on the kitchen table. He stood still in the doorway.

“Eric?”, his feeble voice echoed in the empty hall. He could hear voices from the bathroom. Cautiously he crept towards the room. Remaining sunlight shone through the broken glass. Dark spots covered the wall. He remembered. Eric's warm blood on his hands. The groaning and snapping of a walker's jaw. Taking a huge bite. He slid down the wall. Looking at the window. Seeing the bloody curtain dance in the wind.

“Why did you leave me, Eric? Why you?” The only reply the faint echo. Aaron leaned his head against the tiles. Pain flared in his chest. The whole room felt stuffed, and far too warm.

He remembered Daryl telling him he had been shot, but his brain was too muddled. Images of being beaten, escaping and killing someone. A boy next to him...Henry. Henry's parents, his sister were dead and then the standoff with Danny's people. May rushing towards her father. The pain making it hard to breathe.

“Why can't you just let me die!?”, he tried to shout, but only managed a strangled whisper. Looking at the blood red sky. The sun looking like it was going to die as well, as it dipped into earth. God didn't answer. Slowly the light and shadows were fading, blurring into each other. Swirling around. Like a sea of color rolling towards him. Even after screwing his eyes together he couldn't make out the shade of Eric's hair. He was drenched in sweat. When had it started raining? Wasn't he indoors?

“Aaron?”, someone blocked out the remaining sunlight. A hand on his shoulder. Footsteps.

“Rosita is on her way. Aaron, are you with us?”, another voice. Dazed, he finally managed to clear his vision. Daryl and Rick both seem to be concerned.

“What...did something happen?”

“No, you decided to nearly kill yourself again. Such an idiot”, Daryl grip tightened on his shoulder. His other hand felt cool against Aaron's forehead.

Aaron turned to Rick. “Sorry I messed everything up.”

Rick wearily shook his head. “You saved my daughter, you saved May, you saved the little boy. Aaron, you didn't mess up.” Confused he looked at the father.

“Why are you both so kind to me? I deserve this.”

“Ain't nobody deserve a bullet to his chest”, Daryl was checking his pulse. His touch getting too warm. Aaron tried to shake him off forgetting his injured arm. Pain nearly made him lose consciousness. Rick held him down.

“Don't move. You shouldn't even be out of bed.” His eyelids become heavier and heavier. Carefully he leaned against the wall. Exhaustion getting worse and worse with ever strained breath he took.

“He has to sit more upright. He's not getting enough air”, Rick's voice sounded further away. Daryl moved to Aaron's side putting both his hands on the other man's back. Pushing him forward.

“Better?”, worry in his gruff voice. It burnt, but not as much as it had. Exhaustion sapped all his energy. He couldn't even find it in himself to answer. Closing his eyes, leaning against his friend he soon slipped into oblivion.

 

When he woke up the sun already stood high in the sky. He heard the high pitched, steady breathing of a child. Henry's head was lying on the blanket. Next to Aaron's bandaged arm.

“He's gonna be okay”, Tara walked towards him.

“You sure about that?”, Daryl gruffly asked. Still mad.

“Yeah, if you don't clock him when he wakes up.”

“Should cuff him to the bed”, he muttered.

“I would have to hear his whining...Nope.”

“It's a fucking miracle that he's still alive.”

“Sometimes you have to be crazy enough to survive, right?”, Tara checked his pulse. Daryl nodded his head wearily. Carefully shrugging off his vest laying it on the boy.

“Poor kid. Lost everything in a few days”, the girl wrote something down on a piece of paper.

“Sucks to be kid in these times.”

The door opened, and in came Glenn and May. Worry written on both their faces. Again Tara saw how much May looked like her father. Even their expressions seemed similar.

“Is he alright?”, Glenn asked, a hand on his daughter's shoulder.

“Yes, if he doesn't pull anymore disappearing acts. His temperature sky-rocked, but it's nearly down to normal now. He'll have to take some strong antibiotics for a while to fight the infection.”

“Should I go on a supply run?”

“We have more than enough, but thanks.”

May sat down on the bed. The boy sat up. Awoken from the others. He rubbed his eyes. Glancing down at Aaron. Carefully he leaned forward. Laying his ear lightly on the man's chest. Making sure he could still hear his heart beating. May had her eyes fixed on the boy.

“Is he still breathing?”, she whispered softly.

“Yes”, Henry whispered back, “When is he going to wake up?”, Henry asked Tara. “I don't know. He needs a lot of rest right now. He'll need to sleep a lot for a while.”

“Bets are he won't”, Daryl mumbled.

 

The injured man slowly opened his eyes. Blinking against the sunlight. His eyes still glassy, but Daryl could see recognition hit them when he saw all his friends gathering around the bed. Carefully he sat up. This time not using his injured arm. Winking at May and Henry. One of his stupid smiles spread on his face.

“What did I miss?”

“You're alive”, May threw her arms around his neck. The boy beamed. He laid his good arm around the child. Trying not to tangle the IV-drip.

“Henry, are you alright?”

“Yes”, the boy still smiled. Taking Aaron's hand in his small one.

“Glad to have you back”, Glenn said.

“Yep, you had us really worried”, Tara added. Delighted that Aaron didn't seem to have suffered from the high fever.

“Did something happen?”, Aaron asked looking at Daryl directly.

“Don't you remember?”, the hunter asked.

“Everything is a bit muddled. Last thing I remember is getting shot and you...you were talking to me. Being kind for a change.”

“You don't remember waking up?”, Tara asked.

“Ah...no not really. Should I?”, Aaron asked his smile faltering.

“Yep. Went all A-wall on us.”

“I did?”

“You had a high fever. It's not uncommon that you can't remember what happened”, Tara gave Daryl a not-now-look. Shaking her head slightly.

“So....”, Aaron trailed off, eyes latching on his friend. “Are you mad at me?” Daryl just glared up at him. “Ever thought of becoming an actor? You have such a huge repertoire of expressions. It's fascinating.” Still Daryl remained silent. “I know what this is. You're worried about me.”

Daryl had the sudden urge to smack that idiot hard. Already he felt the primary emotion he always had when interacting with Aaron. Worry and annoyance mixed together.

“He has that effect on people”, Eric had informed him when Daryl had been fed up with his recruiting partner.

“How can you stand it?”

An evil grin formed on Eric's face. “I have my methods.”

“You are worse than a 4-year-old on a sugar rush”, Daryl darkly said, “No offense to you”, he quickly added towards the kids.

“No offense taken”, Henry answered with great seriousness.

“Okay, I think Aaron still needs his rest, and we should all go outside”, Glenn stood up.

“Dad, I don't want to go”, May complained.

“We can visit him again later, honey.”

“What if he isn't there when we come back?”, Henry asked.

“He'll be. Right, Aaron?”, Glenn asked.

“Sure”

Daryl huffed at that receiving an annoyed look from Aaron. “I wouldn't be to sure about that.”

“Where should I go?”, Aaron shot back, “I'm not someone who is outside most of the time. Brooding about...”

“Shut up. And stop lying, pretty boy. I can see right through you.”

“Are you trying to flirt with me, Daryl Dixon?” The hunter said nothing giving him another glare.

“If you aren't here when I visit next time I'm going to hunt you down, and kill you myself.” Then he slammed the door.

“Wow, now I know what you mean by suburban dad”, Tara laughed.

May and Henry had stood beside the door following the conversation. The girl asked Henry why Daryl and Aaron were fighting.

“They're best friends and sometimes best friends bicker. My mom and dad did it the whole time”, Henry informed her, and they followed Daryl. Glenn burst out laughing when he heard that.

 

Sitting next to the bed. His eyes followed the children through the window who waved goodbye to Aaron.

“Seems you have quite the fan club out there."

“Yeah”, Aaron smiled fondly.

“Listen, you should rest, and I'm gonna leave you alone. But I just wanted to thank you again, Aaron. You have put your life on the line for me again and again. You saved my little girl and my life. If it hadn't been for you May or I would lie in the ground. I owe you.”

“We are family. We look out for each other. You don't owe me anything.” Glenn stood up.

“Still...you sacrificed yourself for my daughter. I'm glad you're still with us.” Both knew that Glenn didn't just mean the nearly fatal bullet wound. “Don't go. For May's and Henry's sake. I know how hard it is to hold on, but please stay. For Daryl's sake. He sees you like his brother. The last time he cared so much, and Beth died he nearly lost himself.” Aaron nodded solemnly.

 

He remembered Eric holding on tight. At night. Whispering into his ear.

“Don't go.”

“I won't. I'm right here.”

“No, you aren't.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes you can survive a bullet wound to your lungs. I honestly thought it's your death sentence, but it doesn't have to be which is good news. Only one more chapter to go :)  
> Happy Easter


	20. Look Back

Tara sat a few feet away. Reading a book. Soon she closed her eyes. Breathing steady.

Aaron carefully sat up, taking his shoes that stood at the bedside. Creeping past Tara. The streets were empty which he assumed had to do with the fact everybody was eating super.

It seemed peaceful as he sat down and tied his laces. His shirt was stiff with dry blood. A hole had ripped through the chest area, and it still hurt to breathe. Nobody was in Carol's house. With a little bit of difficulty he managed to change his clothes. He slipped out through the hole in the garden. Nobody had come around to fix the breach. Only a wooden board leaning against it. Making it easy for Aaron to get through. Aaron didn't go through the house. He couldn't bear it.

The walk towards the grave seemed to take longer than usual, and he was breathing heavily when he finally made it there. Leaning against a tree.

“Hey...I know I'm just talking to a stupid grave....I don't even believe in this stuff. Life after death, but well here I am....”, it heard nothing besides the wind whistling in the trees. “I fucked up, Eric. I seriously fucked up. The family that were responsible for you dying...they're all dead now. They lost their little girl and I had to kill them...I had no choice. They were about to turn, and I had to kill them in front of Henry. He is so young. I mean what if it had been Percy? What if Percy is somewhere alone, scared...I'm his uncle, and I couldn't keep him safe. I couldn't keep you safe.”

He had no tears left in him. Just that raw pain that clouded everything else. Robbing him of every joyful moment he ever had. The price we pay for love.

 

“Guys, I'm so sorry”, Tara barged into Rick's home.

Daryl stood up. “Is he...”

“No! No, but he...I fell asleep and...”

“He slipped out. This tiny fucker. If I ever get my hands on him he'll curse the day he met me!”, Daryl clenched his fists.

“Aaron will be at the graves”, Carol said, holding Daryl back before the latter would do something stupid.

“I'll fetch him”, Abraham volunteered.

 

He found Aaron leaning against a tree trunk. Deep in thought, or maybe shock. Abraham wasn't sure.

“Hey, Aaron are you alright?” The younger man looked up flashing him a dazzling smile.

“Sorry about the hinges.” The other man relaxed, sitting down.

“That was some really good thinking. I'm proud of you.”

Aaron shrugged, “Well you know. You have to work with the things you have been given.”

“So what are you doing here. All by yourself?”

“Just needed to catch some fresh air.”

“You hate standing still don't you?” Again the younger man shrugged. His smile weary, paper thin.

“I know that a gunshot hurts like a bitch. You should be in bed. Taking all the pain medication that you can get.”

“Pain's everything we've got”, Aaron said darkly. Abraham gave him a confused look. He sincerely hoped that this boy wasn't showing signs of madness setting in. Before he could think of anything to say Daryl stepped into view.

“There you are. I got this, Abraham.”

“Don't smack him, Daryl.”

“I won't.”

“Okay, see ya”, Abraham made his way back. Somewhat glad that he didn't have take care of Aaron.

 

Aaron smiled again upon seeing his friend. Daryl wanted to shout at him. Give him a good telling off. But now he couldn't find the heart in him to do it. Aaron's face was heavily bruised. He saw hand marks on his neck. Dry blood stuck to him like a second skin. Every time he breathed a slight tremble ran though him. And he was cradling his injured arm. Of course his pity only stayed until Aaron decided to open his mouth and piss him off again.

“So how are you and Carol doing? Have you already defined your relationship?” This shit eating grin again.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You nearly died, and now you're asking me how Carol and I are?”

Aaron suppressed a laugh, and shrugged his shoulders.

“Listen, Aaron this isn't some kind of fucking joke. You nearly died.” His friend gave him an unfazed look.

“I have had so many near death experiences. Even before this whole shit began. I always survive. I always thought surviving is good, but I'm starting to think it's a curse. Either you die, or you see all your friends die.”

“Stop going all emo on me. We are alive. We have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, we have to.”

“Running away doesn't make it any better.”

“I just couldn't breathe in that room. You, of all people, should understand. You couldn't stay in the walls of Alexandria just as much as I couldn't.” Again he wasn't getting through to his friend.

“Everyone was really worried.”

“Everyone?”

“Okay, especially I was worried. You were spitting blood and bleeding everywhere. The last time someone I cared about got shot she died.”

“Oh shit I'm sorry, Daryl”, the smile had gone.

“Don't you ever do this to me, Aaron. As I told you before I'm sure as hell not gonna lose another brother.” Aaron nodded, almost looking sorry for his actions. They both looked at Eric's cross saying nothing.

“I know now why Eric sacrificed himself”, Aaron finally broke the silence, “When I threw myself in front of May I saw my niece in her. What if it had been her standing in front of that gun? Eric saw her in the girl he tried to save. Through my actions his sacrifice was in vain”, he stopped. Fear in his eyes. Daryl pulled him into a hug.

“You saved Henry. He needs you. That boy trusts you. If something happens to you he'd be crushed.” Aaron nodded.

“Thank you, Daryl.”

“Just don't pull anymore disappearing acts or I'm gonna cuff you to the bed. You're my best friend and annoying little brother. I don't want anything happening to you.”

 

“Aaron told me your cookies rock, if they aren't made with apple”, Henry peered into the oven. “My mom used to make some with chocolate chips in them. Before our oven exploded”, he sadly added.

“Your oven exploded?”, Judith looked up from her 'Get Well Soon' card she was currently drawing for Aaron.

“It was a really old oven, so it broke and exploded.”

“Did you get hurt?”, May asked.

“No, dad pulled us away. But we couldn't eat the food we had inside.”

“That's a bummer”, Judith said copying the voice of her brother.

“We have to wait until they cool off”, Carol placed the hot tray on the counter. Henry gave her the first real smile he had given her since Aaron had woken up.

“I think you should all take a nap. May, Judith you go ahead and go to your room.”

“But we're not finished yet”, Judith complained.

“Leave the card here. I'll keep an eye on it.”

“We need glitter”, the girl crossed her arms in front of her chest. Carol took a deep breath. Marvelling how headstrong Rick's daughter could be.

“We can ask Glenn later if he knows if there's glitter in one of the shops.”

“Okay.”

She turned to Henry. “You can take Aaron's bed. I can stay in the room if you want to.” The boy nodded. Following her. Carefully he sat down undoing the laces.

“If Aaron wakes up again can you tell me?”

“Of course I will.”

Henry nodded keeping Aaron's jacket on. Snuggling into the blankets. Closing his eyes. Again and again he saw his parents rushing towards his sister. Her dead body writhing, groaning at the pole. Aaron's face turning into fear. The way he shoved Henry back. Telling him to stay behind him. The thing still wearing Claire's favourite sweater jumping his mom. Nearly killing Aaron. The sickening crack of her skull. The steady hand of Aaron, even as his whole body was trembling his hand was steady, as his mother crashed to the ground. Dad lying there as if he was just asleep. The blood. He slipped into the nightmarish sequence of these events. Looping in his mind. Sleep keeping him in its slumbering prison.

 

Sitting next to Aaron, Glenn checked his ammunition. “Rick wants to talk to you in the next days. I guess he wants to apologize.”

Aaron gave him a surprised look. “Really?”

“Yeah, he was very worried”, the gun chamber slammed shut. Making Aaron jump. Glenn's keen eyes noting every movement.

“You remember when I told you about me and Maggie being kidnapped?”

“Yes.”

“Well I was shaking up afterwards. It stays with you for some time. Henry told us they beat you up. Whenever you want to talk about...”, Glenn shrugged his shoulders not sure how to proceed.

“I'm used to getting kidnapped. Believe me in my job you were kidnapped most of the time.” 

“Do you get used to it? Does it get easier?”

Aaron looked down fiddling with the IV drip connected to his hand. “No...not really.” Glenn said nothing motioning him to go on. “When I was a kid I had nightmares, and when I told my mother she would bring me back to my room and switch off the lights, lock the door. Tell me to toughen up. And I would sit in the dark. Shaking with fear waiting for the first daylight to creep in. It feels just like that. You're alone in a room, afraid of the dark, and the monsters who are for once real...”, Aaron's troubled gaze haunted Glenn.

“I'm sorry”, he softly said.

“Thanks”, Aaron gave him a wry smile, “Seems like May has a man at last”, Aaron changed the topic swiftly. Trying to shake the dread of his bones.

“You mean Henry? He is quite something, isn't he.”

“Definitely better than Max or Flynn.” They both laughed.

The moment was interrupted by Carol storming into the infirmary. “I'm sorry Aaron, but Henry woke up from a nightmare and he isn't calming down. Tara is with him right now, but he trusts you the most. If you could...”

Aaron already sat up. Pulling the IV drip out of his hand. “When did he wake up?”

“Just a few minutes ago.”

 

Writhing on his bed the boy breathed heavily through sobs. Tears dripping down the blue jacket. Tara held him tightly. Aaron joined her.

“Henry...it's me Aaron...”, the boy pulled away from Tara, and threw his arms around the man. Sobbing hard. He could feel the shaking of the boy. “They're all dead”, the boy sobbed. “They're all dead”, his breathing got faster and faster. “And you nearly...”, he sobbed again.

“I'm fine Henry. I'm not going anywhere, okay?” Tears spilled down the boys face. “Mom said the same thing.” Aaron said nothing pulling the boy closer. After a while the sobbing had died down.

“People we loved have sacrificed themselves for us. Don't let that be in vain. We owe them to live even if we don't want to, we have to, for them.”

Henry nodded. “I understand”, he sniffed, wiping his tears away. May who had been standing at the doorway with her father. Now she cautiously sat down next to Aaron.

“When I miss my mom really bad I listen to this”, she laid the music box on the bed. Opening the lid. The melody sailed through the room.

Aaron locked his eyes on Glenn and Rick. Bittersweet memories in all their minds. Remembering Sasha, Maggie, Beth, Gabriel, Denise and Sasha. Henry peered past Aaron's shoulder onto the ballerina. Turning and turning. The music died down. May gave him a weak smile.

“They're watching us from above. In the sky.” A small smile appeared on the boy's face.

“The cookies are cold now. Should I get some?” Again he nodded. Hands still clutching Aaron's sleeves. Soon she came back.

“For you”, she gave Henry one then wanted to hand one to Aaron.

“No thank you. I'm not really hungry...” May placed it into his mouth. A snicker came from the other side of the room. Her father was trying not to burst out into laughter.

“She going to be tough when she is a teenager”, Rick remarked.

“Let's not start with Judith.” Rick's smile faded into a look of horror mirroring Michonne's.

Aaron, who had resigned to the fact that he had to eat the cookie, took a bite. “These aren't apple cookies, right?”

“In fact they are”, May causally said taking another bite. Aaron contemplated if he should spit out the cookie, or swallow loosing all color in the process. Henry started to burst out laughing. Nearly choking on the food.

“Are you pulling one over on me?”, Aaron asked the laughing children.

“Yep”, May finally said. Mischievousness glinting in her eyes. The man shock his head and started tickling her. The child nearly lost her grip on her cookie resulting on leaving crumbs everywhere.

“We're like the cookie monster”, Henry exclaimed excitedly.

“I thought the cookie monster looks a lot like Daryl”, Aaron added dryly. Earning him another laugh and an exasperated huff from his Daryl.

“I heard that Aaron.”

“Sorry, Dixon.”

Soon Aaron leaned against the bed headboard. Eyes slowly closing. May noticed motioning Henry to stay quiet. They snuggled next to him. Each on one side. Careful as not to jostle his injuries.

“You have to careful with this one. In a few months Aaron is going to be called dad and you are uncle Glenn”, Rick remarked to the young father.

“Let's let them get some rest”, Tara led the others outside of the room.

 

“Henry watch out with that ball. I can't tell Abraham that we broke yet another window”, Aaron shouted giving the football a light kick.

“Hey Aaron, come here for a sec”, Daryl called him over.

“Just a minute...Carl make sure Enid doesn't score another goal. We're never gonna live that down”

The boy smiled. “She's going on and on about it.”

“What's up?”

“Rick wants to talk to you?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“I don't think so. If you behave normal I think you'll have some chance with him again.”

“Behave normal?”

“Yeah, you never do”, Daryl dryly said.

“That's offensive”

“Offensive my ass.”

“Hey, watch your language there are children present.”

“You are turning into a suburban dad”, Daryl said.

Aaron smirked, “Daryl, do you want to become Henry's godfather?”, it earned him a smack.

“C'mon Mr. Grumpy Pants, I know you are secretly touched.” An exasperated sign came from his friend.

“I'm so glad I ain't had a little brother, before you. It's annoying.”

“Well, you're worse than my older sister.”

“One day I'm gonna hit you accidentally with my crossbow.”

“I want to see that Dixon”, his smile vanished, “You think Rick will let me go outside again?”

“Maybe that's what he wants to talk about.”

Aaron gave him a curious look. “You know something, don't you?”

“I'm not telling you.”

“Please..., Daryl...”

“Quit your whining.”

They were interrupted by a crash and Henry. “Aaron, I think we broke a window...sorry.”

“Oh my God, Abraham is gonna kill me”, Aaron whispered. Fear in his eyes.

“You know you're really good with them. May and Henry love you”, Daryl said a soft smile on his face. A fond one spread on Aaron's.

“Yeah Eric and I would have loved to adopt. But you know...”, he shrugged his shoulders, “With our jobs in the NGO it never came to that. It's a good thing that we didn't. Too many children have died in this world.”

Daryl gave his friend a careful once over. Only a light shadow of the bruises had remained. He still favored his left side. Scars running along his right arm that never would completely vanish. Sometimes Daryl would hear him breathing heavily, and make him sit down. Sometimes Daryl would find him outside at night. Clutching his gun tightly. Peering into the dark. Pulling his jacket tighter. Eyes suspiciously wet. And even when he had a real smile, a real laugh, he would never lose the sad glance. The aura of melancholy that surrounded him now. Eric had taken Aaron's happiness with him to the grave.

Daryl stopped Aaron. Laying a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” Aaron wanted to answer, “I'm fine” He had become quite good at telling the lie more and more convincingly.

“Don't lie.”

“I'm okay now.” Daryl watched him walk towards Henry, taking the boy's hand.

 

“I'm really sorry, Aaron. But Carl kicked the ball towards me and then I made the longest shoot I ever did and the window came in the way.”

“The window came in the way?”, Aaron inquired.

Henry didn't look at him. Eyes cast on the ground. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.” Aaron let out a sigh.

“You know the drill”, they trooped towards Abraham's house. Eugene opened.

“Again?”, he asked, “I presume Abraham is going to get mad. I suggest you get him some fracking hinges.”

Rosita pulled her eyebrows when they saw them. “You are lucky Aaron that he likes you and the kids.” They heard heavy footsteps.

“I'll be damned. What did you do this time?” Aaron nudged the boy by his side.

“I accidentally kicked the ball into a window”, Henry confessed. Abraham's eyes narrowed locking on Aaron.

“Whenever your sick leaves over you are going to get me some fucking hinges. Or I swear to God I'm gonna go over to your house, and shoot all the windows.”

“But then it will get chilly, and Daryl and Carol will get really mad”, Henry said.

“It's the fourth window in a row.”

“I'm sorry?”, Aaron offered, “Maybe we could get you some more car license plates? You'd like that? All the D.C ones?”, a small laugh next to him, as Henry tried to remain serious.

“Get out!” They fled the place. Laughing when they were a few steps away.

Then Aaron managed to sober up. “Listen, be a bit more careful next time.” Henry nodded solemnly. “I need to swing by Rick's. Ask Carol if her cookies are finished and....”

“Without apple”, Henry finished. Aaron brushed through the boy's hair, and waved him goodbye.

 

Nervously he knocked on the door. Since the accident two weeks ago he hadn't talked much with Rick. Some of the group had scouted the area from Danny's crew. It had been run over with walkers. They hadn't found any survivors. He could still be mad.

“Hi Aaron, come on in”, Michonne greeted him. He flashed her a smile not really feeling like it. The door closed behind him. Lock clicking making him jump. He still slept with the window open. Closed places made him feel weary. Now he felt like a kid standing in front of the headmaster's office.

“Rick won't kill you”, Michonne said, noticing his agitation.

“Easy for you to say. You didn't mess up.”

“You saved his children a few times. He'll always feel like he owes you something.” Aaron managed a weak smile.

“Aaron, nice to see you. Sit down”, Rick seemed genuinely pleased. “How are you feeling.”

“I'm fine.”

“I talked with Rosita and Tara. They told me that you could go on a run again in one weeks' time. If you're up for it?”

Dumbfounded Aaron stared at the other man. “Ahem...sure I'm up for it”, he finally managed.

“Listen, I know things have been a bit tense between us, but you are a very valuable member of the group. You have saved us countless times. You look out for this group, and I consider us friends.” Normally Aaron had a quick reply on his lips, but now he still was too surprised. “After my wife died I did some stupid things. Grieve switches your brain off, and just fuels emotions. Amplifying them over everything else. You hurt the ones you love. I left my boy alone with my newborn daughter. I know what it feels like to lose your world. Aaron, I'm not mad or disappointed.” Still Aaron didn't know what to say. “I hope you understand that for now you can't go on runs alone. For now. Daryl will accompany you.”

“Of course”, Aaron muttered.

“I've thought about this for a great deal now. I think we should recruit again.

“What?”

“Yes, we have so much space here. More people wouldn't be a bad idea. I'd like to have you and Daryl on board.”

“I don't know. Look what happened the last time, Rick.”

“There are still people who need our help out there. People like Henry. You two are very close, I know that. Our children mean the world to us.” Aaron nodded again. “You can read people, Aaron. It's a valuable skill these days. If I showed you a person you could tell me if he is a good or a bad person. I need you on this job.”

“What did Daryl say?”

“He wants to do it. We can build a future for our children. For Judith, Carl, Enid, May, Henry.”

“What if I lost my touch?”

“Aaron, you did this job for years now. It's like riding a bike after a two months break.”

“With all the wheels coming off.”

Rick eyes narrowed, realizing something. “This is about Eric, isn't it?” Aaron rolled his sleeves down. Hands trembling. “You did this before with Daryl.”

The younger man gave him an exhausted look. “We both know I'm not a good person. Eric kept me grounded. He was the optimist. I wanted to give up on people he told me to look closer. I wanted to get people into the camp he argued against it because they had skills, but no moral. Finally I made him agree to take them in...it was Davidson's crew.”

“What about us?”

“We shared our opinion on you. A group we could trust.”

“Eric's still with you. Even if he isn't there physically. And Daryl's going to make sure that you don't take the wrong ones in”, Rick said.

“It just feels wrong. Without Eric. It was our thing, you know what I mean? It's like saying goodbye.”

“Nobody can take your memories away you made with him. Eric will always be there. Whatever you do. If you want it or not he'll be there. Beside you.”

“Okay, I can give it a shot.”

Rick smiled putting a hand on his shoulder. “I'm glad to have you in my family, Aaron.”

 

“How did it go?”, Daryl waited outside chewing on a piece of grass. Aaron gave him a bewildered look, still confused as hell.

“I guess we're going stalking again”, he tried to break out of his strange mood. A real smiled on his friend's face. He clasped Aaron's back.

“Like old times”

“Yep.”

“Did Rick go all father on you?”, Daryl asked taking in the shaken up state of his friend.

“Yes, it's actually quite scary.”

“Rick tends to be scary.”

“He didn't tell me off, though.”

“Course not. As I told you before he likes you....Quit worrying. If you go all A-wall on me I'll smack you till it clears your head.”

“You'd love to do that, don't you?”, Aaron asked amazed how easy Daryl read him.

“Sure”, Daryl tousled Aaron's curls up that had grown longer.

“Hey”

“Come on pretty boy we need to go. Henry is waiting for lunch. He wants to eat the cookies.”

 

Aaron remembered the feeling to come home and someone one was there to greet him. It felt like home. He had been shaking, blood coating his jacket. Eric had given him one look. Just knowing that something had happened. Leading him away from the mayhem of Rick and Dave he pulled Aaron into their home. Pushing him onto the couch making him a tea. Sitting next to him Aaron had clung to the tea for dear life. Fear still in his bones. Adrenaline wearing off. Eric had laid his hand on Aaron's knee. His brown eyes searching the blue ones.

“You're safe. Everything is going to be alright.” Aaron's hands had trembled so bad that he nearly spilled the tea. Gently Eric had pulled the cup out off his grasp.

“What happened?” The only thing Aaron could think about was the worry in Eric's eyes. What would have happened if Aaron had died? Eric would have been devastated. He hugged his boyfriend. Pulling him in a tight embrace.

“I'll keep you safe no matter what”, he whispered into Eric's ear. Not letting go.

 

“Are you alright?”, Aaron blinked, a bit dazed. Daryl had spit out a straw of grass. The same kind of worry like Eric had in Daryl's eyes.

“I know this is all hard on you. Going recruiting without Eric. But I think we should...”, Daryl wasn't sure how to continue. Despite the whole situation Aaron gave out a little chuckle. His smile nearly dying in his melancholy.

“I'm gonna be fine. Quit worrying.” Looking relieved the redneck remarked, “Don't want to sound like a suburban dad.”

“Don't worry you're sounding like a suburban mom now.”

“You little shit”, Daryl playfully shoved him, tousling his curls yet again.

 

“So, yeah we're going recruiting again. I hope it all pans out. Glad to be outside. Henry is going hunting with us. Carol says Daryl is starting to co-parent Henry. Which she does as well. You'd really like Henry he reminds me of Percy, well a more serious version anyway”, he pulled out the last photo of Eric. The sides already worn out. “I'm glad it was you and not me. It really sucks be the one left behind”, he took a deep breath.

“I'd rather be dead than here”, he looked over his shoulder. Daryl was just showing Henry how to hold his crossbow. “But I can't just leave...I have to go on without you...like Glenn and Tara have too. I love you Eric.”

Turning he went towards the others. Rick's voice in his head: “Don't look back.” But this time he did.

Turning back to see Eric's grave. Turning back to the best 10 years he had in life. Even if they had been filled with walkers and deaths. They had been the best 10 years. He could try but deep down he would never be this happy. The same haunted look on his face that Glenn had on his face. The haunted feeling that made them cling to May and Henry tighter. Because they knew that from one second to the next everything you loved, your world could vanish.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everybody who has read this. This was my first fanfiction I posted, so any comment and like means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a Kudos, drop a line, or swing by my blog pursuecrazylife.tumblr.com  
> Thank you so much for reading.


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